cruise control is broken and road rage

So time has truly flown by lately. I think my cruise control is set at 100mph. I know I drive that fast so why would I think my cruise control is not set there. Maybe my cruise control is broken... I may just be stuck at fast forward. I am just BUSY.... and truly that is an understatement.
The boys are all in soccer and Cami has been signed up for gymnastics. This has me driving off base regularly. For those of you not in the know, driving off base during certain times is horrendous. It is the mass exodus of contract workers, marines and parents during end of workday hours. It can take me 30 minutes to drive 4 miles. I hate this exodus and avoid at all cost. There is always that one person that is unwilling to allow me to merge. I MUST merge to leave the base and trust me I did not choose the lane that ends, it is the only one I have when leaving the housing area. Can you PLEASE let me in???? I truly think road rage will occur and yet due to having my children I refrain from flipping the bird. I still silently curse the driver out and you know what... nine times out of ten it is a MARINE. You would think that just maybe they would take pity on a minivan mom full of kids. NOPE... we are waging our own war here. War of the roads that is...minivan mom vs. Marine...hmmmm.... I wonder who will win???
I started driving the truck..yes this is Bill's truck.. his baby. I drive it thinking it is bigger and if road rage does set in I can drive over people. I have seen the monster truck show... I can do that!
Sorry honey, you did say to drive the truck while you were gone. It works REAL well. :)


Bill-
Take care of yourself, wear all the gear ya can, stay behind a desk, watch your back. I got your truck and now will drive it daily until you get home. No worries here :)

Another Birthday missed .....

Ok so I did not forget but give me a break... I am doing pretty good with all that I am up to without my dear husband.... another recap I did not mention.
He turned 41 on September 10.... he called early in the morning and we all sang him Happy Birthday. He mentioned he would eta whatever he wanted on his big day. Upon our evening call... he indeed ate everything. I did not think it was possible, but the man ate every dessert around. I am sure the Chaplain had to lock his storage chest of goodies he has to hand out. :)

On September 11, 2011... many people were praying and having remembrances of where they were 10 years ago. It was on this day in 2001 that our country went to war. It is why my husband is not home with his family today. WOW... can you believe ten years and we still have service members fighting a war. The same war, sometimes it makes me wonder where the woman leaders of the world are... I kinda think we would not be so nice nor would  we be patient. I know I have had enough of this battle. I am sure others feel the same. I am ready to bring our troops home so they can celebrate what they did accomplish over the last 10 years. I do not think this is a war where one side wins and the other loses. It is a war where we measure how safe we have made our home.... so far.... I have yet to see another attack as brutal as September 11, 2001. Good Job Troops!!! I think it is time to come home now!!!!

I mentioned that many were praying and sharing stories.... me,  I was celebrating. I was celebrating my oldest turning 15 years old. He is so grown up and so handsome... yes I am biased. He had friends over the night before to hang out and on Sunday we chilled and had cake. We celebrated and laughed... and once again.... DAD MISSED IT!!!!  Sorry but he so owes us big time.... even though I get it.. I get the cause he is fighting.... nope still gonna give him crap about missing another event. I live for the ability to hold this over his head when he is home and we want to do something that he may not want to. I pull this card out that says... you owe us!!!!! :) I am happy to say... he laughs as we joke about the missed events. He knows he has no say in what we do as his make up event.


Bill---- be ready to make up a lot of missed events when you come home. I seriously doubt you will have time to sleep.... better get it in while fighting a war. :)
Keep your helmet and flak on.... if not for yourself, for us so we can have the privilege of torturing you for all the missed events.

Love ya!!!!

wow time is going going gone

So I originally thought I could blog about the things I went through over the last couple months and keep you all entertained and informed.... yep I had some very high expectations of myself. Needless to say, that won't be happening. So here is the cliff note version of what has happened over the last couple of months.... SUMMER!!!
Summer came and went. I anticipated the kick off of the summer with a visit from Bill during his R&R. It was a great kickoff. I blogged a bit on how R&R went, so lets zip right along.

A traumatic event did occur after Bill left from R&R... my old man Mister... our 20 year old cat died. He died early in the morning with me stroking his fur and praying for him to not suffer any longer. We buried him next to the other cat and placed our dogs ashes alongside him. My oldest was such the man and offered to dig the burial hole for me. He does not realize... ok now he will..... just how huge that offer was. I needed help that day in the form of someone having my back. Bill was not here and as much as I try to not lean on my oldest... I leaned on him that day. He dug a great hole.... Mister is at peace and surrounded by his animal family. He held on to say good - bye to Bill.  Now I wonder what animal will be welcomed in my home next...hmmmm...

 I  took the kids to Florida where I spent two wonderful weeks. Part of the time I was on the beach with my parents and the rest I was at Disney. The beach and time with my parents was wonderful. It always is and I can only hope and pray that in our next chapter of life I get to live near them.
I met my dear friend Shelley and her daughter at Disney.  I had the best time at Disney...I only had my younger two kids, Tony and Cami. We had a ball and during all of it.. I did feel a bit guilty. Guilty for having such a good time without Bill. He loves Disney... ok so he will not admit it.. but he does :) The kids get along so well and after a year apart they did not skip a beat. Giggles happened daily and they were exhausted by nights end. I will go back and do that again. I  needed this visit with my friend. I needed my non military friend with me... the one who laughs with me, makes me laugh and who just understands me. This is not to say that I do not have other friends who do this for me, but Shelley is well Shelley. Everyone should be so lucky to have her. I love ya girl!!!
Upon returning home high school sports practice had started for my oldest and classic soccer had begun for the other two boys in the family. I was up and running as a soccer mom!!! Whew!! August flew by and school started.
I am sure there is so much more that occurred in there but due to my inability to remember much... it must be lost or currently out to lunch.

Gotta love this second stage of deployment.. I have been coasting and truly it really is flying by!!!!!


Bill-

Life is going fast and I know from your perspective it may not be.. forgive me if I have little time to talk or email... I will try to do better I promise....
 I will... but only if I get more pics of you in personal protective gear. I also think I should up the ante to you staying behind a desk.... be very concerned about what I may choose as the next animal member! Go ahead friends and family... give me some ideas of what we should get.

Happy Birthday to my love

Today is my loves birthday. Happy Birthday Bill.. I know that even with you miles and miles away you still know that we are with you today and everyday. I love you!
You are an amazing man and a wonderful husband. I have been the luckiest girl alive with you by my side. You are my rock, m love and my soul mate.
I can only hope that today as you celebrate your birthday with your comrades in arms that you know I am at home cherishing every memory we have.   I love you and wish you the best birthday ever...ok so not the best..that will happen next year when you are home.. but a good one. :)

Stay safe and wear all your gear.. Come home to us!!!

June 12th- 28th....... R&R.

