Are you pregnant... nope... just without a husband for a year???....Day 326+

So today, I was talking with another wife whose husband is deployed yet again. Her husband is gone for six months this time, last year he returned from a year long deployment. She has first hand knowledge of  how to survive a year long deployment. She mentioned that she was upset with herself because she had been asked by another wife, "is it really that bad when the guys are gone for a year?" She replied honestly to that question with a resounding "yes.. it is that bad." She felt horrible since the person asking was about to say farewell to her hubby as I did 6 weeks back. You know what I said... "heck yes it is that bad... how are you supposed to plan for a separation for a year?"  I shared how before Bill left I had asked him if he needed us to do something special before he left. I just wanted to treat each day as any other, with no emphasis or change of routine because he was leaving.  I felt as if we did anything but that, it would be as if we were walking the long corridor on death row, as if I was saying goodbye instead of see you soon. Thank God, Bill felt the same way I did.  We spent the last weeks doing what we always did. Running around to sports, playing games with the kids, eating dinner by 6pm and climbing into bed exhausted by 9pm.  I did not want to make all his favorite meals...aka.. a possible last meal. I did not want to throw a party of farewell.  How can anyone think that one can prepare for a year long separation. You can prepare in the ways of life insurance, power of attorneys, banking issues etc.. You can not prepare for the emotions a year separation will bring.
As wives we do not like the farewell nor the separation.. but we do it. We get by, we make lasting friendships, we struggle, we laugh, we cry..... but we do get through it. I think she should have been honest. Had I asked her the same question and had her reply been "oh, it was easy, no big deal." I would have been admitting myself to the psych ward back when I hit rock bottom. I would have believed that it was meant to be easy and that I was failing when I was in my unhappy place. I am glad she was honest, I applaud her honesty.

So the best I can do is explain how I view this deployment and separation. I will do so by comparing it to something I am vary familiar with...pregnancy and childbirth.
A pregnancy lasts just shy of  a year.. come on do you really want to argue over a couple months. It has emotional ups and downs,  sickness, uncertainty, worry and pain.  Heck, I have had four kids and trust me, I did not like being pregnant with a single one... yet the memory of the pregnancy and all that it held for me vanished upon bearing a child, hence my desire to become pregnant...again and again and again!  I believe a deployment will grant me all the emotions and uncertainty as a pregnancy. The only thing different is that in the end my bundle of joy will not come in a baby blanket smelling of baby powder. Mine will come in desert cammies, smelling of motor oil and dirt. He will run to me as soon as his boots hit the ground. It will have taken me a whole year to finally hug him and I will wait in anticipation for his arrival.
So, be prepared when you meet us wives, we may not have pregnant bellies but trust me... we will be having pregnancy emotions!!!! Tread lightly but be honest. No pregnant mother has ever asked a single person to lie to her. We all have our own individual pregnancy stories and we do not sugar coat them when asked. Some fair better than others but all will say it is worth every minute because of  the end result. So with that being said,  we should all be able to share our deployment stories without regret because we survived it and the end result was grand.

Bill-- it might be a good thing you are away since I mentioned the word pregnant.. lord knows just saying the word near you resulted in a child. Stay safe and remain in your gear... :)
We await for your rebirth in less than a year...