A small affair..... Day 290+

I am having a love affair while Bill is gone.. do not be shocked... I know many of you have one too. Mine is with this black and silver gorgeous dutch man. I love the dutch!!! My man beacons me with a blue glow at times. He awaits for me to decide if I want small, medium or big..... get your minds out of the gutter!!! I am talking about my KEURIG coffee maker. This is one appliance that I will thank my husband for immensely when he returns home. Without this beautiful Dutch man, I would be coffee less. You see, making coffee using grounds and filling water daily and pouring from a pot.... that is to much manual labor for me. I was blessed with my newest love just before the holidays. My husband knows me so well. He knew making coffee in a pot was right up there with doing the laundry. A necessity of life but one I would love to refrain from. He knew that for me life without him and without  my warm luscious cup of coffee would send me over the edge. He knew that the beast within me would attack this home without at least one of my favorites in life being present. Thank you for being so kind Bill, you granted me peace and serenity in the form of an appliance...now lets just hope it lasts the whole deployment.


Bill- I am happy to hear you are getting my pkgs in the mail...you realize I have now sent two.. this is a big step for me. You know how I love the post office. I have items here getting ready to ship.. sorry but one is not a single cup Keurig machine... I am the jealous type.. I do not share!!! LOL
Keep the helmet and flak on at all times. Thanks for sharing the pics so I have proof and do not need to send the cat over. He is alive and well awaiting your return.

perspective........Day 291+

Today is Sunday, I sit and reflect while the kids are at Sunday school class. It is a time when the house is quiet and the coffee is hot. In these moments I think of just how lucky I am to have the life I do. I  am married to the most wonderful man and have four beautiful and amazing kids. Today, my eyes welled up not in sorrow but in joy. I am lucky and today was a good day to reflect. To think about all the positives in my life that outweigh the giant negative one.... you know the fact that Bill is not here right now. My negative today seemed pale in comparison to some... some wives and kids out there are not getting their husband or daddy back, their daddy and hubby has been placed in heaven. Today I remain thankful for my wonderful life and the going to pray that those who have lost their loved one find peace in their hearts.  I bring this sad fact up because on occasion I visit a caring bridge site of a dear friend and Tony's godfather. He passed away over 123 days ago.. I know this number because his wife counts up as I count down. I can only read her thoughts and pray... that she feels Joe in her heart. I know he loved her as immensely as I love Bill. I know that they were blessed to have what time God gave them. For you D---- I will celebrate each day I have with Bill and try to not complain about his absence. I will try but I also know that you know me well enough to laugh at that comment. You need to know that you inspire me daily and we love you.
Happy Birthday Joe Lucia... belated yes (March 7, 1968)... but I know that the rains today are you washing down the floors of heaven after one kick ass party!


Hug the ones you love and cherish every moment you share even if you share via phone and skype. They are still moments.

Bill- Keep safe... I need you home. I need you with me and the kids. There is no other option. That said... helmet and flak at all times.. who cares that it is over 88 degrees and you will be sweaty. Stinky may keep you safe!!!!!

the projects have commenced...............Day 294+

The phase two of deployment is running smoothly for me. I am on autopilot and I am cruising along. That is when I  got hit in the head by the the project nazi ... This is that insane little person that runs around in your head telling you that you should be completing something BIG!! After all,  your husband is far away working ungodly hours and you are doing what? Yep... this person showed up on Friday last week and has not left yet. If you are my friend and neighbor... you will come soon to help me squash him. I refer to this as a him, because a women would not ever find these things as fun!