I know it has been a long time since I blogged... but hey I needed to be sane for awhile and keep my hubby safe.... yes I followed opsec rules here. I will be writing the catch up ones as if I had written them during the date posted

My hubby came home for his 2 week R&R ... which stands for rest and relaxation...... lets be honest here.... it is a conjugal visit! Your hubby or wife..... gets blessed with 2 weeks of freedom from the fight if they are deployed for 12 months or greater. I call it a conjugal visit because come on.... we are adults and it has been 6 months since I saw him... you seriously think that there is much else on his mind.  I also like to equate a deployment to prison. He is told what to do, he is in meager accommodations, he eats when the chow hall is open, he gets limited access to the computers to email, he has even more limited access to a phone, there are not tv's to watch, he works unbearable hours in sweltering heat. Do you think this sounds a bit like a prison labor camp??  So he was sent home for his conjugal visit two days after my 40th birthday. What a great belated present.
Now back to him being blessed with his freedom for 2 weeks. I say they are blessed because it is a double edge sword for the family at home. It is all the excitement of a home coming without actually being a homecoming. You must enjoy 2 weeks and only 2 weeks with them and then with open arms, filled hearts and yes sorrow.... let them go again. I knew that this would be an emotionally hard thing to overcome. There is no  time to prepare yourself for them to leave AGAIN.  You can prepare for them to come home and you get your hair done, you make sure you have the right outfit to pick them up in, you get butterflies awaiting their arrival and yet deep inside you know that they are leaving again just too soon. I allowed myself to be open to the hurt that letting Bill leave again would cause me. I will cherish the family time and the beach time we had during his 2 weeks. I would not trade it for anything in the world. I needed my "Bill cup" filled. I was becoming somewhat of a witch and he is the one person who calms me, who keeps me even, who fills my heart. So, I would not trade the 2 weeks for anything. It was worth the sorrow and the hurt of letting him go again.
Now to describe the 2 weeks... well it is great. There truly are no words to describe how amazingly wonderful those 2 weeks were. I think I have to leave it at that. The kids loved having Dad home and more importantly loved having "vacation dad" home. This is the dad that because he knows he only has 2 weeks to cherish with the kids... anything goes and there is no parenting from him. Yep, I got to be the parent... he got to be "fun" Dad. I truly could have used a bit of a parental break but nope... it was not to be had. Bill was in complete lack of parenting mode. I would think this is similar to a divorced family with a Dad being the fun one during his one weekend a month.
The kids being who they are completely took advantage of the situation and now being almost August, I almost have them back to the kids I had beaten them into...(yes just joking I did not beat them) but you get the idea right?
Bill and I did get some time to ourselves in the evenings and to be completely honest here.... it is not always the sex you miss the most. For me just being held by him, smelling him, feeling safe in his arms.... now that is what I miss the most. Being held by a man's strong arms and feeling loved... yep that is it for me.

I stated that I allowed myself to feel and knew his leaving would hurt more. It is because most of us wives, we start to build a wall on our emotions prior to a deployment, but when you only have 2 weeks there is no time to waste nor time to push them away. I just opened my heart and felt the love and yes.. filled my Bill cup. That being said, for nights before he left, I stared at him as he slept and wept. I wept tears of love and fear. Fear of letting him go back to the fight when he is laying there safe and unhurt. I believe he only caught me once. I just could not hide my emotions and for me.... that was HUGE! I will say that he did hold me and like I said before that is what I miss the most. Glad my tears got me what I needed. :)

The kids like before were troopers when it was time to say goodbye. No tears were shed by them and they moved on like the champions they are. You have got to love the resiliency of a military child.  I drove him to the airport, smiling and doing my best to NOT cry. We sat in the airport holding hands awaiting for his plane to board. I left the airport with a very heavy heart, I sat in my car and cried as I watched his plane leave.

Now my countdown can truly begin.... we have 6 more months until I can welcome him home.

Bill-  stay safe on your travels back in country and know that I await your return.

Another celebration without DAD..........Day 221+

Today is my second child's 12th Birthday.... Happy Birthday Sammy !!!!
I remember his birth well, we moms always do. We share our stories with all pregnant women, but today I share this story with all of you because I am proud not for having a child, but proud of  that child for who he is and how he has grown.

Twelve years ago I was at Reseach Hospital in KC MO welcoming my bouncing baby boy into the world. I was welcoming him alone. I had my parents at my side but my husband was miles away. He was deployed, yet again, missing the moment of our baby's birth. I went into labor in the night and emailed my husband on board the USS Kearsarge. I figured what more could bug him but to receive an email from me saying I was enroute to the hospital... yep he is not a patient man. I figured it would be several hours before he got any communication from my family letting him know about the birth of his son. This is pre cell phones!!! I was so mean....LOL
I welcomed a healthy baby boy into the world early in the am and had my then sister in law send the email to Bill several hours later announcing his son's arrival. As family and friends from afar called my hospital room to congratulate me on the birth of my son,  a nurse came running in the room yelling at me..."your husband is on the phone and can not get in because you are on the line, get off so we can transfer". You would have thought he was the President of the U.S. seeing how excited my nurse was. Because I live hidden in my bubble during deployments, I had not been following the news. There was an event happening and my husband was heading toward it. He was calling from a CNN phone while climbing aboard a helo enroute to Kosovo.  Yep, these civilian nurses were hearing a helicopter and excessive commotion in the background and at that moment they were believers in the fight. The fight my husband and other members of the Corps so willingly do as a job. Keep in mind that at this point I did not know where he was headed nor did he let me know, he likes my bubble (this is when he only said watch the news honey). I was beaming when I heard his voice and crying at the same time. I knew he was beaming and I could not hold back the joy I had in telling him all about our bouncing baby boy who came into the world loved so deeply and rejoiced by his family. Bill, asked what his name would be... we had not finalized that one yet. I told him Sammy Jo.... ok I admit it, I let Sal make the decision and he was only two and a half years old. Hey... no judging here, I was alone and needed to keep myself mentally strong, I figured who better to decide between Sebastian and Sammy Jo than him right? Lets be honest, what name do you think a two and a half year old is even capable of saying. Yes, I will admit I blamed the oldest in case the dad from afar did not agree. LOL

That leads me to today twelve years later.....

I get a phone call from afar. It is my husband in Afghanistan calling to wish our boy a Happy Birthday. I beam and hide my tears. My son smiles big and laughs and then says I love you DAD! The life of a military child, accepting a call from the man he knows as dad and loves without conditions.... knowing Dad is celebrating with him even if he is not "with" him. It is at that moment today that I hug my child knowing he has grown with grace, honor and courage and is no longer my little boy but a young man. A young man accepting what life brings and smiling his bright big Sammy smile.
I love you Sammy.... I am blessed to be your mom, you are truly God's gift.

