You all know you have done it.. you all have enjoyed that crazy rush when you were young and you ran up to a friends door late at night not to actually talk with them but to DING DONG DITCH them. You giggled, you ran, you hid... you had a blast doing it.
I am now that parent who hates ding dong ditching. I find it to be mean and unthoughtful. I say this because to a military spouse whose husband is deployed, it is. This is how it feels on the other side of the door. It is 11pm or later, and you are beginning to tire. You have just sent an email to your husband telling him how much you miss him and worry about his safety. You have checked on the kids and they are all sound asleep. The doorbell rings... instant fear creeps in to your head and your heart drops to your stomach. You slowly walk to the door not wanting to open it up, not wanting to see who is on the other side. You know your kids are in and safe. You know that no one should be ringing the bell so late unless....... unless it is for some horrible reason, this could be the notification about your husbands life.
No matter how much I keep myself protected by my bubble, no matter how much I pretend..... the fear of that notification stays buried deep in my mind until I get to hold Bill again, until I get to touch him, smell him and see his smile.
That being said.... I hate ding dong ditchers... I appeal to every parent out there to explain the fear that this game places on ones heart late at night. It could be notification of a loved ones death, it could be the boogeyman.... these are the only two options the pre deployment brief prepared me for!
I beg of you all to remind these pranksters, as fun as it is and as exhilarating the rush may be... the heartache and fear they have invoked on the other side of the door is unmeasurable. Their friend whom they think they are doing it to...does not even hear it, for he is asleep and dreaming. The parent, however, will not sleep that night or any night until they hear from their spouse. For some, this could be weeks and others may only wait a day or two.
I am not going to sit idly by and allow this to keep happening and after a great suggestion by a friend......... beware! She suggested that I alter my doorbell so it has the ability to give a jolt or two. Not enough to place permanent harm to someone but enough to make them not want to press it again. The pranksters, the bogeyman and the CACO (casualty assistance calls officer aka person notifying you of a death... the real bogeyman) all deserve a shock or two. My heart will have already had one if they arrive. To my friends and neighbors, please knock.... I would hate that my doorbell shocked you!
Bill-
Stay safe... thus far I have kept the bogeyman at bay. I am calling housing on Monday to see if they can offer me some assistance with my doorbell project. I know you worry about my safety when I begin working with electrical power.
Be sure to NOT ring the doorbell when you come home!!!!
Bill, my absolutely amazing and handsome husband has left for a one year plus tour to Afghanistan with RCT8. He is a Marine, a dad and a husband. This blog is for me, his wife to share the trials of being a military spouse.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
The parents...aka granparents leave tomorrow .. Day 321+
My parents leave tomorrow after 10 glorious days of having help. My dad was up early with the kids... I hate mornings. He made the kids their lunches and always prefaced it with, "you know kids when I leave you are back to doing this yourself, do not expect your mom to." Gotta love that my dad knows me well. He would greet me quietly every morning... basically he would nod until after I had my first cup of coffee. Gotta love him for knowing me well.
My mom played games with the kids and helped them do their homework every night. I did not have to sit and hear phonetic sounds emulating out of my daughter as she tried to sound out words she did not know. This requires patience and on some days when I am just done.... this can be a task. My mom made homemade chicken soup and beef stew....yum!! My parents took us out for dinner twice, this is a treat and one I love!
Based on what I have said above.. I was pampered for 10 whole days.. I had someone taking care of the kids in the mornings and someone taking care of them in the evenings. I sure hope I do not go through parent withdrawal like I did Bill withdrawal. It is a good thing I have the whole weekend of running around with soccer and basketball and cheer to remind me of how hectic my life is.
Thank you mom and dad.... I have loved every minute. Thank you Dad for doing chores off the honey do list... wait...I think Bill should be saying thanks for that one.
Bill-
No worries, as much as I loved having my parents here to help.... I am not packing up and moving to Florida quite yet. I will be here waiting for your return. I only ask that you do not resort to the "thunder bottles". I refuse to allow that into my home upon your return. Be careful and stay safe.... let me know if dietary fiber is needed in your quest for the small things in life.
My mom played games with the kids and helped them do their homework every night. I did not have to sit and hear phonetic sounds emulating out of my daughter as she tried to sound out words she did not know. This requires patience and on some days when I am just done.... this can be a task. My mom made homemade chicken soup and beef stew....yum!! My parents took us out for dinner twice, this is a treat and one I love!
Based on what I have said above.. I was pampered for 10 whole days.. I had someone taking care of the kids in the mornings and someone taking care of them in the evenings. I sure hope I do not go through parent withdrawal like I did Bill withdrawal. It is a good thing I have the whole weekend of running around with soccer and basketball and cheer to remind me of how hectic my life is.
Thank you mom and dad.... I have loved every minute. Thank you Dad for doing chores off the honey do list... wait...I think Bill should be saying thanks for that one.
Bill-
No worries, as much as I loved having my parents here to help.... I am not packing up and moving to Florida quite yet. I will be here waiting for your return. I only ask that you do not resort to the "thunder bottles". I refuse to allow that into my home upon your return. Be careful and stay safe.... let me know if dietary fiber is needed in your quest for the small things in life.
Parent meeting with the teachers... this is a rant!!! ....Day 321+
I believe I am the most ineffective parent when it comes to teacher conferences, especially when it truly matters. I met with my freshman's honor teachers yesterday to discuss his grade and to ask for them to assist me in his learning. I find it sad that I had to ask, but I believe that these two teachers are the ones that we all hated in school. You know the ones, they find one pet and that is the only A they give. I believe they grade harshly with the understanding that if a child wants a B...they will eat, sleep and dream only their subject. The learning I received from teachers such as this was..... that life is unfair, you do things to please another regardless of your belief, you struggle for no reason in a class that will mean absolutely nothing in 10 years (remember my rule of 10s).
I believe that these teachers do not have any child's best interest at heart and I believe that they are great at saying one thing and then reacting another. Maybe they can read my blog and fail me and my writing style. Maybe they will read my blog and do an inner search on how they teach. Maybe they will read my blog and remember what it was like to be in a class like theirs. Maybe they will find the truth about being an educator... that it should be about the student learning, it should be about helping a student, it should be about mentoring young minds.....not about proving how smart they are and how inept we parents are.
I know several of you Lejeune parents have encountered these two teachers... I know several have negative feelings. I truly have no negative feelings...I just want them to teach my son. I want them to truly want to see him excel. I want them to love their jobs...and if they do not then they should move on. This truly applies to all teachers...if you dislike what you do, you are doing a disservice to Americas youth!!!
I was playing by the rules. I was sitting back waiting and watching you and trying to stay off your back like you asked in our first meeting. Now I am now going to be overly involved in my freshmans homework.. which I believe is a bad tactic seeing as how he has 4 years to figure things out before he heads to college. Thank you honors teachers for not assisting him in his growth in regards to personal time management, thank you for not taking the added interest in a child and allowing him to slip, thank you for pointing out it was my fault...I should have kept up on grade speed (online grade and assignment page), thank you for not taking that extra step with a child, thank you for not following through with what I asked on week 2 (I asked for you to help me help him stay on task and focused). I would have thought I need not spell out to you that an email when he has 3 late assignments would be nice.... I swear you asked me to step away from grade speed and allow him time to manage his grade as a whole... I did my part and now his grade has suffered.
Thank you ...Thank you... Thank you.....
I have now decided that the DODEA school system has significant flaws.. I am not sure how I get them changed, but I will take any and all suggestions. I am willing to start the petition in regards to honors classes not being weighted. I am done watching children whom are intelligent and strive to better themselves by taking the harder course sit behind another whom took the easy class in regards to class rank. I am done with your thinking that kids are equal in grades in regards to honors class v. basic English or whatever subject. I am done with your way of thinking that a college will see beyond the GPA and notice a honors course.There are several academic scholarships that require an 4.0 and above GPA and now our children will not be able to apply courtesy of your standard. I am done with you thinking it is okay... I am just done.
I am also done with DODEA standards in regards to sports.... at what point did you lose sight of a well rounded child. When did someone think that hiring a coach yearly would help the transient children of your school? How is it okay for our sports to not have daily practices and yet the coach does not lose pay for the day? Who said athletics ever worsened a child's behavior or mentality? Did you lose sight of how great a child's application for both college and scholarships looks when you see that they were part of extra curriculars. Did you lose sight that we have some great athletes among us and they are at a dis service when you provide nothing for them in regards to coaching and training. They may not receive an academic scholarship... so why are we not trying to enable those who can the opportunity to achieve an athletic one. At the high school level you should be allocating monies for any and all areas that can enable our children the opportunity for a higher level education. This does not always come in the form of only book education, it can come in the form of sports and in the arts. Wake up.... allow our high schools to be well rounded like you say you want our kids!!!!
I am willing to call and send emails daily to those in positions that can assess teaching styles that are ineffective and are causing our children to suffer. If you know where I should start..please let me know.
I have found a cause... trust me there are many.. .but one that is worth my fight is when it pertains to my kids.
Disclaimer::: Some of the best teachers my kids have had are DODEA teachers. I truly love them for taking that extra step with all of their students, especially with mine. Thank you all.. you know who you are.
In regards to the teachers in my rant... I believe you both are wonderful teachers in your area of expertise.. I am hoping that you will now take that extra step in your teaching and show how much you care about your profession and your kids.
I believe that these teachers do not have any child's best interest at heart and I believe that they are great at saying one thing and then reacting another. Maybe they can read my blog and fail me and my writing style. Maybe they will read my blog and do an inner search on how they teach. Maybe they will read my blog and remember what it was like to be in a class like theirs. Maybe they will find the truth about being an educator... that it should be about the student learning, it should be about helping a student, it should be about mentoring young minds.....not about proving how smart they are and how inept we parents are.
I know several of you Lejeune parents have encountered these two teachers... I know several have negative feelings. I truly have no negative feelings...I just want them to teach my son. I want them to truly want to see him excel. I want them to love their jobs...and if they do not then they should move on. This truly applies to all teachers...if you dislike what you do, you are doing a disservice to Americas youth!!!