Friday was a beautiful day and this should have tipped me off., some call it spring fever...  I call it battle of the project nazi. I had plants bought and digging to do. I told myself I was only going to dig in some bushes...that resulted in about 6 hours of full fledged replanting of pots and plants in my garden. I could not stop, the PN (project Nazi) was yelling for me to go on. I raked up all the pine needles in the front garden and am ready for mulch now. I planted over 3 flats of flowers, dug up 4 dead bushes, potted strawberries, and planted replacement bushes. Neighbors  showed up for happy hour and I entertained them with my raking and digging skills. How much fun am I? I was on a mission and it had to be completed. I know Bill is happy to be where he is.. he hates the PN too!
Fast forward to yesterday.... beautiful 80 degree weather, kids out of school early... great day to play!! Nope... the PN is still winning the battle in my head. I dig up 27 large stepping stones that have been in place for a good 15 years. I could not see several of them as they had dropped into the earth only to be claimed by my craziness. They are a good 20lbs each if not more... today they feel like 50 lbs each..my arms are screaming! I dig all these giant stones up and move them to the house and a patio is built. Yep all in one day... ok so the last row needs to be leveled out today. My mind is winning today because I do not hear the PN screaming at me to finish ..... I wonder if this will be left for Bill as a token of our need of him. I will take pics today and get them posted here so you can see the destruction..aka patio. Now, when you dig something up that is large, a hole is left behind. Yep, I am now the proud owner of dirt hole stepping stones. They line up all they way to my mailbox. I now not only need to level the patio, I need to go find a truckload of dirt to fill the holes in. I never said my PN was smart. I assume that the PN will return this afternoon and I will be driving Bill's truck to the dirt pile and yes...loading my own dirt into the truck and then unloading at the house. The weather man just said rain is on its way... I am not looking forward to small swimming pools in my backyard for the kids to play in. The PN is coming.. I hear him running in my head and screaming at me now!!!!!!!!!!!

 patio almost done.... last 2 rows getting worked on leveling.. but I was done for the day

 holes where stones once were

patio as I started laying the stones

 pic of the dead bushes I dug up

 one of the 3 window boxes I did

Bill,
Be sure to come home... your R&R dates may not be soon enough.. your home is under attack the PN is here and wielding a full assault on my head! Lord help me and your children... you know he will soon have his hand on them to participate in this fun!
Bring your helmet and your shovel.... one too wear and one to hit me over the head with!
Stay safe and stay strong.... come home soon. Crazy is running around here now.

Day 296+...woohooo

Ok seeing as how I had a girls night out on Saturday mixed in with some great logistics on kid placement and such....I was too busy to blog... my life was actually moving very fast the last couple of days and now I have dropped below 300 days!!!!!  WOOHOO!!! I will count this as a blessing. Over 65 days have passed and I am not in a straight jacket, my kids are healthy (knock on wood), no major appliance issue (knock on wood), and no big catastrophes (knock on wood.. yes I woke up the house knocking)...yet!! I will take it. I will take it and run with it and be happy.
During the last 65 days I have been the mom, the cook, the maid, the driver, the financier, the counselor and the referee...only to name a few and I survived. You can call me in another 65 days to see if I am still managing.
I am not saying there have not been some tough days here and there, but overall... life is good. Heck even the cat has survived... now that is saying something. He is sticking it out for Bill to return.
I have been fortunate to talk with Bill frequently, I will say this.. I am elated I get to hear his voice and rant about nonsense in my life... but nothing will be quite right here in this home until I can hold him again. Friends around me are in the last weeks of their deployments and the yellow ribbons and flags are decorating their homes.. it looks amazing. It makes you smile! I am happy for my friends and I can say this without envy... I am truly happy for them... I just made it past 65 days....WOOHOO!!!!

Bill-
I can appreciate your need to tell me about your venture to town.. but hello a girl would like a souvenir... they gotta have something right??? I heard they have poppy there.... is that a kind of chocolate?? Is it a special poppy seed I can use on my muffins? I am awaiting my souvenir from RI to arrive any day. My bubble remains intact and all negative news is being thwarted when presented. Stay safe... I love you and need you home. More pictures please.... and none of them better have you wearing a cheesy mustache!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am not a mean mom..... I have tried looking scary, I have tride bribery... Day 301+