Day 232+... cruise control is having some issues

Wow... it has been awhile since I blogged about this deployment. That is a good thing.. it mean my cruise control is working and that my bubble is intact, of course, that is until the last couple of days.
The middle phase of deployments I enjoy. It is truly when you have figured out how to handle the daily life without your spouse. It is where you come to rely on yourself and your friends for the emotional and mental support your spouse gave. Yes, he still gives it but by the time you actually get to talk...the crisis or situation has passed and you did it alone. I don't mind being in cruise mode. I will say that at times, life seems easier because your kids cannot play you and your spouse against each other. There is only one rule maker, only one parent to go to for permission, there is only one parent that decides a punishment. Those seem like an upside, but beware spouses... do not think single parenting is that easy. It means there is only one bad parenting decision, there is only one parent to drive kids to events, there is only one parent comforting emotions, there is only one parent that gets the blame and the anger from the kids, there is only one parent that during the deployments...that makes all decisions that can directly affect your kid for the rest of their life!!! I miss my husband and I miss his ability to help me think through parenting events at the time that they are happening. I miss bouncing ideas off him, I miss hearing his reasoning and calming nature. I know that without him I am not that nice, I am not that grounded and that I get spun up very quickly. I am in need of my husband and the great news is that he will be returning home for a short visit this summer sometime. He is taking his required two week R&R sometime during the kids break...or so we hope.  My heart is a flutter and I hope that during the two weeks he comes home... that my Bill cup gets filled and overflows so I can continue being the single parent for  the remainder of the year.

Now.. back to my broken cruise control..... no one should ever have to deal with selling a house alone. Even under the best circumstances... crazy crap happens and lets just say that this must be my test. The test my bubble and cruise control needed to see if it can remain intact. Oh... and lets not forget that over the last week, a marine with my husband was wounded. Thankfully he survived and will heal with the help of doctors and surgeons... but it places the "effects of war" a bit too close in proximity to my husband...(yes we think selfishly at times).
I complain and yet as I do... I am reminded of others dealing with so much more... once again.. I will feel what I feel and try not to compare... the comparisons will suck my bubble dry.

Bill- please remain behind your desk at all times... wear your helmet and flak... apparently the killing of Osama bin Laden only stirred the pot. I pray for you and your fellow comrades daily. Stay alert... I need you home!

To my dear friends struggling at this time due to family loss and medical diagnosis..... I love you both and pray for you to remain strong and vibrant. You keep me moving forward and provide inspiration to me. Do not let me suck your bubbles dry.... let me keep them full.... I am praying and blowing!!!!

Happy Mothers Day... day 249+

Happy Mothers Day to all the moms and moms to be out in blog land.
 Today is a great day thus far. My boys brought me coffee and breakfast in bed. My daughter brought me a sweet letter and gift she made at school. How can one not feel warm and fuzzy when my kids... the reason today is special...... have turned out so sweet. Way to go kids... yes you will be rewarded for your efforts ... your dad has taught you well. Keep mom happy and make her feel special and you will be rewarded kindly. Now.. what to do?
I log into FB to give a wide spread shout out to my mom after I call her and wish her HMD..(happy mom's day) and what do I see... a shout out via my hubby. He has updated his blog with an amazing letter to me. He is articulate, he is wonderful, he is amazing...he is all mine!
Here is a link to his blog
http://sablaninafghanistan.blogspot.com/


Today is a good day and I wish all you moms the same happiness and joy I am experiencing.


Bill-
Wear your helmet and flak... stay safe... do not turn today into a bad day by getting harmed in any way. You see regardless of where you are... I love you and I need you home!

Royal wedding invite???.. Day 258+

Where was my invite??? Why did the bride and groom not think I should be in attendance.... come on we all know us military wives would have at the least livened the party a bit!!!

Instead, I attended a Royal Wedding breakfast party with the women of my neighborhood. Most of us are currently sans husbands...so yes a wedding was just what we needed to emotionally bond us. I must say as I watched the wedding, yes DVR'd- ... we all know I hate mornings and as much as I might love a great wedding at 4am...HECK NO!!!! a dry eye was hard to have. We girls and moms sat around laughing at some things, critiquing the hats...hello who couldn't, and eating some great food. We enjoyed just being part of something historical and sharing some fond memories of our own weddings. We laughed... we sat in awe and to be honest... we shed maybe one tear. That tear for me was of happiness,  for a couple that I can only hope will share the bond that I share with Bill.  That tear was also one of longing that I have for my husband.

With that said... enjoy Prince William and Princess Katherine..... us girls here in the hood hope you have a wonderful life together. We hope you both have found your true love as we all have here.


Bill-
Lucky for you that you were in Afghanland.. I would have dragged you with me today and yes... you would have come. You would have loved it!!!! HA
Hoping you wore your dress uniform today in honor of your British comrades who are celebrating a glorious wedding in their native land.

Day 260+....... Another Holiday without DAD!

Easter was a beautiful day here in NC. My parents came into town to help us celebrate not only Easter but spring break. The kids had their fill of prayers, candy and family time. Bill called home to hear of the mornings activities and we went to the beach. We enjoyed being a family minus one... this is when I realized just how fortunate I was... my minus one will be coming home. I said a special prayer for those who are doing this holiday without a loved one, be it a military member, a parent, a child or a grandparent. My thoughts were of you on this day.


Bill-
I know that Easter dinner was not the same without the bad manners of our kids at the table... I am hopeful that many Marines showed their bad manners and made you feel at home. I am sure you chewed with your mouth open and even laughed at the fart jokes.... yes these things did happen at our table. We would not want to disappoint!
Keep you weapon on you at all times... wear your helmet and flak ...saying cheese with your MU mug... does not make me feel safe!

I stopped to breathe.................Day 266+

Life for me over the last 100 days has been hectic. It has been busy... it has been hard. I have done fairly well and only melted down once that I can recall. I have had more good days than bad. I am currently getting ready for a neighborhood Easter egg hunt and wrapping my head around all that I need to do in celebration of Easter as well as my oldest son's confirmation. I am a bit preoccupied mentally. I have more in my head than I do on my calendar, yet right now I feel like I can breathe and this is why.
My kids travel soccer is over except for one of them and this causes me much relief. All of the extra curricular activities  are dying down and spring break starts tomorrow afternoon. I should be able to breathe right? I should be able to let my guard down for a minute right? NO I CAN NOT!!!!
I did.. I breathed..... and with that single breathe and release of all that is mom.... I FORGOT to pick up my kid at school after his science project. Yep... left him at school... and I  knew he was staying late today.  I took snack in this morning for his group.... yet at 4:45pm this evening.. I forgot!
I thank the teachers that I absolutely love for keeping him safe, for laughing at me and my neurotic apology. I thank my son for laughing at me and accepting that mom forgot.
He arrived home safe and sound at 5:45pm..... the baby chicks in his class he got to feed because I left him at school.... that helped quite a bit.
Thank you Mr. P and Mrs. P....... I love you both!!!!