I was playing by the rules. I was sitting back waiting and watching you and trying to stay off your back like you asked in our first meeting. Now I am now going to be overly involved in my freshmans homework.. which I believe is a bad tactic seeing as how he has 4 years to figure things out before he heads to college. Thank you honors teachers for not assisting him in his growth in regards to personal time management, thank you for not taking the added interest in a child and allowing him to slip, thank you for pointing out it was my fault...I should have kept up on grade speed (online grade and assignment page), thank you for not taking that extra step with a child, thank you for not following through with what I asked on week 2 (I asked for you to help me help him stay on task and focused). I would have thought I need not spell out to you that an email when he has 3 late assignments would be nice.... I swear you asked me to step away from grade speed and allow him time to manage his grade as a whole... I did my part and now his grade has suffered.
Thank you ...Thank you... Thank you.....
I have now decided that the DODEA school system has significant flaws.. I am not sure how I get them changed, but I will take any and all suggestions. I am willing to start the petition in regards to honors classes not being weighted. I am done watching children whom are intelligent and strive to better themselves by taking the harder course sit behind another whom took the easy class in regards to class rank. I am done with your thinking that kids are equal in grades in regards to honors class v. basic English or whatever subject. I am done with your way of thinking that a college will see beyond the GPA and notice a honors course.There are several academic scholarships that require an 4.0 and above GPA and now our children will not be able to apply courtesy of your standard. I am done with you thinking it is okay... I am just done.
I am also done with DODEA standards in regards to sports.... at what point did you lose sight of a well rounded child. When did someone think that hiring a coach yearly would help the transient children of your school? How is it okay for our sports to not have daily practices and yet the coach does not lose pay for the day? Who said athletics ever worsened a child's behavior or mentality? Did you lose sight of how great a child's application for both college and scholarships looks when you see that they were part of extra curriculars. Did you lose sight that we have some great athletes among us and they are at a dis service when you provide nothing for them in regards to coaching and training. They may not receive an academic scholarship... so why are we not trying to enable those who can the opportunity to achieve an athletic one. At the high school level you should be allocating monies for any and all areas that can enable our children the opportunity for a higher level education. This does not always come in the form of only book education, it can come in the form of sports and in the arts. Wake up.... allow our high schools to be well rounded like you say you want our kids!!!!
I am willing to call and send emails daily to those in positions that can assess teaching styles that are ineffective and are causing our children to suffer. If you know where I should start..please let me know.
I have found a cause... trust me there are many.. .but one that is worth my fight is when it pertains to my kids.
Disclaimer::: Some of the best teachers my kids have had are DODEA teachers. I truly love them for taking that extra step with all of their students, especially with mine. Thank you all.. you know who you are.
In regards to the teachers in my rant... I believe you both are wonderful teachers in your area of expertise.. I am hoping that you will now take that extra step in your teaching and show how much you care about your profession and your kids.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Phase two of a deployment......Day 323+...
It has arrived. I am now on phase two of this deployment.. I truly am not sure how many phases there are but hey I figure I should celebrate moving on from phase one. You know the phase of uncertainty, mixed emotions, guilt and chaos. I am now on autopilot. My kids are now on autopilot. We all have a silent understanding of what we are supposed to do and what will be tolerated. I like this phase thus far. I could do without some lingering episodes from phase one...such as my dishwasher!!!! Seriously, how hard is it for housing to arrive when they say they will. I just want them to just look at it. Do they not realize for me to be complete I MUST have a dishwasher... I guess my new dishwasher will be all the rage in the WW (Winston/Wavell) hood. Yes, be jealous... it is not a whirlpool, it is not a Maytag, it is not a Jenn-air...it is SAL!!!!!!!!
He is available weekdays after 8pm. Let me know what your address is and I will send him right over. You will love how clean and shiny your dishes and glassware become. He is even talented enough to hum while cleaning and there is no extra charge for that entertainment. This chore, is the silent expectation.... too bad he did not get the memo...for now it seems to be Grandpa............what will I do when he leaves ?
Bill-
Hold on to the fort in Afghanistan...I believe that housing is trying to make me feel your pain by having me hand wash dishes....UGH!!! You know how much I love camping and I fear that soon I will have to resort to that style of living. Happy you are safe and that the men around you are as well.
Stay safe and for the love of GOD.... clean your desk....
to my readers.... ....hint...hint.... canned air and dusters would be a rage ..... I think these would be great pkg items!
He is available weekdays after 8pm. Let me know what your address is and I will send him right over. You will love how clean and shiny your dishes and glassware become. He is even talented enough to hum while cleaning and there is no extra charge for that entertainment. This chore, is the silent expectation.... too bad he did not get the memo...for now it seems to be Grandpa............what will I do when he leaves ?
Bill-
Hold on to the fort in Afghanistan...I believe that housing is trying to make me feel your pain by having me hand wash dishes....UGH!!! You know how much I love camping and I fear that soon I will have to resort to that style of living. Happy you are safe and that the men around you are as well.
Stay safe and for the love of GOD.... clean your desk....
to my readers.... ....hint...hint.... canned air and dusters would be a rage ..... I think these would be great pkg items!
Monday, February 21, 2011
Day 325+ .... yep opsec and scare tactics... I have broken the rules..... or have I????
So upon reading another military wives blog which a friend posted on facebook. I am now shamed.... I have broken all rules of opsec.... according to this wife here they are..
OPSEC is a very important mandate, created to keep our military community safe. If you are in a relationship with a service member it is part of your job to uphold OPSEC. Here is what you need to know.
OPSEC is a very important mandate, created to keep our military community safe. If you are in a relationship with a service member it is part of your job to uphold OPSEC. Here is what you need to know.
- Don’t discuss current or future destinations or ports of call. - This means EXACT locations. ie: Helmand Province Afghanistan, Fort Benning GA
- Don’t discuss current or future operations or missions. -Exact dates of departure and arrival, field ops, TAD’s etc
- Don’t discuss current or future dates and times of when Service members will be in port or conducting exercises.
- Don’t discuss readiness issues and numbers.
- Don’t discuss specific training equipment.
- Don’t discuss people’s names and billets in conjunction with operations.
- Don’t speculate about current or future operations.
- Don’t spread rumors about current, future, or past operations or movements.
- Don’t assume the enemy is not trying to collect information on you; he is.
- Be smart, use your head, and always think OPSEC when using email, phone, chat rooms and message boards.
this was also posted......
How easy would it be to prey on military wives with deployed husbands? If you don’t follow Operational Security, They know your husband is gone. They know exactly where you’re stationed, and your last update said you were running to the mall today to get Christmas presents. It wouldn’t be hard for someone to find you, and harm you in some way?
This is what I have to say:
I have given my husbands name because I am proud to call him mine.
I have said he is in Afghanistan and which Regiment he belongs to. Wait... the news told everyone that RCT 8 replaced RCT 2.... does that mean I am to blame for that?
I have a countdown listed.. ok not an exact one.. I do have a plus sign because I truly do not know when.
I have asked for confirmation regarding training equipment...helmet and flak. Thinking that truly the enemy would already think he had those items.
As for me knowing any plans regarding past, present or future operations..... my husband knows better than to break opsec which was meant for him to abide by. My husband also knows I like my bubble and providing me with any information that may pop it would be worse than breaking opsec.
The scare tactic of reminding me not to assume the enemy is not trying to collect information on you; he is. okay.... come on..... at what point do you truly need to place this on the list.. I do not fault her, I believe she stated this was from the department of defense. I just would like to have faith and believe that not every human being is out to get me. How could one live? How could one survive in such a world?
The final is the boogey man post.....come on..... it is hard enough for spouses to say goodbye...then you have to scare the crap out of them. Thanks... I may need some lunesta or ambien so I can sleep tonight. I will be sure to not go to the mall or shop in town... everyone is my enemy now.
My bubble maybe naive. but I truly do not believe that my blog is going to provide the enemy with much information except that I love my husband and that he is a marine and that yes I am alone... wait I have four kids with me.... so I guess if they would like to come to my home... sure come on... I seriously doubt they will survive.
I have to believe that I am safe and that my kids are safe, isn't that why my husband is not here. He is fighting for my safety..... if I do not believe that basic belief... than I would be miserable and angry that he is not home. I must believe.... so DOD and other wives and terrorist lurkers .... know this.... I am not in the know.. I do not care to be in the know...I am a housewife.... my life is boring....my life is average.... it is mine and trust me.... I WILL FIGHT FOR IT!!!!
Bill--- while you and the women and men of the military fight for our freedoms.... our safety.... know that us wives here...we will fight for ours too. We will keep your homes safe so you can return to hugs and kisses.
personal disclaimer..... the above opsec rules need to be adhered by those that unfortunately do say too much. They are good rules... so please do your best. That is all one can ask...right???
I believe in my fellow spouses and I believe as adults we will not bring harm to others by disclosing information on maneuvers and operations. If you know of any.... maybe you should join the military...it is not your job to be that well informed. It is your job to love your spouse, support your spouse, and to keep the home front safe.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Are you pregnant... nope... just without a husband for a year???....Day 326+
So today, I was talking with another wife whose husband is deployed yet again. Her husband is gone for six months this time, last year he returned from a year long deployment. She has first hand knowledge of how to survive a year long deployment. She mentioned that she was upset with herself because she had been asked by another wife, "is it really that bad when the guys are gone for a year?" She replied honestly to that question with a resounding "yes.. it is that bad." She felt horrible since the person asking was about to say farewell to her hubby as I did 6 weeks back. You know what I said... "heck yes it is that bad... how are you supposed to plan for a separation for a year?" I shared how before Bill left I had asked him if he needed us to do something special before he left. I just wanted to treat each day as any other, with no emphasis or change of routine because he was leaving. I felt as if we did anything but that, it would be as if we were walking the long corridor on death row, as if I was saying goodbye instead of see you soon. Thank God, Bill felt the same way I did. We spent the last weeks doing what we always did. Running around to sports, playing games with the kids, eating dinner by 6pm and climbing into bed exhausted by 9pm. I did not want to make all his favorite meals...aka.. a possible last meal. I did not want to throw a party of farewell. How can anyone think that one can prepare for a year long separation. You can prepare in the ways of life insurance, power of attorneys, banking issues etc.. You can not prepare for the emotions a year separation will bring.