I know I have talked about my parenting skills and how the mean mom is here... well I am thinking I am not so mean.
Over the weekend my oldest says to me "Mom, I am out of money, I only have $5.00 left." To which I reply, "Where did your money go?"  You see my son pays for nothing. He has not been shopping, he hates to do that. He goes to school, he goes to golf, he goes to soccer... then he heads home and hangs out here. What on earth can he be spending money on? I quickly think, Oh crap... is he buying things online... not a rational thought, he has no credit or debit card. I do not think they have made a computer with the ability to slide a dollar bill into it yet. On further discussion he points out that he gets food everyday at the snack shop at the golf course....hello you are there from 3-5pm... I have dinner here at the house and you eat second of it every night. Do you have a intestinal worm? He also points out that he has been paying for his haircuts...hmm... Okay I am guilty I have had him use his own cash twice, I never carry any and well he has cash because it usually comes from me when I pay him for babysitting. I think why not just have him pay and then I can OWE him.... I am not so good at paying him back. Note to my friends... you have to keep me honest. It is not like I am not going to pay, it truly is that I forget. He does say that his Dad had him pay as well before he left. This makes my head slightly tilt to the left. This is not like Bill, he is more apt to have cash or take the time to go to the ATM at the barber shop... hello he usually had his haircut at the same time. Do I think a white lie is going on... absolutely. I did send an email to Bill for verification and yep.. my husband did pay each time. I am now slightly ticked that my son tried to swindle more money from me..but proud because that was just smart. Play the parents against each other and come on, one is in Afghanistan. I did let him read the email his Dad sent in regards to my question and he just shrugged. Now I have a he said, he said situation going on. Do I trust my husbands recollection or my sons. Come on I can not remember to pay things back, is it possible that while my husband was mentally preparing for his year deployment that maybe just maybe he had to borrow money too? We are forty and my son is only fourteen... I know my memory was much better then.

What did I do you ask....... I gave him a twenty and said..call it even and no more borrowing from us. See not so mean!!! Sorry honey, I think you have an amazing brain but I was put in a situation and needed the easy way out.
Now my solution to my kid blowing all his money on food is this. I tell him that I buy tons of food every week. If he is that hungry take some with him for a snack. Spending his on food is ridiculous and not real smart. I also say that I will pay him $20 a week to do his chores..... we have tried in the past to set up allowance and seeing as how I never have cash.. it did not work out so well. I know of others who have bank accounts for their kids and they have an automatic transfer set up.. that is great...but I have mentioned to my kids that they are part of this house and living here comes with responsibilities that I should not have to pay them for. They should be doing these chores as a member of the household. I point out that I buy them what they need and even what they want as a token of my appreciation. My kids do not go without, trust me on this. If I had to pay them and then they had to buy their own items.... it would take them quite too long to save enough to actually buy things that I currently get them. Trust me... what they want is never cheap and I am the one getting screwed here. I am okay with that..please just do not make me give you cash!!!  Are my kids spoiled, yes! Are they brats, NO! I think I have balanced this equation out well.

Back to Sal...  I am now bribing him to actually do his chores. His room is a pit and his bathroom truly makes a truck stop look clean. How hard is it to keep a room clean especially one the size of a closet. The deal with the $20 is this... If  I  have to tell him at all during the week to do his chores... he loses his cash. I explained it by saying that if he had a job and his boss constantly told him what to do, he would be fired. I can't exactly fire him,  but I can not pay him. I think I am so smart .... I now he will fail... he is horrible at cleaning. Yep... this started on Sunday... on Tuesday I asked him if he thinks I should pay him this week... he looked at me and said probably not. I then asked if I could go in his room to see how well he has done.. he says... you might not want to look!!! I have never seen his room as bad as it is..... guess bribing him made him just get lazier and more dirty.
I am looking for caution tape... if you have any please send my way I need to quarantine his room.

Bill-
No worries on the home front.  The only person potentially needing help is your son. I am not scary enough to get him to do his chores, I even tried using money to bribe him. We have no worries..our bank account will continue to grow... he truly will never be paid!
Stay safe in RI... feel free to take pics of less fortunate individuals and how they live... so maybe I can guilt our son into cleaning!

What we share!! Day 303+

I am cruising right along with this deployment... I am blessed with the fact that my husband is fortunate to call home frequently.. I hate to say this.. but sometimes it is too frequent. I love ya honey, but seriously it has been 62 days thus far and you have not figured out the time zone difference. You know how hectic life is in this house during the morning rush to school, after school sport dash, dinner time, and bedtime..... seriously.... why is it that that is the only time you can call??????  I do not mean to sound ungrateful.. I know several wives whom get little contact... but I am not in their shoes... I am wearing mine today and this is my problem. I think Bill has a form of radar that he is able to pick up on when life is crazy here and that is when he must call. I  must be sending him some form of brain wave during high stress and or conversations about him.... what else could it be??  Here is my example.... yesterday I was out to lunch with friends for a birthday celebration...yes we started to talk about our men.. this is what we do! I had just mentioned that my hubby would not put up with something and that he had a pair.... at that moment my phone rings and it is Bill... right on cue when discussing his pair! The conversation at the table was starting to go a bit crazy and slightly dirty and of course Bill did hear a snippet... now I know he said goodbye completely red faced and wanting out of the conversation.... even miles away our men really do not want to know what we talk about. Later in the evening we reconnected again and his first question to me was..... How in the hell did that come up??? I only laughed and proceeded to mortify him with the conversation that almost had us peeing in our pants. Yes.... I love the girls I was with.. thanks for making me laugh and making me forget just how serious life is for a moment. Thanks for helping me embarrass my husband from afar... This is my tactic.. the longer he stays away the more embarrassing stories I can share without him defending himself. I think that that alone would make him want to come home sooner and safe.