Bill-
I did forget a kid.. but at least he was safe and at school. His teacher is always telling me he wants to take him home.. I was just trying his offer out!
I will be more diligent and try not to forget any one else while you are gone. My mind is shot and my bubble is wavering.... on days like today when I feel like the worst mom in the world... is when I need you to wrap your arms around me and tell me that I am not the worst, that I am doing great and that our kids are okay.
I will expect to see your smiling face on skype in the morning... wearing helmet and flak... I could use the laugh!

Day 266+..... GROSS!!

Thus far during this deployment and single parenting trip I am on I have dealt with broken appliances, sick kids at least 4 times, sleepless nights, roof repairs, projects galore, and a crazy storm causing tornadoes in the area. I can handle it all....except...... watching a huge canine tooth fall out of the cats mouth!!!!
Yesterday, the old cat Mister I have talked about in previous blogs who is holding on to say good bye to Bill.... dropped a tooth!!! UGH!! Completely gross. I tell myself and friends around me that when he goes, it will be okay. I will handle his death with sadness at first but then most likely relief. He is a bit of a handful in this last stage of his life, but to watch a huge tooth drop on the kitchen floor... yep I vomited in my mouth on that one.
Do not email me your concern for the cat, trust me he is is no pain and is a purr factory. I am ready to do my duty and help him along at the first sign of pain... but even the tooth only caused him to miss a day of meals. This morning... he is all happy and content. Me... I am traumatized at watching him bat at his mouth until the tooth fell out... I am sure Tony who witnessed this will need counseling later in life.

Bill-
Mailing your package out today... as a token of his love Mister removed his canine tooth and I have enclosed it for you! I am thinking you might wear it proudly around your neck!!!
Stay safe and wear your helmet and flak.... it is getting hot over there and I know that body odor could be used as a weapon so wear your gear!!!

Crazy storms ..... day 269+

Saturday started out like any other Saturday for us here in NC. One kid off by 5:30am for a drill meet and the rest of the household waking up and getting ready for the soccer fields by 8am. I had an extra kid in tow, Sam wanted his buddy to spend the night and go to his last game of the season. I opted for a Dunkin Donut morning, we all know everything is better with donuts! There was a threat of storms lurking all day and several events in the area were cancelled due to this threat. I,  of course at the time, had hoped for storms so I could sleep in a bit. How many times have you all been told, I hate mornings!!! Being from the mid-west, I like a good storm. I get charged up and I am in awe of the power it can hold and the beauty of it all. 

My daughter started to feel a bit under the weather while at the soccer game so we came home and awaited the storm. I bypassed the division egg hunt and  began to prep for the storm coming, I covered the furniture and  made room in the garage for my van. I truly think my neighbors look at me with one eyebrow cocked at times like this. I will admit I am a bit of a weather nut. I like to just say am I a prepared mom... but hey who knows it could just be my crazy coming out.

This being said, on Saturday evening around 8pm I was keeping a watchful eye on www.intellicast.com. This is the best weather site ever, it has an active weather map with layers and lists all alerts based on location. I have my sister,  a fellow mid-west storm lover, to thank for this site. As I tell the kids to be ready to get in the small kitchen bathroom if I yell to take cover, I sit and watch. I chat on the phone with a neighbor and discuss my plans and the alerts I am seeing. At 8:15pm a tornado warning is issued for the county I reside in. I, of course being a trained weatherman, look outside. Hmmm, I see the usual weather of the day thus far, windy, windy, windy with some gray clouds. I do not see that illuminating green hue or rain or hail, so I pause for about 5 minutes. It is then that I notice the glow of green and the fact that the wind has stopped. Not just eased off, but completely stopped. I yell al the kids to get in the bathroom, I do not like the feeling in my gut. Kids in bathroom, one cat in bathroom and now the hunt to find the final cat.....oh lord, let me find him! I find him hunkered down under my bed dragging his claws in the floor as I try and remove him from his spot. I get the cat and myself in the closet and we wait. The warning is supposed to end at 8:45pm. 

My bathroom is very quickly becoming my personal sauna. Five people and two cats in a half bath that barely fits the sink and toilet. Oh yes, we are sweating and then to beat it all....someone farts!!! I can not help but laugh as my kids are gagging and complaining. How can this not be funny. We look like clowns in a clown car and now we all smell like turd. 

I have internet and power still, we hear a loud boom which truly I believe is one of our large trees hitting the roof... but then nothing. I check intellicast... it says the warning has been extended til 9pm... we sit and watch tv on hulu and wait.  

9pm hits and we are outta that cramped bath... no more rain, but I can tell it poured. We no longer have power and I grab a flashlight to check for what I think may be a tree in my house... thank goodness it was only the contents of a shelf  that for some reason had fallen. We are fine, my house is fine. I look outside and all of my neighbors are fine too. 

I  chat with some neighbors outside and then head in to go to bed. There is no power and for the last week I have not slept.

This is where is starts to go bad.... in my head at least........for the moment...................

The phone rings.. in my stupor I grab it and see a number that is the one Bill uses to call home on. I know that surely he would never call in the middle of the night unless........... yep my mind went there... unless something terrible had happened. Nope he was checking on us, he heard a bad storm had damaged homes in the area. I knew nothing of this and at 3am... I checked the TV.. all I got was that shelters had been opened... let me point out I was in a stupor and it was 3am... I now knew that not only were my kids safe but so was my husband... I fell back to sleep.

Unbeknown-st to me, something terrible had happened. It was not to my family or my close friends, but to other military families. A tornado had touched down in the housing area next to ours and destroyed several homes, injured people and caused severe damage. I found out this information on Facebook at 9am. HOLY COW!!!!

I am saddened to hear of this news and I am mad!!! I am mad because as a mid-west girl what I can not understand is why the warnings were not better published. Many of my neighbors did not seek shelter in their homes, many were in bed in a second floor room with no worries. There was a high school party going on a couple blocks away and those kids were playing in and out during this storm....... can we say lucky or just plain stupid! 

Sorry you all but come on...... why did the base not have their sirens blaring when the National Weather Service published the warning??? Why did the patrol cars not go about the streets with lights flashing and loudspeakers telling all to seek shelter??? Why did the forecasters on TV keep talking about cities no where near us????

I am saddened to say it took destruction by storm for people to now realize just how powerful mother nature is and to realize that maybe just maybe...this mid-west girl is not so crazy when she hides in her bathroom.

I pray for those who were impacted by this storm and I shame those who should have done a better job of warning them. I am also proud to say that the military has stepped up and the families here have rallied in support of their own. 

Bill-  I am fine and the kids are fine... this crazy mid-west girl has their back when mother nature is knocking. Do not worry about us, you stay safe and by all means......never call me in the middle of the night!!!! I may not survive a heart attack. Remember, no news is good news... I am sure that if something did happen on this end.. I would be able to get word to you very quickly,  I have my ways.

Wear you helmet and flak... and bring them home with you.... the crazy weather here warrants the need to possibly wear them even in your own home.