As wives we do not like the farewell nor the separation.. but we do it. We get by, we make lasting friendships, we struggle, we laugh, we cry..... but we do get through it. I think she should have been honest. Had I asked her the same question and had her reply been "oh, it was easy, no big deal." I would have been admitting myself to the psych ward back when I hit rock bottom. I would have believed that it was meant to be easy and that I was failing when I was in my unhappy place. I am glad she was honest, I applaud her honesty.
So the best I can do is explain how I view this deployment and separation. I will do so by comparing it to something I am vary familiar with...pregnancy and childbirth.
A pregnancy lasts just shy of a year.. come on do you really want to argue over a couple months. It has emotional ups and downs, sickness, uncertainty, worry and pain. Heck, I have had four kids and trust me, I did not like being pregnant with a single one... yet the memory of the pregnancy and all that it held for me vanished upon bearing a child, hence my desire to become pregnant...again and again and again! I believe a deployment will grant me all the emotions and uncertainty as a pregnancy. The only thing different is that in the end my bundle of joy will not come in a baby blanket smelling of baby powder. Mine will come in desert cammies, smelling of motor oil and dirt. He will run to me as soon as his boots hit the ground. It will have taken me a whole year to finally hug him and I will wait in anticipation for his arrival.
So, be prepared when you meet us wives, we may not have pregnant bellies but trust me... we will be having pregnancy emotions!!!! Tread lightly but be honest. No pregnant mother has ever asked a single person to lie to her. We all have our own individual pregnancy stories and we do not sugar coat them when asked. Some fair better than others but all will say it is worth every minute because of the end result. So with that being said, we should all be able to share our deployment stories without regret because we survived it and the end result was grand.
Bill-- it might be a good thing you are away since I mentioned the word pregnant.. lord knows just saying the word near you resulted in a child. Stay safe and remain in your gear... :)
We await for your rebirth in less than a year...
As wives we do not like the farewell nor the separation.. but we do it. We get by, we make lasting friendships, we struggle, we laugh, we cry..... but we do get through it. I think she should have been honest. Had I asked her the same question and had her reply been "oh, it was easy, no big deal." I would have been admitting myself to the psych ward back when I hit rock bottom. I would have believed that it was meant to be easy and that I was failing when I was in my unhappy place. I am glad she was honest, I applaud her honesty.
So the best I can do is explain how I view this deployment and separation. I will do so by comparing it to something I am vary familiar with...pregnancy and childbirth.
A pregnancy lasts just shy of a year.. come on do you really want to argue over a couple months. It has emotional ups and downs, sickness, uncertainty, worry and pain. Heck, I have had four kids and trust me, I did not like being pregnant with a single one... yet the memory of the pregnancy and all that it held for me vanished upon bearing a child, hence my desire to become pregnant...again and again and again! I believe a deployment will grant me all the emotions and uncertainty as a pregnancy. The only thing different is that in the end my bundle of joy will not come in a baby blanket smelling of baby powder. Mine will come in desert cammies, smelling of motor oil and dirt. He will run to me as soon as his boots hit the ground. It will have taken me a whole year to finally hug him and I will wait in anticipation for his arrival.
So, be prepared when you meet us wives, we may not have pregnant bellies but trust me... we will be having pregnancy emotions!!!! Tread lightly but be honest. No pregnant mother has ever asked a single person to lie to her. We all have our own individual pregnancy stories and we do not sugar coat them when asked. Some fair better than others but all will say it is worth every minute because of the end result. So with that being said, we should all be able to share our deployment stories without regret because we survived it and the end result was grand.
Bill-- it might be a good thing you are away since I mentioned the word pregnant.. lord knows just saying the word near you resulted in a child. Stay safe and remain in your gear... :)
We await for your rebirth in less than a year...
Friday, February 18, 2011
The parents have arrived.....Day 328+
A deployment is not a deployment until your parents visit. They come because they love you but most importantly they come to make sure you are surviving thus far and not beating their grand kids. I have not resorted to beatings yet, but I can not say I was not tempted. Please note, I do not beat..thinking and doing are two different things.
So, my parents are here so I can sleep.... you recall I am not a morning person. I hate mornings. I believe I should not crawl out of bed until after 8am and this is not a conducive time when trying to get four kids to the bus by 8am. My dad is a early riser, always has been. I am happy to delegate the morning routine to him. Please pray for him, he will need a lot of strength.
Mornings here go like this: 6am wake up two older boys and encourage them to get ready in a timely fashion. Make sure they eat breakfast and most importantly that they actually brush their teeth. Make lunches...ok I usually have them make them. I crawl back in bed after I know they are functioning okay with out me, but seeing as how grandpa is here, I know they will abuse him and he will make the lunches for them. Double check the backpacks and ask if they have all their homework and items needed for the day. Scoot them out the door for the bus by 7am. Wake up smaller kids..it is now challenge time. I wake them up at 7am. They get one hour to get dressed, eat breakfast and brush teeth. I think this is more than enough time, however, I tend to be amazed just how slow they are. I have tried waking them earlier....time is not the issue, morning is! I must assist them at every turn or they get side tracked. Tony and Cami must be separated while doing all tasks or total chaos arrives. I must make their breakfast and then stand watch over them. I must set a time limit on the bathroom use and allow only one at a time during teeth brushing. You should see what my sink looks like if they are together during that task, not to mention the amount of toothbrush fencing that happens. The next chore is my favorite..what to wear....they always win at this game and I realize it is truly an art for them. I can not count how many times I have walked in 5minutes before the bus just to see Cami standing in her underwear blankly staring at her clothes. Setting them out the night before... that is worse and disrupts bedtime. They are clothing snobs.... snobs not in a good way. They truly only wear the SAME thing day after day. My kids have loads of clothing, yet I see the same shirt and pants or skirt over and over again.
Next, I prepare lunch and I am a short order cook. They put in requests and wala...it appears.
At 8am my kids are out t he door and awaiting the bus..... the house becomes quiet and for me... I go have a 2nd and 3rd cup of coffee.
Are any of you wondering how my dad will do this? I am, I know that PAPA, as my kids call him, will be the biggest push over. I know my kids will get him and my mom to allow things I do not. For example, today I came down and saw twiddle dee and twiddle dum aka Tony and Cami watching tv while eating breakfast... whoaaa!!! Does she not realize that they will turn into cartoon zombies and breakfast will sit in their mouths but chewing will not commence. Yep, they know the rule but hey...Grandma and Papa are here. All is great in their worlds. They know that Grandma and Papa are my parents and mom always says that she is the ruler because she is our parent. Hmmm, that would mean that Grandma and Papa are moms ruler.....
My kids love when Grandma and Papa visit..... LORD HELP ME!!!!
I say to pray for my dad... he will be the one getting my kids ready. I take after my mom and she dislikes mornings too! I ask for help because I know my kids will get my parents to buy into slack rules.
Bill-
Glad you finally showed me helmet and flak. I was getting worried. I am now concerned with your peeing issue. I will see if I can find you a more suitable bottle to use at the bedside....hint hint to all of you sending care packages.....hint hint to all my nursing and doctor friends. I think a healthy bladder package is needed from everyone!!!!!! Beware of what you open next honey....LOL
So, my parents are here so I can sleep.... you recall I am not a morning person. I hate mornings. I believe I should not crawl out of bed until after 8am and this is not a conducive time when trying to get four kids to the bus by 8am. My dad is a early riser, always has been. I am happy to delegate the morning routine to him. Please pray for him, he will need a lot of strength.
Mornings here go like this: 6am wake up two older boys and encourage them to get ready in a timely fashion. Make sure they eat breakfast and most importantly that they actually brush their teeth. Make lunches...ok I usually have them make them. I crawl back in bed after I know they are functioning okay with out me, but seeing as how grandpa is here, I know they will abuse him and he will make the lunches for them. Double check the backpacks and ask if they have all their homework and items needed for the day. Scoot them out the door for the bus by 7am. Wake up smaller kids..it is now challenge time. I wake them up at 7am. They get one hour to get dressed, eat breakfast and brush teeth. I think this is more than enough time, however, I tend to be amazed just how slow they are. I have tried waking them earlier....time is not the issue, morning is! I must assist them at every turn or they get side tracked. Tony and Cami must be separated while doing all tasks or total chaos arrives. I must make their breakfast and then stand watch over them. I must set a time limit on the bathroom use and allow only one at a time during teeth brushing. You should see what my sink looks like if they are together during that task, not to mention the amount of toothbrush fencing that happens. The next chore is my favorite..what to wear....they always win at this game and I realize it is truly an art for them. I can not count how many times I have walked in 5minutes before the bus just to see Cami standing in her underwear blankly staring at her clothes. Setting them out the night before... that is worse and disrupts bedtime. They are clothing snobs.... snobs not in a good way. They truly only wear the SAME thing day after day. My kids have loads of clothing, yet I see the same shirt and pants or skirt over and over again.
Next, I prepare lunch and I am a short order cook. They put in requests and wala...it appears.
At 8am my kids are out t he door and awaiting the bus..... the house becomes quiet and for me... I go have a 2nd and 3rd cup of coffee.
Are any of you wondering how my dad will do this? I am, I know that PAPA, as my kids call him, will be the biggest push over. I know my kids will get him and my mom to allow things I do not. For example, today I came down and saw twiddle dee and twiddle dum aka Tony and Cami watching tv while eating breakfast... whoaaa!!! Does she not realize that they will turn into cartoon zombies and breakfast will sit in their mouths but chewing will not commence. Yep, they know the rule but hey...Grandma and Papa are here. All is great in their worlds. They know that Grandma and Papa are my parents and mom always says that she is the ruler because she is our parent. Hmmm, that would mean that Grandma and Papa are moms ruler.....
My kids love when Grandma and Papa visit..... LORD HELP ME!!!!
I say to pray for my dad... he will be the one getting my kids ready. I take after my mom and she dislikes mornings too! I ask for help because I know my kids will get my parents to buy into slack rules.
Bill-
Glad you finally showed me helmet and flak. I was getting worried. I am now concerned with your peeing issue. I will see if I can find you a more suitable bottle to use at the bedside....hint hint to all of you sending care packages.....hint hint to all my nursing and doctor friends. I think a healthy bladder package is needed from everyone!!!!!! Beware of what you open next honey....LOL
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
We have confirmation......Day 330+
We have confirmation... my husband truly does have his gear with him. I am thinking he really wanted me to send off the packages I had for him. For those of you that know my husband... you now that dust on his desk has got to be driving him crazy!!! He is a believer in organization on his desk at 90 degree angles so that should some one sit at his desk he would notice because they inevitably touch something and move it. Thank you Col Jurney for mentoring this annoying attention to desk detail.