Bill-
Hurry home.. I have a large repertoire I can pull from in regards to embarrassing moments and crazy thoughts. I usually just replay these things with you..but since I can not readily do so, my neighbors and friends will benefit!!!
Take care... keep helmet and flak on with gun in hand. You may need them to fend off the brain waves I send!

Friends.............Day 308+

WOW!!!
I must say that friends are a huge part of my life. My friends mean the world to me. As a military spouse we not only endure spousal separations but friendship separations.  These separations from our friends have us crying with moves and then celebrating because we realize a friend from years ago is moving back with us. We make new friends and  we cherish our lifetime friends. We hope with each move that we encounter women whom will encourage us, love us and make us laugh. I have been blessed with meeting and becoming friends with some of the most amazing women. They have all been a blessing and each one has brought something different to the friendship. Each of them have a quality that I only hope to emulate.

Over the last couple of weeks, friends from the past have reached out and reconnected with me. I miss these friends and I miss the time in which we were close. It was great to see you Ms. M.... you look great and it did not seem like 5 years had past!!! Sorry you could not make it to my home Ms. A... I will invade you this summer!  Yes... for my friends reading this..should you be near my home and not stop in even if just to say Hi... me and my clan of crazy kids will invade you.. we will crash on your living room floor. So, should you not want chaos.. just stop by.
No... my friends who now think this a game and plan on being near me and not stopping,  just to get me to visit....NO!!! That is not how it works.


I am blessed with great woman.. you all have made me who I am today and I thank each and every one of you.

Bill-
I am thinking that when you call and ask for soap and tell me you are out of it..  that could be a problem.... it does take up to 4 weeks or so for a pkg... Hello...STINKY!!!!
Thank goodness you are sleeping alone!

Stay safe and being a horrible smelling Marine is one way to fend off the enemy.

Reasons I follow my husband and support his career.......Day 310+

There are days when...........I question why I am okay with the career choice my husband has made. I question why I follow him every 3 years to a new location. I question why I have given up my career goals for his. I question why..... a lot when he is not home AND then I make a list ...
Here are only a few reasons to the questions above....

1. He loves ..... to his core!!
2. He is honest... to a fault.
3. He has an immense amount of integrity.
4. He believes in God and places him above all else... yes even if he does not attend mass... he believes.
5. He is strong... yes honey you have one hot bod! LOL
6. He believes in his job and loves his country.. he loves the Corps and loves his job
7. He would die for his fellow Marines... I hate this but it truly makes me proud....
8. He is noble
9. He is my best friend
10. He is humble.... if only I could emulate this as you do.
11. He is not jealous
12. He is forgiving
13. He is an amazing father
13. He is mine!!!!!!!!

This list is only a few of the attributes of my husband...  I am sure if I was not working on day 55 of single motherhood I could come up with  more... but hey I never said he was perfect!!!

Bill-
You are my split apart- my soul mate-........... stay safe.. wear your helmet and flak and by all means DO NOT LEAVE THE CAMP!!!!