Happy Anniversary........an amazing gift ..Day 274+

Today is my 15th Wedding Anniversary. I was lucky to have married my one true love, my soul mate, my split apart. On this day... once again I am celebrating alone.. without my husbands presence.. but by all means not without his love. You see as a military spouse you get used to the fact that all important holidays and celebrations... will more than likely be celebrated without your spouse. You never celebrate alone, your fellow wives will be sure of that! This is one benefit to living on base, you will always feel loved by your neighbors when a birthday or celebration happens. These women fill that void and celebrate with you, for him. ( I was fortunate to also find this in great neighbors off base as well).
Today was different. My adoring loving husband gave me a gift that I will cherish forever. He made me cry.. not from sorrow or even from missing him... but out of pure love and emotion for him. He truly placed me on my pedestal......this is what I feel all women should be on and yes he is aware of this. Let me rephrase this.. 15 years ago I told him on our wedding day that as long as he makes me feel like the most important thing in his life....regardless of whether I truly am at that moment and places me on a pedestal above anything else.. I would always be happy and that life would be easy. See, I was honest from the beginning about my expectations. He laughed at me and said.. no problem.. that is easy!

He makes it looks so easy.. he makes loving me look easy.. I know that this can not be the case.. I am a wee bit difficult, but he truly shows me his love and tells me he loves me daily.... but today... today he topped even himself. He sent me an email telling me to go on his account and load a video and then come back to my email and read his Anniversary letter as it loaded. It loaded and I heard him talking... and then I heard the music. My husband recorded himself serenading me. I sat and watched and cried.... to be loved that much truly touches your soul. There were two other Marines in the video playing guitars and singing back up.. this was a full on effort. I then received calla lilies.... my wedding bouquet flowers. I also received a phone call and got to hear his voice and tell him just how much I loved him and how lucky I am to be his wife.

He is going to kill me for putting this video on here... I did not say he was the next AMERICAN IDOL... he is however, my idol and when you listen and watch know that love is deaf as much as it is blind...LOL

I love you Bill.... please stay safe and wear helmet and flak or this video is going on YOUTUBE!!! Please thank your fellow Marines for helping you on giving me this amazing gift. My heart beats for your return.......love always...ME.

Day 276+ ..... Building WHAT???

For all my Marine wives living on a Marine installation and those who frequent a Marine installation you will understand my pain. For my civilian friends..I only hope I can express just exactly what happened to me today.

My geography skills are questionable at best, I have shared this will all of you in previous posts. I have a had time grasping where anything is unless I have been there before. This is one reason I believe I must visit RI or it will remain to be my Afghanistan. The base I currently live on is Camp Lejeune NC.  I truly enjoy base living. I have a wonderful group of neighbors and friends. I have a great beach within 20 minutes. I have a great climate.. I love warm weather. Life is good here.
There is currently massive construction going on here aboard base. There is a new school being built, several hundred homes, a new bridge to connect two housing areas, new roadways, and a new entrance to the base. This is proving to be a difficult time if you live here. You hear noise at all hours of  the night as they work 24 hours a day to keep on schedule. You get trapped in crazy traffic and they have changed the road patterns. ..... now than if that is not enough for me to get used to.... I am now required to know the location of any and all buildings aboard base by a number....HUH????
This is how the base is labeled. Every building has a number and all those who work here are apparently  given a geography test so that when they say building 65... all personnel on base will know exactly where it is. I am a resident... not personnel.... I only ask for you to treat me as the civilian I am. I have not taken this geography skills test and I am not into playing the game of hide the building numbers, it is akin to playing where is Waldo. I truly am not up to this feat when I am checking into a doctors appointment at the Naval Hospital clinic 10 minutes before my scheduled time. I am also sure that my appointment has been made for over a month and when I made it...YES I ASKED WHERE!!!!  I was told Naval Hospital clinic.... so now when you the desk lady tell me.. oh you need to go to Building 65.... do not be alarmed when I look at you as if you are speaking in parseltongue.  Where is building 65 and does this building have a number too? Do the numbers go up or down and in what direction? Holy crap.... you are now giving me a map!!! Now with the above mentioned construction of new roads, new schools etc... I am now expected to leave the hospital with my treasure map in hand and drive to building 65 in under 5 minutes! Oh... and on base speeding is BAD! You must go to traffic court for an infraction you have... hmmm... dilemma or gambling? I gambled... I drove well over the new speed limits that have been changed several times due to construction. I drove like a mad woman... those with TRICARE no... you do not want to miss any appointment you may never get a new one.
I did all of this and had my map all in hopes to find building 65.... I am good!!! I found this building and walked in ready to argue.. ready to battle for my appointment until I walked in the waiting room and saw over 40 Marines sitting there... Well, crap did somebody alert the Marines that I was enroute? Why are all these men here... I am going to see a gynecologist!!!!!!
Yep.. I battled the hospital, the base construction, the speed limits, the tricare system, the MAP and now I gotta battle Marines all just for me to get my lady parts looked at.... now that is being hard up!!!!

To say the least, all is well and my appointment went fine. I am now needing a cocktail and a valium.
This was too much excitement for one day and all before noon.


Bill-
I won my battle with the MAP.. thanks for alerting the troops for me... I guess you were sending that poor GYN some back up in case. No worries they were not needed and all of them were gone when I left,  reporting to some other location standing guard from another's wife.
Bring your helmet and flak with you when you come... you will need it for safety purposes.... the construction is crazy!

Day 280 +....what no pay?????

My husband as sweet as he is allows me to sit in my bubble. My bubble is a wonderful place where life is good, no harm comes of anyone I love and most importantly.... it is where I get paid!
The threat of a government shutdown looms upon us. I was told by my loving husband that I should not worry...we would still be paid......(this is that little lie that I  normally do to him so he does not fret)....well he did it to ME!!!! This is not the case, we could potentially not get paid when or if the government has a shut down. This does not mean we will be destitute, but that is because I am fortunate...other military members sit just above poverty and they will be. The shut down means that my husbands paycheck will come....but eventually...it may just be halted for awhile.....WTF???? I for one will be calling the private housing office that currently owns the government quarters I live in to tell them I will not be paying them until my fine government pays me..... hmmm.... you may see me on the news as I barricade myself from being evicted....:)

This lack of pay to the military only does one thing.....it ignites the public to put pressure on their elected officials to make a decision and one quickly. So not only are our men and women in uniform fighting and dying  for our country......now they are the biggest pawn for government officials decision making. Go ahead and stand in front of the cameras Mr/Mrs. Politician...explain how unfortunate it is for the military members and why we should side with you..... you are the reason we are in this mess!!! For once grow a pair and act with it...how about all elected officials cease to be paid before they cut off our military pay? Lets be honest...how hard is your job? It is not like your perks from contributors have run dry.

My translation....you elected government officials have decided to throw a tantrum in regards to your beliefs at the cost to us...the military members and families...pulled apart at the seams by a war.... yet, you will get a paycheck? Logic? I believe you should get in my bubble and see how well the world works when egos are collected at the door. When decision come easily and there is no worry of offending anyone. In my bubble....adults act like adults!