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| "yes this is for you" |
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Updates from the blog ....day 331+
First I must update the status of my package. You know the one I have been holding hostage until I get proof that my husband actually owns a helmet and flak. Well.. it has been mailed...yippee !! I figured that it was the least I could do. After all, it was Valentines Day and I was sure to receive something. So, off I went to stand in line to mail him his goodies. I caved... I have yet to see proof of the items in question, but I had to show him I loved him... Now, I wait to see if it pays off and he posts some pics of the above mentioned items on his person. The post office was all all that I had described previously, there were several Marines holding the tape dispenser waiting for that box tape fairy to arrive. There were Marines trying to pack and repack their items into small boxes just to save the $2.00 it costs to move up a box size. The small galley of a post office was packed with about eight people doing this while the line was fifteen Marines deep. I was blessed though... it only took thirty minutes. I had fifteen Marines in front of me that were all missing some form of mailing address, custom form, or packing material and each time they got to the counter they were denied and sent to fix themselves. This enabled me to get to the front of the line quick.... I did silently feel bad for them all when I, prepared as I was, forgot to put my return address on my packages. I believe the mailman knew I might go postal should he have me step to the side to complete my error so he very kindly gave me his pen to mark my box at the counter. There are small miracles right???
Second I must share my gesture of adoring love by my husband. He sent flowers via proflowers.com. I love that he ignores me when I say "please honey you do not have to send flowers." They are beautiful and the card he dictated is also beautiful. However, the best thing he did and the grand gesture was his blog post. He wrote about our first time meeting and our first date. From his viewpoint it sounds so romantic.... we were after all just teenagers and we all know how awkward those years were. Here is the link, you will need to copy and paste into your browser.
http://sablaninafghanistan.blogspot.com/2011/02/love-story-on-valentines-day.html
Last but not least, my geography skills have paid off... or at least I think so. Tony my youngest son says to me. "Did you know they have panther crossings by Dad's camp?" I think about this and ask... "Did Dad tell you this?" I am thinking, is there a large panther population in Afghanistan, should I Google this? Do I need to now fear panther attacks along with terrorist attacks? Then Tony continues and says, " No Dad did not tell me, but on that map, it says Panther along a dotted line." "It shows the dotted line on the legend too." I go look at the map and sure enough there is a dotted line with the word Panther on it and the dotted line is indeed on the legend... I must now explain that it looks as if it may be the name for a road.... not a crossing for actual panthers. I am going to have to let Bill clarify, the legend is no help. It only names the dotted line as Panther which I could clearly see on the map.
So glad I could help point out to my son, that nope not Panthers.... ok I am secretly praying that is true!!!!
Bill-
You are now tasked with 2 items from Sablan house. First, where are my pics of your flak and helmet... I do not need to see them sitting on the boulders near the tent. Second, do they have panthers where you are and is there really a crossing??
Second I must share my gesture of adoring love by my husband. He sent flowers via proflowers.com. I love that he ignores me when I say "please honey you do not have to send flowers." They are beautiful and the card he dictated is also beautiful. However, the best thing he did and the grand gesture was his blog post. He wrote about our first time meeting and our first date. From his viewpoint it sounds so romantic.... we were after all just teenagers and we all know how awkward those years were. Here is the link, you will need to copy and paste into your browser.
http://sablaninafghanistan.blogspot.com/2011/02/love-story-on-valentines-day.html
Last but not least, my geography skills have paid off... or at least I think so. Tony my youngest son says to me. "Did you know they have panther crossings by Dad's camp?" I think about this and ask... "Did Dad tell you this?" I am thinking, is there a large panther population in Afghanistan, should I Google this? Do I need to now fear panther attacks along with terrorist attacks? Then Tony continues and says, " No Dad did not tell me, but on that map, it says Panther along a dotted line." "It shows the dotted line on the legend too." I go look at the map and sure enough there is a dotted line with the word Panther on it and the dotted line is indeed on the legend... I must now explain that it looks as if it may be the name for a road.... not a crossing for actual panthers. I am going to have to let Bill clarify, the legend is no help. It only names the dotted line as Panther which I could clearly see on the map.
So glad I could help point out to my son, that nope not Panthers.... ok I am secretly praying that is true!!!!
Bill-
You are now tasked with 2 items from Sablan house. First, where are my pics of your flak and helmet... I do not need to see them sitting on the boulders near the tent. Second, do they have panthers where you are and is there really a crossing??
Monday, February 14, 2011
Happy Valentines Day ... only 332 + to go
Happy Valentines Day... This is the first official holiday I am missing with my husband. I celebrated with friends whom husbands were not home and enjoyed myself. I bought flowers for wives whom will not receive any this year. I had a good day and do you know why, it is because I am in love. I love my husband more than words can express, more than I can truly describe. I am blessed to be married to my one and only and regardless of the miles apart, I know he loves me right back. How could I not enjoy today, I can celebrate all that is right in my world. I shall allow my heart to swell knowing that I am loved and that I am in love. I also know that my husband as amazing as he is, will present some grand gesture of his affection towards me. I look forward to this every year and every year he never fails me. This is not the first Valentine we are apart. I am giddy with anticipation for his gesture.What girl wouldn't be?
My husband I have routinely signed off countless cards and love letters to each other with "your split-apart". This phrase meaning, that at some place in another time we were one and split apart only to be destined to find each other and become whole again. This is why when we are apart by miles I do pine for my husband. I need him, if you recall, I said he was my rock, he is the air that I breathe... he is what makes me whole.
That being said...Happy Valentines Day to you all, kiss the one you love, hug the one you love.. some of us wish we could express our love in that manner.. so for us... please show the person you love just how much you do.
Bill-
I love you more than I can express. I need you to stay safe and return to me. Wear your helmet and flak... your split apart needs to feel whole again and you returning will be the only way.
My husband I have routinely signed off countless cards and love letters to each other with "your split-apart". This phrase meaning, that at some place in another time we were one and split apart only to be destined to find each other and become whole again. This is why when we are apart by miles I do pine for my husband. I need him, if you recall, I said he was my rock, he is the air that I breathe... he is what makes me whole.
That being said...Happy Valentines Day to you all, kiss the one you love, hug the one you love.. some of us wish we could express our love in that manner.. so for us... please show the person you love just how much you do.
Bill-
I love you more than I can express. I need you to stay safe and return to me. Wear your helmet and flak... your split apart needs to feel whole again and you returning will be the only way.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Religion...... Day 333+
This is one of those do not judge me posts. This is also one of those go ahead and pray for me posts, I am sure I am not nearly as god fearing as I should be and all the help I can get is welcomed... I say this meaning you can pray for me but do not preach to me.
I am a Catholic, I am not necessarily a great one, but I am Catholic. I believe in the holy trinity, I believe in God and I believe in my church. I do, however, have opinions that sometimes may put my faith in the church to question. I like to call myself a reformed Catholic... not sure they exist, but the term helps me deal with the Catholic guilt I get when I disagree with certain positions in the church. I will not share those differences, just pointing out that I have them. I also do not attend mass regularly, I know this is horrible.. pray for me now! I do, however, try very hard to raise my kids right by the church, I take them to mass when I can, I enroll my kids in religious education, I promote the sacraments in my home and I try.... I believe God loves me and will forgive my disobedient Catholic ways.
Now, my kids... they provide me grief in regards to mass... they truly dislike it. I do not blame them I remember being their age and sitting for an hour listening to a sermon that made no sense to me. Heck, even today there are times I do not know where the readings are going and how they are going to help me in my life. This is where not being a great Catholic falls... I let my kids whining determine my mass outings. Yep, if they are very determined not to go... I tend to agree. I truly do not feel God nor the Pope intended for Sundays to be the day I loathe my children all because of mass. Remember all of you Christians...you are not allowed to judge.
Now, Bill being as far away as he is, he is attending service weekly...maybe even daily. I get it, I understand the need to be closer to your faith when you are in an environment such as he. What I am fearful of, is that he will grow in his faith without us. I do not want him to return and look upon his family as a bunch of heathens. I guess mean mom is going to enforce mass now. I am hopeful that I will attend twice a month and all holy days of obligation as set forth by my church. I point that out on here, hoping that it will guilt me into truly following through. I also believe I can sell my kids on 2x a month.... yes I negotiate a lot!!!!!!
Bill-
I hope you not only pray for your comrades, but for your family. You have seen our kids when we attempt mass without their blessings. I will now need your helmet and flak for my survival... do you think the church will look at me funny while I wear it to mass????
Lord grant me strength and Bill's DI voice. I am thinking that you may want to send reinforcements to help me.
I am a Catholic, I am not necessarily a great one, but I am Catholic. I believe in the holy trinity, I believe in God and I believe in my church. I do, however, have opinions that sometimes may put my faith in the church to question. I like to call myself a reformed Catholic... not sure they exist, but the term helps me deal with the Catholic guilt I get when I disagree with certain positions in the church. I will not share those differences, just pointing out that I have them. I also do not attend mass regularly, I know this is horrible.. pray for me now! I do, however, try very hard to raise my kids right by the church, I take them to mass when I can, I enroll my kids in religious education, I promote the sacraments in my home and I try.... I believe God loves me and will forgive my disobedient Catholic ways.
Now, my kids... they provide me grief in regards to mass... they truly dislike it. I do not blame them I remember being their age and sitting for an hour listening to a sermon that made no sense to me. Heck, even today there are times I do not know where the readings are going and how they are going to help me in my life. This is where not being a great Catholic falls... I let my kids whining determine my mass outings. Yep, if they are very determined not to go... I tend to agree. I truly do not feel God nor the Pope intended for Sundays to be the day I loathe my children all because of mass. Remember all of you Christians...you are not allowed to judge.
Now, Bill being as far away as he is, he is attending service weekly...maybe even daily. I get it, I understand the need to be closer to your faith when you are in an environment such as he. What I am fearful of, is that he will grow in his faith without us. I do not want him to return and look upon his family as a bunch of heathens. I guess mean mom is going to enforce mass now. I am hopeful that I will attend twice a month and all holy days of obligation as set forth by my church. I point that out on here, hoping that it will guilt me into truly following through. I also believe I can sell my kids on 2x a month.... yes I negotiate a lot!!!!!!