the have's and have not's...............day 312+

In the military there are several different jobs. The Marines call them MOS's... I call them jobs. This is where you specialize into a particular job field. You can be a cook, a lawyer, a mechanic, a pilot, or a grunt just to name a few. The military is a large corporation and like all corporations they have levels of employees with different skill sets. All of these skill sets are needed to make this corporation run smoothly, the problem is that sometimes our Marines and their spouses forget this basic concept.
There are men and women in Afghanistan that are fighting for our countries safety and security on different levels. Some are in  the thick of the battle fighting with weapons, while others are not. Their skill set requires them to be in a behind the scenes role. This allows them to be in a camp that has running water and possibly a bathroom. Are they any less a part of the fight??? NO!  Some  have the ability to use the internet and call home while some are in the field with no access... does that make them less important?? NO!   It takes a strong and solid base to allow the spear to fight. I only hope that spouses and members of our forces can remember that... there is not one single more important Marine than the next. Everyone has a job to do and as a collective they are mighty, but as a singular entity they are weak.
I say this because.... if you are that spouse wanting to wear a badge of honor because your husband is in "the thick of it" go ahead.. it is not that glorious of a badge  ... most of our husbands on the grunt side have "been there done that".... we spouses are hard to impress. I am proud of those spouse who have a loved one in the hardened battle... I am proud of you for bearing the hardest deployment of your life.... I am proud of you.... do you hear me.... now move on and be happy he is surrounded by a large entity of highly skilled people that have his back. My husband is one of them... he has your husbands back and trust me... I have yours... can we now quit comparing the have and have nots of  the deployment. Talk freely about how this is hard for you, I will listen, I will hug... but in return you must be willing to hear that I do talk to my husband, he does have access...and you have to be happy for me. We are both dealing with a deployment regardless of length or location of our spouse, this unites us.  Let us support one another and not compare. I can recall being in your shoes and if I can not ... I can listen with utter love and support for you.

 
disclaimer..... no there is not a person I am referring to here... but it is a topic that has come up quite often lately and this was my spin on it.

 Bill-
 I love that you can call and email me. I love you!!! I miss you!
Mister is waiting for your return, please know that if  you take too long there could other furry additions to the household. The kids are begging me and I am a sucker.. you are the one that usually has my back when I say no...hmmm...

Military spouse survival into phase two... my list of accomplishments,....Day 316+

Phase two of  the spousal survival in a deployment. I have reached this milestone, here is proof:
I have mailed a package.
I have cried and hit rock bottom.
I survived my rock bottom...at least that one! (we all know you may have several moments like those)
I have had a meeting with teachers.
I have fixed household items.
I have screamed at my kids and they still love me.
I have started to fall asleep at night before 1:00am.
I have gotten up early to get the kids off to school and to date they have not been late! (remember I hate mornings)
I have completed the final steps for Bills life insurance.
I have managed to get all my kids to all events... ok maybe not all on time.. but hey they were there.
I have celebrated a birthday without Bill and my child was happy.. not sad because Daddy was not here.
I have managed a rental house issue by myself. 
I have gotten sick and managed all the daily tasks.
My kids have been sick and I have managed all the daily tasks. ( I think it is harder when they are sick than when I am)
I have pushed back that fear of the unknown so far..that now I eat...I eat a lot!
I have embraced being lonely and it no longer haunts me.
I no longer cry in the shower.... I only break down when the doorbell rings late at night.
I have watched friends say farewell to their loved ones... and I did not cry.. I did not internalize and dredge up my farewell.
I have made it to my doctors appointment and .... well... I am at home...so that means...........................
I have remained sane enough to not be institutionalized.... I know several of you may beg to differ... thanks!

What I have yet to do... but seeing as how autopilot of phase two is working..this should be easy right?

I have not buried a pet.... yes Mister is still kicking.. we do poke him occasionally just to be sure he is breathing.
I have not filed our taxes.
I have not watched my neighbors rejoice when their husbands arrive home... this will be joyous.... but also a reminder that mine is not amongst them.
I have not packaged another box up yet..... I have a big issue with sending mail... not sure what that block is... but I know it is completely emotional and unfounded.
I have not had a girls night out.... this does not include Bunco... I am talking about a night out that you can tie one on and just cut loose with that friend .. you know the one friend whom you trust enough to see you tie one on.... not sure if waterworks will come... but she is ready in case they do. thank you Shannon for planning this one.. I can not wait!



I am sure I have left items off the have done and also the have yet to do... but hey it is 830am and I am only on my 1st cup of coffee. Did you truly expect it to be perfect?


Bill-
Hoping all is well with you. Hoping you have not stubbed your toe on big boulders late at night while trying to find the god awful port a potty. Will be sending bandaids and thick rubber soled slippers....ok... maybe I will,  when I send another box.. please do not hold your breath!!!! 
I would now like to see this so called tent/bunk room you live in. Are you sure you are not living it large at a four seasons? I believe you said you eat out every meal... this would mean you are at an all inclusive resort right?