To those who believe that this is a political farce.....contact your congressman or congresswoman.... tell them to grow up and for once make a decision based on LOGIC not politics or party affiliation. 


Bill- I will await the gov't poor decision making before I move to another country permanently... I will forward my new address....  My thoughts on a privately owned island that is self contained is looking better and better. I will make the list of those who will join us......
Make sure you bring your helmet and flak... you will be chief of security..... LOVE MY BUBBLE!!!!!

day 283+...From Aprils Fools to poor fatherly advice!

So I did it.. I pranked my husband in Afghanistan on April Fool's Day... he just so happened to skype us on Friday morning and the kids were excited to see and hear him. I thought, what great timing..now we can get him.
If you know my husband well you understand that he has a love for his truck. He has always had this love for his vehicles. His vehicles remain show room quality and then there is my vehicle.... lets just say mine is worse for wear. So this is what I did, I told Bill that our oldest accidentally backed his truck into...yep the new van while getting the truck out of the garage for me. This is not a huge lie.. Sal our oldest would on occasion back the vehicles up for us he just has not hit anything yet (knock on wood).  I watched as my husband tried his hardest to stay calm and cool. My middle boy was out of camera shot because he was caracking up and would give up my ruse. It was not until I saw Bill look at his watch... wanting this conversation to end ..that he looks up at us and says... "It is April 1st."  500 teeth came through that screen as well as a huge sigh of relief.
Yes, I find myself funny!

On to tonight..... I have a freshman in high school that is a member of the JROTC program. He must have a regulation haircut and tomorrow is inspection. He told me earlier today that he needed a haircut and instead of getting it this morning when he had time...he played PS3 and hung out with a friend. He had a gold match at 1pm and was occupied until after 630pm. Guess what time the barber shop closes...yep 6pm. Now than at 730pm he reminds me of his hair dilemma... oh ok..let me jump through hoop number one and drive you to the barber just to be sure. Yep...CLOSED!  I then drive to barber shop number two....yep CLOSED!
Now here comes hoop number two.... I drive to a friends in hopes that her Marine can cut hair...NOPE!
Now it is after 830pm and I have posted on my facebook page that I am in need of a barber or a friend who can pretend to be one. I was blessed with clippers....me... with clippers. I can feel Bill's blood pressure rising. I had clippers once about 10 years ago when Bill asked me to cut his hair. Let's just say that I laughed a lot while he steamed.  I told my son that I can not do this...but with endearing eyes...he says come on mom you can try. How am I supposed to say NO to that? I try... the clippers must be dull since he is screaming that it pulls and hurts...all the while I am entertained that he is getting the epilady of all haircuts. My son now has shorter hair... it looks a bit mangy.... maybe when they inspect him he can say he has alopecia. I am shorter than him so at my angle it looks great!
This is where is only gets worse... he hands me a razor... yep..he says to fix it....LOL ..... ok I can make it worse so that is fixing it right? What a sport and what a great son to truly believe in his mom. To trust me......

                           he thinks he can do this??

 OMG...

 OMG...











Side view of final 

final cut








 Note.... upon my original post of this cut... my son did fix his hair... hence the happy camper


Bill- I believe all of this is your fault....you were supposed to address all things military with him so he would not ask anything of me...I believe you left out..BY NO MEANS LET YOUR MOM CUT YOUR HAIR!
With that said, you may want to email his instructor to get pity points for your son, he had to deal with his mom and clippers. He did not even yell at me....he should get points for that!
Clippers are being returned tomorrow... Sal will be awaiting a call from you so you can say sorry for failing to give fatherly advice! I have packaged up the hand held mirror we have.... I sure as heck did not want Sal to find it and see how bad his hair is!

Stay safe and wear your flak and helmet... you may need your helmet when you come home to hide your hair from a revenge cut!

A small affair..... Day 290+

I am having a love affair while Bill is gone.. do not be shocked... I know many of you have one too. Mine is with this black and silver gorgeous dutch man. I love the dutch!!! My man beacons me with a blue glow at times. He awaits for me to decide if I want small, medium or big..... get your minds out of the gutter!!! I am talking about my KEURIG coffee maker. This is one appliance that I will thank my husband for immensely when he returns home. Without this beautiful Dutch man, I would be coffee less. You see, making coffee using grounds and filling water daily and pouring from a pot.... that is to much manual labor for me. I was blessed with my newest love just before the holidays. My husband knows me so well. He knew making coffee in a pot was right up there with doing the laundry. A necessity of life but one I would love to refrain from. He knew that for me life without him and without  my warm luscious cup of coffee would send me over the edge. He knew that the beast within me would attack this home without at least one of my favorites in life being present. Thank you for being so kind Bill, you granted me peace and serenity in the form of an appliance...now lets just hope it lasts the whole deployment.


Bill- I am happy to hear you are getting my pkgs in the mail...you realize I have now sent two.. this is a big step for me. You know how I love the post office. I have items here getting ready to ship.. sorry but one is not a single cup Keurig machine... I am the jealous type.. I do not share!!! LOL
Keep the helmet and flak on at all times. Thanks for sharing the pics so I have proof and do not need to send the cat over. He is alive and well awaiting your return.

perspective........Day 291+

Today is Sunday, I sit and reflect while the kids are at Sunday school class. It is a time when the house is quiet and the coffee is hot. In these moments I think of just how lucky I am to have the life I do. I  am married to the most wonderful man and have four beautiful and amazing kids. Today, my eyes welled up not in sorrow but in joy. I am lucky and today was a good day to reflect. To think about all the positives in my life that outweigh the giant negative one.... you know the fact that Bill is not here right now. My negative today seemed pale in comparison to some... some wives and kids out there are not getting their husband or daddy back, their daddy and hubby has been placed in heaven. Today I remain thankful for my wonderful life and the going to pray that those who have lost their loved one find peace in their hearts.  I bring this sad fact up because on occasion I visit a caring bridge site of a dear friend and Tony's godfather. He passed away over 123 days ago.. I know this number because his wife counts up as I count down. I can only read her thoughts and pray... that she feels Joe in her heart. I know he loved her as immensely as I love Bill. I know that they were blessed to have what time God gave them. For you D---- I will celebrate each day I have with Bill and try to not complain about his absence. I will try but I also know that you know me well enough to laugh at that comment. You need to know that you inspire me daily and we love you.
Happy Birthday Joe Lucia... belated yes (March 7, 1968)... but I know that the rains today are you washing down the floors of heaven after one kick ass party!


Hug the ones you love and cherish every moment you share even if you share via phone and skype. They are still moments.