Bill-
I hope you not only pray for your comrades, but for your family. You have seen our kids when we attempt mass without their blessings. I will now need your helmet and flak for my survival... do you think the church will look at me funny while I wear it to mass????
Lord grant me strength and Bill's DI voice. I am thinking that you may want to send reinforcements to help me.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Signs on the fence........Day 334+
My life is getting busier and busier, hence my occasional days skipped blogging. Today was a typical Saturday with basketball, cheer and soccer. Originally I had seven games scheduled today... thank you god for the rain and that number dropped to four. I can do four and remain sane. I am pushing insanity with seven. The kids are currently dual sporting it, which I hate. I can not wait for basketball season to end, not because I do not enjoy watching the kids play, but because that means I only have to focus transportation for one sport per kid.
I only tell you about my day today becasuse my conversation with a fellow Marine wife at basketball brings up my mixed emotions. Here they come.
In my bubble, I do not follow any Marine movements other than my own Marine. I am not that wife that knows who/what battalion (BN) is going where and when. I do not know whom is stateside nor in combat. I know where Bill is and that is enough for me. From my friendships, I hear about who is home and who is away, but it is not knowledge I seek out nor keep track of. It is topics of conversation when we share information about our husbands. So if you ask me if 3/6 is home.. my answer is yes. I know this because I have a friend whose husband is with that BN and well he is home. ( ok... I did have to make sure that was the BN ...via the web). So you now see how lacking I am with military knowledge.
That being said, I had noticed over the last week that signs were being draped along the fences on HWY 24. These are 6ft high chain link fences surrounding the military base. These fences are meant to cordon off military land from foot traffic, but most importantly they are the wall to which all of us have hung a welcome home banner on. The fence becomes a beacon welcoming home troops from a job well done. It is also a reminder that it is not my Marine.. he just left. These are being hung for those he has replaced, by wives and families celebrating the return of a loved one. They are also reminders that some did not come home. The banners of welcome bring mixed emotions, joy for those returning, sorrow for those whom did not and sadness for those still waiting. I must be honest and say, I have felt all these emotions each day as I drive the highway. I have tried to ignore the signs a bit, these emotions truly press in on my bubble. My bubble holds strong and I know why... I am proud when I see these signs. These signs signify love, honor, courage and success. They make my heart skip, pride is powerful. Thank you Marines for a job well done, thank you for preparing my husbands area and providing him with a safer environment. Thank you families for supporting them and showing me that our pride is powerful and that, yes I can do this.
WELCOME HOME 2/9 and RCT2.... enjoy your families, laugh loudly and live!!! Celebrate not only for yourself but for those that did not return. They died a hero and you are their legacy!
Bill- The pride I have for you and your fellow Marines is overwhelming. Now I know you must come home. I truly think I will enjoy making an inappropriate sign for the fence. I know I will have fun thinking of something to say and well.. I think tacky and big should do the trick.... I only have 11 months to work on it... Betsy Ross has seen nothing!!!
I think if you would prefer to remain a one sign man... you might want to prove to me that you own a helmet and flak!!
I only tell you about my day today becasuse my conversation with a fellow Marine wife at basketball brings up my mixed emotions. Here they come.
In my bubble, I do not follow any Marine movements other than my own Marine. I am not that wife that knows who/what battalion (BN) is going where and when. I do not know whom is stateside nor in combat. I know where Bill is and that is enough for me. From my friendships, I hear about who is home and who is away, but it is not knowledge I seek out nor keep track of. It is topics of conversation when we share information about our husbands. So if you ask me if 3/6 is home.. my answer is yes. I know this because I have a friend whose husband is with that BN and well he is home. ( ok... I did have to make sure that was the BN ...via the web). So you now see how lacking I am with military knowledge.
That being said, I had noticed over the last week that signs were being draped along the fences on HWY 24. These are 6ft high chain link fences surrounding the military base. These fences are meant to cordon off military land from foot traffic, but most importantly they are the wall to which all of us have hung a welcome home banner on. The fence becomes a beacon welcoming home troops from a job well done. It is also a reminder that it is not my Marine.. he just left. These are being hung for those he has replaced, by wives and families celebrating the return of a loved one. They are also reminders that some did not come home. The banners of welcome bring mixed emotions, joy for those returning, sorrow for those whom did not and sadness for those still waiting. I must be honest and say, I have felt all these emotions each day as I drive the highway. I have tried to ignore the signs a bit, these emotions truly press in on my bubble. My bubble holds strong and I know why... I am proud when I see these signs. These signs signify love, honor, courage and success. They make my heart skip, pride is powerful. Thank you Marines for a job well done, thank you for preparing my husbands area and providing him with a safer environment. Thank you families for supporting them and showing me that our pride is powerful and that, yes I can do this.
WELCOME HOME 2/9 and RCT2.... enjoy your families, laugh loudly and live!!! Celebrate not only for yourself but for those that did not return. They died a hero and you are their legacy!
Bill- The pride I have for you and your fellow Marines is overwhelming. Now I know you must come home. I truly think I will enjoy making an inappropriate sign for the fence. I know I will have fun thinking of something to say and well.. I think tacky and big should do the trick.... I only have 11 months to work on it... Betsy Ross has seen nothing!!!
I think if you would prefer to remain a one sign man... you might want to prove to me that you own a helmet and flak!!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Protection of our Military member.....Day 336 +
You know you all do it, each and every one of us are guilty of saying a lie or a fib or a half truth to protect our loved one. When they are overseas in harms way, we lie... yep we lie to our men. We do it to protect them. These are not big fat lies, but they are lies none the less. We tell half truths about ourselves to our spouse. When they call and ask how we are doing, we answer that we are doing well. We could have just pulled out our hair and cried all night long from the sorrow involved with separation, but we say we are doing well. When they ask how the kids are, we reply "oh great, they are doing good in school, they are behaving".... yep we lie!!! We leave out anything that we seem unhappy or sad or worrisome. We do not want our men to focus on us, but to focus on themselves so they return safe. We paint a picture so that they do not worry nor feel guilty for leaving. WE LIE, WE LIE, WE LIE.
I lied.... yep I did.... I feel no remorse for this half truth, it will benefit my husband. I will tell him about my lie later, when he is home... or I will forget what the lie is... ..ok he will find out now that I have blogged about it, but hey I never said we did not get busted for our lies. I am only pointing out that we stay true to our marriages, true to ourselves, but.....we tell little lies. I will tell Bill I am doing great and that all is well... I will tell him I have a cold when I actually have pneumonia...(no honey I do not have pneumonia, I am just expressing what I mean about half truths). I might tell him the kids are doing well, when in reality they remain wetting the bed and crying about simple daily events. I say goodbye to him on the phone call in my happy voice, when I know as soon as he hangs up.. I will be crying because I miss him so.
I run interference for my husband. I prefer to be the bearer of bad news should it need to be delivered. I may wait a week if I can, based on what he may be doing at the time. If I believe he is in harms way and executing a maneuver, the bad news will wait.
Here is the disclaimer.... Bill knows me and knows me well. He knows that I will down play some things and that others I am unable to hold back. Bill knows... he just does. He knows this half truth/lie of protection I weave. This is the game we play, it works for us.... heck I still think he is in RI somewhere.
He also knows that if there is something of grave importance, I will not wait nor will I lie... he is part of this family and will notified immediately. (Remember he is my rock and I truly need his input on many items of my life).
Bill--
Should you want me to pass on any more important Sablan briefings to you... wear your flak and your helmet!!! CINC of Sablan House is about to revoke your clearance!
I lied.... yep I did.... I feel no remorse for this half truth, it will benefit my husband. I will tell him about my lie later, when he is home... or I will forget what the lie is... ..ok he will find out now that I have blogged about it, but hey I never said we did not get busted for our lies. I am only pointing out that we stay true to our marriages, true to ourselves, but.....we tell little lies. I will tell Bill I am doing great and that all is well... I will tell him I have a cold when I actually have pneumonia...(no honey I do not have pneumonia, I am just expressing what I mean about half truths). I might tell him the kids are doing well, when in reality they remain wetting the bed and crying about simple daily events. I say goodbye to him on the phone call in my happy voice, when I know as soon as he hangs up.. I will be crying because I miss him so.
I run interference for my husband. I prefer to be the bearer of bad news should it need to be delivered. I may wait a week if I can, based on what he may be doing at the time. If I believe he is in harms way and executing a maneuver, the bad news will wait.
Here is the disclaimer.... Bill knows me and knows me well. He knows that I will down play some things and that others I am unable to hold back. Bill knows... he just does. He knows this half truth/lie of protection I weave. This is the game we play, it works for us.... heck I still think he is in RI somewhere.
He also knows that if there is something of grave importance, I will not wait nor will I lie... he is part of this family and will notified immediately. (Remember he is my rock and I truly need his input on many items of my life).
Bill--
Should you want me to pass on any more important Sablan briefings to you... wear your flak and your helmet!!! CINC of Sablan House is about to revoke your clearance!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
The donut fairy!!! Day 337 +
WOW.... my day started with the Donut Fairy arriving.. I love the donut fairy and I think I have found a new friend... Thank you so very much Jill!! One must realize that is truly is the small things in life that make your day, make you smile and make you feel loved. Today, a new friend showed up at my door with the gift of Dunkin Donuts. She said she had been reading the blog and thought of me, thought I could use something. WOW!! What an amazing little thought that truly made my day. I do believe that if I had I known donuts would come to the door, I would have started this blogging much sooner! :)
I say a new friend, because I have only had the opportunity to chat with this spouse on the sideline of a soccer game, at a social event at the club, and possibly at the school. I truly would have told people that I know her, but would not be able to call her friend. You see, that is what makes my life as a military spouse so wonderful. I am surrounded by amazing women that think not of themselves but of the other spouses. She has been following my blog and felt compelled to show me support in the form of a donut.... she truly does know me well! There was not a long friendship or years of knowing one another, she did this because she is one of us. She understands the trials we go through and she made the largest gesture toward me, one I will truly not forget. I will be indebted to her for some time. I am not sure she understands how grateful I was to see her this morning. Thank you again and bless you for caring. I will try my best to return this gesture to another when her time of need occurs. We all know how hard it is to find a friend we feel comfortable enough to share our secrets with. It is hard enough to do when you live in one place let alone when you must do so every few years. Saying goodbye to friends is hard, but finding new ones is truly the hardest.
We have all read the poem of a friend for a season, reason or lifetime. I will share below. I do not know the author. It seems fitting to post it today. Thank you Jill..thank you for being a friend. I would love for it to be for a lifetime, regardless of which, I am elated that I can call you a FRIEND!
Reason, Season, or Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
— Unknown
Bill- I know I tell you to wear your flak and helmet... seriously, telling me you just got your sappy(? not really sure if that is the term or spelling) plate...today!!! Unacceptable.. I think you better make friends like I have, mine care enough to bring me donuts...maybe yours can care enough to make sure you have all your gear!
I say a new friend, because I have only had the opportunity to chat with this spouse on the sideline of a soccer game, at a social event at the club, and possibly at the school. I truly would have told people that I know her, but would not be able to call her friend. You see, that is what makes my life as a military spouse so wonderful. I am surrounded by amazing women that think not of themselves but of the other spouses. She has been following my blog and felt compelled to show me support in the form of a donut.... she truly does know me well! There was not a long friendship or years of knowing one another, she did this because she is one of us. She understands the trials we go through and she made the largest gesture toward me, one I will truly not forget. I will be indebted to her for some time. I am not sure she understands how grateful I was to see her this morning. Thank you again and bless you for caring. I will try my best to return this gesture to another when her time of need occurs. We all know how hard it is to find a friend we feel comfortable enough to share our secrets with. It is hard enough to do when you live in one place let alone when you must do so every few years. Saying goodbye to friends is hard, but finding new ones is truly the hardest.
We have all read the poem of a friend for a season, reason or lifetime. I will share below. I do not know the author. It seems fitting to post it today. Thank you Jill..thank you for being a friend. I would love for it to be for a lifetime, regardless of which, I am elated that I can call you a FRIEND!
Reason, Season, or Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
— Unknown
Bill- I know I tell you to wear your flak and helmet... seriously, telling me you just got your sappy(? not really sure if that is the term or spelling) plate...today!!! Unacceptable.. I think you better make friends like I have, mine care enough to bring me donuts...maybe yours can care enough to make sure you have all your gear!
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Mom vs Kids and phase two is here!!!! Day 338+
Yea.... it has arrived. Phase two is starting... this would be the phase of acceptance emotionally, physically and spiritually. I am now ready to get up and run with my duties. I am prepared to be busy, busy all the time and endure late nights with early mornings. I am ready to clean, cook, plant, but best of all cope. I am ready to be the mean mom.... no more letting things slide as the kids cope with Dad being gone.. Mrs. Nice Guy, has left the building. My kids found this out this morning as I started to implement new rules in the home. Ok, not new but rules that I have let them slide on because of mommy guilt. That darn guilt lasted a whole month!!! My kids got extra game time, less chore work, more friends over, and later bedtimes. That is gone...the abuse I have endured by them is over. I am now mentally and emotionally strong enough to win the battle of the minds. They will now have to assist in the maintenance of the home, this is not new, but boy have they been lacking here. I am done cleaning all the bathrooms...hello I have 3 boys!!! They are not the most accurate of people. I am going to call a family meeting and the chore chart is coming out. This mom is done, done being the maid and the cook.... I have been enslaved by them long enough. It is time for me to be that kept wife I dreamt about. Using your kids as slaves is legal right??????
This all started after skyping this morning with Bill when I noticed I could not see the dining table over the crafts, computers and books. I saw the trash bag I took out of the trashcan still sitting on the floor. I took it out thinking that surely my kids would see the big white bag and remove it. Nope, that 5 ft to the back door must have been heavily guarded. The clean dishes that were washed were still sitting on the counter, hmmm that was 3 days ago. Yep skyping with Dad was the tell all. I could see it in his face that he was looking about quite strangely. He was looking at a mess of a home. He is surely concerned for our well being and this is what he sees. Time for the kids to complete the chores, obviously the cursing was not as effective as I thought. You see, it would be easy for me to have done the above tasks, but they are my kids chores. Remember, Bill left his cammies out when he left and I am not putting them away.. for a whole year because ....it is not my chore!!! I can win at this stale mate my kids think they have me in. I am the MOM!!!!!
I will fill you in on how well my mom/kid battle goes. I will be strong here, I will not give in!!!!!
Bill- We all have our battles to deal with, yours is on foreign soil with bad guys. Mine, is on the home front against our kids. Maybe you should send me your flak and helmet..I have yet to see you use it and I am thinking I might need it!!!!
This all started after skyping this morning with Bill when I noticed I could not see the dining table over the crafts, computers and books. I saw the trash bag I took out of the trashcan still sitting on the floor. I took it out thinking that surely my kids would see the big white bag and remove it. Nope, that 5 ft to the back door must have been heavily guarded. The clean dishes that were washed were still sitting on the counter, hmmm that was 3 days ago. Yep skyping with Dad was the tell all. I could see it in his face that he was looking about quite strangely. He was looking at a mess of a home. He is surely concerned for our well being and this is what he sees. Time for the kids to complete the chores, obviously the cursing was not as effective as I thought. You see, it would be easy for me to have done the above tasks, but they are my kids chores. Remember, Bill left his cammies out when he left and I am not putting them away.. for a whole year because ....it is not my chore!!! I can win at this stale mate my kids think they have me in. I am the MOM!!!!!
I will fill you in on how well my mom/kid battle goes. I will be strong here, I will not give in!!!!!
Bill- We all have our battles to deal with, yours is on foreign soil with bad guys. Mine, is on the home front against our kids. Maybe you should send me your flak and helmet..I have yet to see you use it and I am thinking I might need it!!!!
Monday, February 7, 2011
Rock bottom... must be time to move on Day 339+
So here I sit Monday morning fighting a horrible cold that I am sure I caught while sitting in freezing rain for 4 hours on Saturday watching my son Sam play soccer. He is sick too, courtesy of the weekend and is home in bed. I am feeding my cold with large amounts of very hot coffee.. Now onto my moving on and rock bottom.
Lack of sleep I obtained over the weekend is what I am blaming for my meeting with rock bottom. I know I posted on the multiple personalities that show up during a deployment..I forgot one or two..Bitchy Barb and Barb Villa. Bitchy Barb is just what her name claims to be, it is not Wendy.. no whining by her, but full on BITCH. Barb Villa is the handyman that you must become in order to take care of things. You remember my dishwasher issue right???? I am just throwing in Barb Villa so when I mention her later as the months go on, you will know whom I am addressing.
Back to my rock bottom. Rock bottom happens at the end of the phase one, when you are ready to accept life alone (for a deployment) and all that it throws at you. It is where you get thrown so you can climb out and know you made it. This is where you have to go in order to say you survived, so you can feel accomplished about doing the job of a single parent all the while protecting your kids from the seriousness of war. I have to get to rock bottom emotionally before I can move forward with a deployment. I have to go there before I can mail my package. I have to know that I was able to stand on my own two feet without the support of Bill. For those of you that do not know this, Bill is my rock, he makes me sane, he makes me whole, he makes me ME. I truly am not the better person without him. I need him like I need food and water and air to breathe. So you see, my rock bottom is pretty bad...it involves crying...which I hate and never admit to doing. It involves my mind spinning and my body aching..aching so much for my need is great and Bill is unavailable for me. That day happened for me on Sunday. I felt it coming on, I knew I was exhausted with my weekend schedule and I had no way of stopping it from coming. I knew that all my girls were going to collide.... Nelly, Wendy, Annie and Barb were going to show up and throw a party inside my head.
I was truly missing my husband, I had not talked to Bill in about a week..ok so it felt like a week. Remember, he is my rock and the air I breathe.. Bill withdrawal is BAD!!!!!
The damn soccer coach was the catalyst.. he yelled at me....WTF!!! (that is what I said). Yep, he is not a likeable man and I do not enjoy him nor does my son, I am still trying to wrap my head around this ass....best I can do is remove him from my world...POOF..he is gone... I will not talk to him nor respond to him. This I can do.
So there I am at a soccer game which I truly enjoy watching...crying silently in my chair. Not a single parent on this team knew nor cared. Fine by me, I do not cry in public...I hate crying and I truly hate those that make me cry. Game ended..a tie, and I took the boys to the car for lunch...I am that good that they had no idea how upset I was. I made a phone call to a friend whom I feel safe enough to share these warped feelings with and one I can cry to....(only a few are that close to me)
Here it goes, I am bearing my soul via blog..... ugh!!! I promised myself I would.
Anyway, what it boils down to is this. I miss Bill, I miss him to my core and when I was hurt by this man, Bill was not here to say what I needed to hear...usually "suck it up , you deserved it." Yes, I know harsh..but coming from Bill it never is. My support, my crutch, my rock was MIA. I miss my best friend, I miss talking to him, I miss holding his hand, I miss hugging him, I miss him......:(
This is where you think, but you have great friends and neighbors and so many other wives to talk with.... I am a bit private when it comes to anything regarding weak emotions ( yes this is my view of crying). I am stoic. I am not one to share feelings that upset me until I can share them without becoming upset by them. I like crying to be done in private. My friend Kandi can appreciate that!
That being said, I have great neighbors, I do. I have great friends, but they are not Bill. I am surrounded by people and yet so very lonely right now. I need my husband. I pray for his return. I know he is safe. I know that this unfortunate crying episode of rock bottom emotions...will make me strong enough to survive this deployment. I know that Barb....will be around for awhile so watch out world. She is going to hang out and be my body guard. She is building my wall that will protect me form these feelings and I will be able to mail my package this week. THANK YOU BARB!!! Glad she won at the party in my head. I can deal with her...I understand Bitchy.
Bill- now that you know Barb is visiting, maybe you ought to send me some pics of you in protective gear. I would hate to see her purchase a ticket to Kabul just so she can whip your ass. Beware....beware... you have been warned!