Bill- Keep safe... I need you home. I need you with me and the kids. There is no other option. That said... helmet and flak at all times.. who cares that it is over 88 degrees and you will be sweaty. Stinky may keep you safe!!!!!

the projects have commenced...............Day 294+

The phase two of deployment is running smoothly for me. I am on autopilot and I am cruising along. That is when I  got hit in the head by the the project nazi ... This is that insane little person that runs around in your head telling you that you should be completing something BIG!! After all,  your husband is far away working ungodly hours and you are doing what? Yep... this person showed up on Friday last week and has not left yet. If you are my friend and neighbor... you will come soon to help me squash him. I refer to this as a him, because a women would not ever find these things as fun!

Friday was a beautiful day and this should have tipped me off., some call it spring fever...  I call it battle of the project nazi. I had plants bought and digging to do. I told myself I was only going to dig in some bushes...that resulted in about 6 hours of full fledged replanting of pots and plants in my garden. I could not stop, the PN (project Nazi) was yelling for me to go on. I raked up all the pine needles in the front garden and am ready for mulch now. I planted over 3 flats of flowers, dug up 4 dead bushes, potted strawberries, and planted replacement bushes. Neighbors  showed up for happy hour and I entertained them with my raking and digging skills. How much fun am I? I was on a mission and it had to be completed. I know Bill is happy to be where he is.. he hates the PN too!
Fast forward to yesterday.... beautiful 80 degree weather, kids out of school early... great day to play!! Nope... the PN is still winning the battle in my head. I dig up 27 large stepping stones that have been in place for a good 15 years. I could not see several of them as they had dropped into the earth only to be claimed by my craziness. They are a good 20lbs each if not more... today they feel like 50 lbs each..my arms are screaming! I dig all these giant stones up and move them to the house and a patio is built. Yep all in one day... ok so the last row needs to be leveled out today. My mind is winning today because I do not hear the PN screaming at me to finish ..... I wonder if this will be left for Bill as a token of our need of him. I will take pics today and get them posted here so you can see the destruction..aka patio. Now, when you dig something up that is large, a hole is left behind. Yep, I am now the proud owner of dirt hole stepping stones. They line up all they way to my mailbox. I now not only need to level the patio, I need to go find a truckload of dirt to fill the holes in. I never said my PN was smart. I assume that the PN will return this afternoon and I will be driving Bill's truck to the dirt pile and yes...loading my own dirt into the truck and then unloading at the house. The weather man just said rain is on its way... I am not looking forward to small swimming pools in my backyard for the kids to play in. The PN is coming.. I hear him running in my head and screaming at me now!!!!!!!!!!!

 patio almost done.... last 2 rows getting worked on leveling.. but I was done for the day

 holes where stones once were

patio as I started laying the stones

 pic of the dead bushes I dug up

 one of the 3 window boxes I did

Bill,
Be sure to come home... your R&R dates may not be soon enough.. your home is under attack the PN is here and wielding a full assault on my head! Lord help me and your children... you know he will soon have his hand on them to participate in this fun!
Bring your helmet and your shovel.... one too wear and one to hit me over the head with!
Stay safe and stay strong.... come home soon. Crazy is running around here now.

Day 296+...woohooo

Ok seeing as how I had a girls night out on Saturday mixed in with some great logistics on kid placement and such....I was too busy to blog... my life was actually moving very fast the last couple of days and now I have dropped below 300 days!!!!!  WOOHOO!!! I will count this as a blessing. Over 65 days have passed and I am not in a straight jacket, my kids are healthy (knock on wood), no major appliance issue (knock on wood), and no big catastrophes (knock on wood.. yes I woke up the house knocking)...yet!! I will take it. I will take it and run with it and be happy.
During the last 65 days I have been the mom, the cook, the maid, the driver, the financier, the counselor and the referee...only to name a few and I survived. You can call me in another 65 days to see if I am still managing.
I am not saying there have not been some tough days here and there, but overall... life is good. Heck even the cat has survived... now that is saying something. He is sticking it out for Bill to return.
I have been fortunate to talk with Bill frequently, I will say this.. I am elated I get to hear his voice and rant about nonsense in my life... but nothing will be quite right here in this home until I can hold him again. Friends around me are in the last weeks of their deployments and the yellow ribbons and flags are decorating their homes.. it looks amazing. It makes you smile! I am happy for my friends and I can say this without envy... I am truly happy for them... I just made it past 65 days....WOOHOO!!!!

Bill-
I can appreciate your need to tell me about your venture to town.. but hello a girl would like a souvenir... they gotta have something right??? I heard they have poppy there.... is that a kind of chocolate?? Is it a special poppy seed I can use on my muffins? I am awaiting my souvenir from RI to arrive any day. My bubble remains intact and all negative news is being thwarted when presented. Stay safe... I love you and need you home. More pictures please.... and none of them better have you wearing a cheesy mustache!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am not a mean mom..... I have tried looking scary, I have tride bribery... Day 301+

I know I have talked about my parenting skills and how the mean mom is here... well I am thinking I am not so mean.
Over the weekend my oldest says to me "Mom, I am out of money, I only have $5.00 left." To which I reply, "Where did your money go?"  You see my son pays for nothing. He has not been shopping, he hates to do that. He goes to school, he goes to golf, he goes to soccer... then he heads home and hangs out here. What on earth can he be spending money on? I quickly think, Oh crap... is he buying things online... not a rational thought, he has no credit or debit card. I do not think they have made a computer with the ability to slide a dollar bill into it yet. On further discussion he points out that he gets food everyday at the snack shop at the golf course....hello you are there from 3-5pm... I have dinner here at the house and you eat second of it every night. Do you have a intestinal worm? He also points out that he has been paying for his haircuts...hmm... Okay I am guilty I have had him use his own cash twice, I never carry any and well he has cash because it usually comes from me when I pay him for babysitting. I think why not just have him pay and then I can OWE him.... I am not so good at paying him back. Note to my friends... you have to keep me honest. It is not like I am not going to pay, it truly is that I forget. He does say that his Dad had him pay as well before he left. This makes my head slightly tilt to the left. This is not like Bill, he is more apt to have cash or take the time to go to the ATM at the barber shop... hello he usually had his haircut at the same time. Do I think a white lie is going on... absolutely. I did send an email to Bill for verification and yep.. my husband did pay each time. I am now slightly ticked that my son tried to swindle more money from me..but proud because that was just smart. Play the parents against each other and come on, one is in Afghanistan. I did let him read the email his Dad sent in regards to my question and he just shrugged. Now I have a he said, he said situation going on. Do I trust my husbands recollection or my sons. Come on I can not remember to pay things back, is it possible that while my husband was mentally preparing for his year deployment that maybe just maybe he had to borrow money too? We are forty and my son is only fourteen... I know my memory was much better then.