Lack of sleep I obtained over the weekend is what I am blaming for my meeting with rock bottom. I know I posted on the multiple personalities that show up during a deployment..I forgot one or two..Bitchy Barb and Barb Villa. Bitchy Barb is just what her name claims to be, it is not Wendy.. no whining by her, but full on BITCH. Barb Villa is the handyman that you must become in order to take care of things. You remember my dishwasher issue right???? I am just throwing in Barb Villa so when I mention her later as the months go on, you will know whom I am addressing.
Back to my rock bottom. Rock bottom happens at the end of the phase one, when you are ready to accept life alone (for a deployment) and all that it throws at you. It is where you get thrown so you can climb out and know you made it. This is where you have to go in order to say you survived, so you can feel accomplished about doing the job of a single parent all the while protecting your kids from the seriousness of war. I have to get to rock bottom emotionally before I can move forward with a deployment. I have to go there before I can mail my package. I have to know that I was able to stand on my own two feet without the support of Bill. For those of you that do not know this, Bill is my rock, he makes me sane, he makes me whole, he makes me ME. I truly am not the better person without him. I need him like I need food and water and air to breathe. So you see, my rock bottom is pretty bad...it involves crying...which I hate and never admit to doing. It involves my mind spinning and my body aching..aching so much for my need is great and Bill is unavailable for me. That day happened for me on Sunday. I felt it coming on, I knew I was exhausted with my weekend schedule and I had no way of stopping it from coming. I knew that all my girls were going to collide.... Nelly, Wendy, Annie and Barb were going to show up and throw a party inside my head.
I was truly missing my husband, I had not talked to Bill in about a week..ok so it felt like a week. Remember, he is my rock and the air I breathe.. Bill withdrawal is BAD!!!!!
The damn soccer coach was the catalyst.. he yelled at me....WTF!!! (that is what I said). Yep, he is not a likeable man and I do not enjoy him nor does my son, I am still trying to wrap my head around this ass....best I can do is remove him from my world...POOF..he is gone... I will not talk to him nor respond to him. This I can do.
So there I am at a soccer game which I truly enjoy watching...crying silently in my chair. Not a single parent on this team knew nor cared. Fine by me, I do not cry in public...I hate crying and I truly hate those that make me cry. Game ended..a tie, and I took the boys to the car for lunch...I am that good that they had no idea how upset I was. I made a phone call to a friend whom I feel safe enough to share these warped feelings with and one I can cry to....(only a few are that close to me)
Here it goes, I am bearing my soul via blog..... ugh!!! I promised myself I would.
Anyway, what it boils down to is this. I miss Bill, I miss him to my core and when I was hurt by this man, Bill was not here to say what I needed to hear...usually "suck it up , you deserved it." Yes, I know harsh..but coming from Bill it never is. My support, my crutch, my rock was MIA. I miss my best friend, I miss talking to him, I miss holding his hand, I miss hugging him, I miss him......:(
This is where you think, but you have great friends and neighbors and so many other wives to talk with.... I am a bit private when it comes to anything regarding weak emotions ( yes this is my view of crying). I am stoic. I am not one to share feelings that upset me until I can share them without becoming upset by them. I like crying to be done in private. My friend Kandi can appreciate that!
That being said, I have great neighbors, I do. I have great friends, but they are not Bill. I am surrounded by people and yet so very lonely right now. I need my husband. I pray for his return. I know he is safe. I know that this unfortunate crying episode of rock bottom emotions...will make me strong enough to survive this deployment. I know that Barb....will be around for awhile so watch out world. She is going to hang out and be my body guard. She is building my wall that will protect me form these feelings and I will be able to mail my package this week. THANK YOU BARB!!! Glad she won at the party in my head. I can deal with her...I understand Bitchy.
Bill- now that you know Barb is visiting, maybe you ought to send me some pics of you in protective gear. I would hate to see her purchase a ticket to Kabul just so she can whip your ass. Beware....beware... you have been warned!
Friday, February 4, 2011
Who am I today?????......Day 342+
Over the past couple of days and even week I have noticed one thing around here. A lot of the husbands are gone and the rest are busy doing workups to leave. The atmosphere is changing and it is becoming very estrogen charged. The men that remain, are slowly making themselves scarce when us women come around. I know that we are not the plague...but I get it. There are times that I do not want to hear what the others are saying or deal with who shows up ( you will understand that comment in a second..keep reading). Not a single one of us can say we are not changed in some way or other. That we do not act slightly different, we all do. It is called coping and all of us deal with OUR husbands deployment differently. This is when I think we show our multiple personalities.. I have named them all... (I am sane, I truly am, but I did notice these traits pretty quickly in all of us)
Some are Strong Sally, some are Wendy Whiner, some are Nervous Nelly, some are Anxious Annie and some are Bottle Betty to name only a few. For the most part I believe that each of us visit one of these personalities along our journey of military separation. I know I was a Sally at the farewell, I had to be for my kids. I had to be strong and not break into an emotional spiral. At night when my house is quiet, I am a Nelly. I swear I heard someone in my attic last evening moving chairs around. To say the least, I did not get much sleep as I envisioned some crazy person pushing down my attic stairs and saying hello to me. I am aware at how ridiculous it sounds, but Bill is not near me to say "honey, it is just the cat running on the stairs". This is when Wendy showed up and I truly wanted to cry about missing my old neighbor and dear friend Shelley...ok and her big dogs. She would come to my home with her big dogs when Nelly appeared to scare away the boogey man that the military told me about. After Nelly leaves, her twin sister Annie arrives almost immediately.... lack of sleep makes all of us anxious. Anxiety of life comes in the early mornings, when you realize another day has started and you made it through another day. You are still waiting for that shoe to drop, for that knock at the door, but you made it one more day. Anxious Annie is an ugly creature. Next to show up is Betty... she will help calm and relax you, she will take your mind off all the worries. I prefer a Betty that hails from russia and can be either white or black, makes no difference to me. Betty likes company so usually this is when you surround yourself with your neighbor friends. I am not saying any or all of these women show up nightly, but they do show up many times during the deployment. Some I would love to slam the door on.and some I greet with a smile.
No straight jacket required... I am mentally capable, but I thought you all might like to see into the mind of CRAZY!!!! You understand my bubble now don't you???
Bill-
I expect to see helmet and flak soon, I am not sure how long I can keep Nelly or Annie at bay and we all know that her friends come soon after!!!
No jokes required about all the women in your life!!! LOL
Some are Strong Sally, some are Wendy Whiner, some are Nervous Nelly, some are Anxious Annie and some are Bottle Betty to name only a few. For the most part I believe that each of us visit one of these personalities along our journey of military separation. I know I was a Sally at the farewell, I had to be for my kids. I had to be strong and not break into an emotional spiral. At night when my house is quiet, I am a Nelly. I swear I heard someone in my attic last evening moving chairs around. To say the least, I did not get much sleep as I envisioned some crazy person pushing down my attic stairs and saying hello to me. I am aware at how ridiculous it sounds, but Bill is not near me to say "honey, it is just the cat running on the stairs". This is when Wendy showed up and I truly wanted to cry about missing my old neighbor and dear friend Shelley...ok and her big dogs. She would come to my home with her big dogs when Nelly appeared to scare away the boogey man that the military told me about. After Nelly leaves, her twin sister Annie arrives almost immediately.... lack of sleep makes all of us anxious. Anxiety of life comes in the early mornings, when you realize another day has started and you made it through another day. You are still waiting for that shoe to drop, for that knock at the door, but you made it one more day. Anxious Annie is an ugly creature. Next to show up is Betty... she will help calm and relax you, she will take your mind off all the worries. I prefer a Betty that hails from russia and can be either white or black, makes no difference to me. Betty likes company so usually this is when you surround yourself with your neighbor friends. I am not saying any or all of these women show up nightly, but they do show up many times during the deployment. Some I would love to slam the door on.and some I greet with a smile.
No straight jacket required... I am mentally capable, but I thought you all might like to see into the mind of CRAZY!!!! You understand my bubble now don't you???
Bill-
I expect to see helmet and flak soon, I am not sure how long I can keep Nelly or Annie at bay and we all know that her friends come soon after!!!
No jokes required about all the women in your life!!! LOL
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Am I ready to send a care package?? Day 343+
Phase one for me is almost over, I can feel it. I can feel me coming to terms with being a single mom, to being alone at night with my thoughts, to the silence. I kinda felt it coming on at the two week mark, but did not want to jinx myself nor make Bill feel bad that it only took me two weeks to figure life out without him here. I am almost ready to actually send my first package. Yes, I know several of you are great at sending things, me not so much. My family and close friends know this about me and know that just getting a card...is a huge feat! I did purchase items for Bill, I even got boxes from the post office. I have the box filled, not taped up yet, but filled. I see my neighbors going to the post office with their boxes and their husbands just left last week. Guilt is starting to set in about my lack of postal love. It isn't just the guilt, it is the final acceptance that Bill is gone for awhile. When I send the package that is it. I will have come to terms with it being a deployment and not just an exercise that he will be coming home from soon. The package is the final event for phase one....(for me). When I mail out the package, I will be sad, I will be hurt, I will be angry, I will accept.
The term of going postal...I doubt started with a disgruntled worker but with a military spouse having to send a package. You see, our post office is very SLOW. As a matter of fact, I think every post office I have been to is slow, regardless of location. When we go into the post office with our boxes... yes the flat rate boxes are not quite big enough for everything we want to send so we have multiple packages. We are trying to carry our packages, hold onto kids, open a door, and not drop our custom forms. We stand in a line at least ten people deep (our post office is crazy busy). We try and be patient as we watch military men (not usually a spouse), who have no clue how to ship nor pack a box, ask a hundred questions at the counter just to be turned away while they unscrew what they thought they could ship. We see all kinds of things being packaged in the post office. My favorite thing to see is a person shoving so much in a box they break it at the seams and then they look around for the magical tape fairy. You know the one..the one that appears to give you box tape seeing as how you did not think you might need it . Do you think we really have the time to watch you pkg items let alone allow you to cut back in line because the tape fairy didn't show and you now need the postmasters tape. Move aside and ask a friend for help while at home. Do not bring stupid to the post office. It makes us spouses cranky!! I know all of you are going to share with my friends what you have seen and endured at the post office. You see..going postal is not a workers issue but a spouse just trying to send a package to confirm the end of phase one in the deployment. We just want to move on and accept life as it is and you ( not nice name) are holding up the line.
Bill-
You are going to love my care package.. I know it... I have yet to get it out of the house... it will soon... I hope!!! In the mean time, several friends have called asking for your address. I am sure their stuff will arrive before mine...hopefully it will tide you over. I am a wee bit busy with the kids and all that they do.... yes I am making up an excuse. You keep doing so in regards to your helmet and flak!!! When you stop I will too. Maybe the package will be held hostage until I get proof of your proper attire!!!
The term of going postal...I doubt started with a disgruntled worker but with a military spouse having to send a package. You see, our post office is very SLOW. As a matter of fact, I think every post office I have been to is slow, regardless of location. When we go into the post office with our boxes... yes the flat rate boxes are not quite big enough for everything we want to send so we have multiple packages. We are trying to carry our packages, hold onto kids, open a door, and not drop our custom forms. We stand in a line at least ten people deep (our post office is crazy busy). We try and be patient as we watch military men (not usually a spouse), who have no clue how to ship nor pack a box, ask a hundred questions at the counter just to be turned away while they unscrew what they thought they could ship. We see all kinds of things being packaged in the post office. My favorite thing to see is a person shoving so much in a box they break it at the seams and then they look around for the magical tape fairy. You know the one..the one that appears to give you box tape seeing as how you did not think you might need it . Do you think we really have the time to watch you pkg items let alone allow you to cut back in line because the tape fairy didn't show and you now need the postmasters tape. Move aside and ask a friend for help while at home. Do not bring stupid to the post office. It makes us spouses cranky!! I know all of you are going to share with my friends what you have seen and endured at the post office. You see..going postal is not a workers issue but a spouse just trying to send a package to confirm the end of phase one in the deployment. We just want to move on and accept life as it is and you ( not nice name) are holding up the line.
Bill-
You are going to love my care package.. I know it... I have yet to get it out of the house... it will soon... I hope!!! In the mean time, several friends have called asking for your address. I am sure their stuff will arrive before mine...hopefully it will tide you over. I am a wee bit busy with the kids and all that they do.... yes I am making up an excuse. You keep doing so in regards to your helmet and flak!!! When you stop I will too. Maybe the package will be held hostage until I get proof of your proper attire!!!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Happy Birthday to my Daughter.. Day 344+
Today is Cami's 7th Birthday. It doesn't seem possible, that seven years ago Bill and I were at Naval Hospital Camp Lejeune holding our baby girl. Time has truly flown by and I have enjoyed watching my daughter grow up. There are days she tests me to the core, but more often than not she shows me pure love. She is our sunshine.
The morning started out with me cooking her breakfast .... yes I cooked scrambled eggs, sausage and hash browns... every item was done via microwave... I am a chef!!! For those of you that know me, you know that I do not like mornings and therefore I do not cook breakfast. Breakfast is the meal Bill does. He is great at it, but seeing as how he is not here, I had to step up. This truly was a huge feat for me. Bill called at 7am and sang Happy Birthday to Cami. She was all smiles for today was her day and Daddy started it our for her.
I volunteer at Cami's school one day a week and wouldn't you know it...today was my day. I got to see her classmates sing to her. I brought in drinks and cupcakes to share. This evening I cooked again.... chicken and dumplings and this time I used the stove! It was her request and I aim to please. We are heading to cheer practice in a bit and bringing treats for her friends there. Today is about her and I think she is soaking up all of the love. Sundaes will be made later when Sal gets home and we will sing to her again before she goes to bed.
I am making a point for her to feel special...today on her 7th birthday she does not get to hug her daddy.... so I am making sure she does not notice. I know Bill would prefer to be here, but knowing that there is a possibility that he might miss 2 birthdays of hers....well then I will suffer through a day of cooking, of singing 4x, of hugging til she wants no more. Truly..it is not suffering at all. I love my daughter and will give her the world!!!!!
Bill-
You made your daughters day with a simple phone call and a song. You amaze me and trust me...Cami felt your love across the oceans...(there is an ocean between us right?)
Show her how much you love her.....put on your helmet and your flak... if not for me than do it for her!!!!!
Awaiting pics!!
The morning started out with me cooking her breakfast .... yes I cooked scrambled eggs, sausage and hash browns... every item was done via microwave... I am a chef!!! For those of you that know me, you know that I do not like mornings and therefore I do not cook breakfast. Breakfast is the meal Bill does. He is great at it, but seeing as how he is not here, I had to step up. This truly was a huge feat for me. Bill called at 7am and sang Happy Birthday to Cami. She was all smiles for today was her day and Daddy started it our for her.
I volunteer at Cami's school one day a week and wouldn't you know it...today was my day. I got to see her classmates sing to her. I brought in drinks and cupcakes to share. This evening I cooked again.... chicken and dumplings and this time I used the stove! It was her request and I aim to please. We are heading to cheer practice in a bit and bringing treats for her friends there. Today is about her and I think she is soaking up all of the love. Sundaes will be made later when Sal gets home and we will sing to her again before she goes to bed.
I am making a point for her to feel special...today on her 7th birthday she does not get to hug her daddy.... so I am making sure she does not notice. I know Bill would prefer to be here, but knowing that there is a possibility that he might miss 2 birthdays of hers....well then I will suffer through a day of cooking, of singing 4x, of hugging til she wants no more. Truly..it is not suffering at all. I love my daughter and will give her the world!!!!!
Bill-
You made your daughters day with a simple phone call and a song. You amaze me and trust me...Cami felt your love across the oceans...(there is an ocean between us right?)
Show her how much you love her.....put on your helmet and your flak... if not for me than do it for her!!!!!
Awaiting pics!!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Trying to remember and act upon 10-10-10.......Day 345+
I sit here tonight trying to think of something witty, something funny, something interesting. I am just blank! That is when I realized that over the weekend I forgot about a decision making tool I heard about a couple years back. It is referenced in a book called 10-10-10 by Suzy Welch. I heard her speaking during a talk show and her concept seemed so right. I have not read this book and now realize, maybe I should ( I hate self help books...prefer trashy romance). I have used her basic concept as a parenting tool as well as a life tool.
This is the gist of it; Is what you are doing going to matter in 10 minutes? In 10 months? In 10 years? I first used it as a tool for my oldest son when he was angry last year about everything. I would ask him those three questions and make him tell me how old he would be in 10 years and what he saw himself doing and whether what he was so mad about would truly matter then. This was also a very helpful tool after his friend had committed suicide. He was able to see how the impact was so massive and if only she had thought of the 10's maybe, just maybe, the outcome would have been different. He was able to see himself at 23 finishing college and starting his life. I needed him to see that. I hoped he could and I believe this concept helped us navigate some sad times.
The main reason I bring this up today is ...Why am I not using it now during Bill's deployment? Is Bill leaving going to impact us for 10 minutes? YES. Is it going to impact us for 10 months? YES! Is it going to impact us in 10 years??? I cannot see into the future, but you know what I see. I see Bill home after this deployment and us being a family again and in 10 years when Sal is graduating college, Sam and Tony are off in college and Cami is graduating high school.. this year will just seem like a distant memory. A time when he was off doing what he had to do and the kids and I were at home doing our thing.
I am going to remind myself of this easy rule more often. I must, I no longer have my sounding board aka Bill on speed dial. Over the weekend I was edgy and easily irritated by others. I was truly impacted by what they said and how they acted..and why??? After 10 minutes, it was a moot point...okay maybe not, so I will sneak in another 10..I call it 10 days. I know after 10 days...that what transpired over the weekend will just be a distant echo. I sure hope so. I hope that the people that offended me figure life out or leave me the heck alone.
A neighbor had a great saying.... she said I was not edgy or irritable... my bullshit meter was just full!!!
With that, I hope I can live by 10-10-10 and maybe another 10.... because my meter has exploded and is not being fixed any time soon.
Bill-
Seeing as how my meter has busted, I expect to see proof of helmet and flak... did you bring them?? did you lose them?? did you loan them out??? I do not think I buy the BS that you are completely safe.... you see if that was the case..you would be home next to me :)
BTW--- Mister the very old cat ....yep still kicking!!! He looks forward to your return or his flight to come live in Afghanistan with you!!!!
This is the gist of it; Is what you are doing going to matter in 10 minutes? In 10 months? In 10 years? I first used it as a tool for my oldest son when he was angry last year about everything. I would ask him those three questions and make him tell me how old he would be in 10 years and what he saw himself doing and whether what he was so mad about would truly matter then. This was also a very helpful tool after his friend had committed suicide. He was able to see how the impact was so massive and if only she had thought of the 10's maybe, just maybe, the outcome would have been different. He was able to see himself at 23 finishing college and starting his life. I needed him to see that. I hoped he could and I believe this concept helped us navigate some sad times.
The main reason I bring this up today is ...Why am I not using it now during Bill's deployment? Is Bill leaving going to impact us for 10 minutes? YES. Is it going to impact us for 10 months? YES! Is it going to impact us in 10 years??? I cannot see into the future, but you know what I see. I see Bill home after this deployment and us being a family again and in 10 years when Sal is graduating college, Sam and Tony are off in college and Cami is graduating high school.. this year will just seem like a distant memory. A time when he was off doing what he had to do and the kids and I were at home doing our thing.
I am going to remind myself of this easy rule more often. I must, I no longer have my sounding board aka Bill on speed dial. Over the weekend I was edgy and easily irritated by others. I was truly impacted by what they said and how they acted..and why??? After 10 minutes, it was a moot point...okay maybe not, so I will sneak in another 10..I call it 10 days. I know after 10 days...that what transpired over the weekend will just be a distant echo. I sure hope so. I hope that the people that offended me figure life out or leave me the heck alone.
A neighbor had a great saying.... she said I was not edgy or irritable... my bullshit meter was just full!!!
With that, I hope I can live by 10-10-10 and maybe another 10.... because my meter has exploded and is not being fixed any time soon.
Bill-
Seeing as how my meter has busted, I expect to see proof of helmet and flak... did you bring them?? did you lose them?? did you loan them out??? I do not think I buy the BS that you are completely safe.... you see if that was the case..you would be home next to me :)
BTW--- Mister the very old cat ....yep still kicking!!! He looks forward to your return or his flight to come live in Afghanistan with you!!!!
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