What did I do you ask....... I gave him a twenty and said..call it even and no more borrowing from us. See not so mean!!! Sorry honey, I think you have an amazing brain but I was put in a situation and needed the easy way out.
Now my solution to my kid blowing all his money on food is this. I tell him that I buy tons of food every week. If he is that hungry take some with him for a snack. Spending his on food is ridiculous and not real smart. I also say that I will pay him $20 a week to do his chores..... we have tried in the past to set up allowance and seeing as how I never have cash.. it did not work out so well. I know of others who have bank accounts for their kids and they have an automatic transfer set up.. that is great...but I have mentioned to my kids that they are part of this house and living here comes with responsibilities that I should not have to pay them for. They should be doing these chores as a member of the household. I point out that I buy them what they need and even what they want as a token of my appreciation. My kids do not go without, trust me on this. If I had to pay them and then they had to buy their own items.... it would take them quite too long to save enough to actually buy things that I currently get them. Trust me... what they want is never cheap and I am the one getting screwed here. I am okay with that..please just do not make me give you cash!!!  Are my kids spoiled, yes! Are they brats, NO! I think I have balanced this equation out well.

Back to Sal...  I am now bribing him to actually do his chores. His room is a pit and his bathroom truly makes a truck stop look clean. How hard is it to keep a room clean especially one the size of a closet. The deal with the $20 is this... If  I  have to tell him at all during the week to do his chores... he loses his cash. I explained it by saying that if he had a job and his boss constantly told him what to do, he would be fired. I can't exactly fire him,  but I can not pay him. I think I am so smart .... I now he will fail... he is horrible at cleaning. Yep... this started on Sunday... on Tuesday I asked him if he thinks I should pay him this week... he looked at me and said probably not. I then asked if I could go in his room to see how well he has done.. he says... you might not want to look!!! I have never seen his room as bad as it is..... guess bribing him made him just get lazier and more dirty.
I am looking for caution tape... if you have any please send my way I need to quarantine his room.

Bill-
No worries on the home front.  The only person potentially needing help is your son. I am not scary enough to get him to do his chores, I even tried using money to bribe him. We have no worries..our bank account will continue to grow... he truly will never be paid!
Stay safe in RI... feel free to take pics of less fortunate individuals and how they live... so maybe I can guilt our son into cleaning!

What we share!! Day 303+

I am cruising right along with this deployment... I am blessed with the fact that my husband is fortunate to call home frequently.. I hate to say this.. but sometimes it is too frequent. I love ya honey, but seriously it has been 62 days thus far and you have not figured out the time zone difference. You know how hectic life is in this house during the morning rush to school, after school sport dash, dinner time, and bedtime..... seriously.... why is it that that is the only time you can call??????  I do not mean to sound ungrateful.. I know several wives whom get little contact... but I am not in their shoes... I am wearing mine today and this is my problem. I think Bill has a form of radar that he is able to pick up on when life is crazy here and that is when he must call. I  must be sending him some form of brain wave during high stress and or conversations about him.... what else could it be??  Here is my example.... yesterday I was out to lunch with friends for a birthday celebration...yes we started to talk about our men.. this is what we do! I had just mentioned that my hubby would not put up with something and that he had a pair.... at that moment my phone rings and it is Bill... right on cue when discussing his pair! The conversation at the table was starting to go a bit crazy and slightly dirty and of course Bill did hear a snippet... now I know he said goodbye completely red faced and wanting out of the conversation.... even miles away our men really do not want to know what we talk about. Later in the evening we reconnected again and his first question to me was..... How in the hell did that come up??? I only laughed and proceeded to mortify him with the conversation that almost had us peeing in our pants. Yes.... I love the girls I was with.. thanks for making me laugh and making me forget just how serious life is for a moment. Thanks for helping me embarrass my husband from afar... This is my tactic.. the longer he stays away the more embarrassing stories I can share without him defending himself. I think that that alone would make him want to come home sooner and safe.

Bill-
Hurry home.. I have a large repertoire I can pull from in regards to embarrassing moments and crazy thoughts. I usually just replay these things with you..but since I can not readily do so, my neighbors and friends will benefit!!!
Take care... keep helmet and flak on with gun in hand. You may need them to fend off the brain waves I send!

Friends.............Day 308+

WOW!!!
I must say that friends are a huge part of my life. My friends mean the world to me. As a military spouse we not only endure spousal separations but friendship separations.  These separations from our friends have us crying with moves and then celebrating because we realize a friend from years ago is moving back with us. We make new friends and  we cherish our lifetime friends. We hope with each move that we encounter women whom will encourage us, love us and make us laugh. I have been blessed with meeting and becoming friends with some of the most amazing women. They have all been a blessing and each one has brought something different to the friendship. Each of them have a quality that I only hope to emulate.

Over the last couple of weeks, friends from the past have reached out and reconnected with me. I miss these friends and I miss the time in which we were close. It was great to see you Ms. M.... you look great and it did not seem like 5 years had past!!! Sorry you could not make it to my home Ms. A... I will invade you this summer!  Yes... for my friends reading this..should you be near my home and not stop in even if just to say Hi... me and my clan of crazy kids will invade you.. we will crash on your living room floor. So, should you not want chaos.. just stop by.
No... my friends who now think this a game and plan on being near me and not stopping,  just to get me to visit....NO!!! That is not how it works.


I am blessed with great woman.. you all have made me who I am today and I thank each and every one of you.

Bill-
I am thinking that when you call and ask for soap and tell me you are out of it..  that could be a problem.... it does take up to 4 weeks or so for a pkg... Hello...STINKY!!!!
Thank goodness you are sleeping alone!

Stay safe and being a horrible smelling Marine is one way to fend off the enemy.

Reasons I follow my husband and support his career.......Day 310+

There are days when...........I question why I am okay with the career choice my husband has made. I question why I follow him every 3 years to a new location. I question why I have given up my career goals for his. I question why..... a lot when he is not home AND then I make a list ...
Here are only a few reasons to the questions above....

1. He loves ..... to his core!!
2. He is honest... to a fault.
3. He has an immense amount of integrity.
4. He believes in God and places him above all else... yes even if he does not attend mass... he believes.
5. He is strong... yes honey you have one hot bod! LOL
6. He believes in his job and loves his country.. he loves the Corps and loves his job
7. He would die for his fellow Marines... I hate this but it truly makes me proud....
8. He is noble
9. He is my best friend
10. He is humble.... if only I could emulate this as you do.
11. He is not jealous
12. He is forgiving
13. He is an amazing father
13. He is mine!!!!!!!!

This list is only a few of the attributes of my husband...  I am sure if I was not working on day 55 of single motherhood I could come up with  more... but hey I never said he was perfect!!!

Bill-
You are my split apart- my soul mate-........... stay safe.. wear your helmet and flak and by all means DO NOT LEAVE THE CAMP!!!!

the have's and have not's...............day 312+

In the military there are several different jobs. The Marines call them MOS's... I call them jobs. This is where you specialize into a particular job field. You can be a cook, a lawyer, a mechanic, a pilot, or a grunt just to name a few. The military is a large corporation and like all corporations they have levels of employees with different skill sets. All of these skill sets are needed to make this corporation run smoothly, the problem is that sometimes our Marines and their spouses forget this basic concept.
There are men and women in Afghanistan that are fighting for our countries safety and security on different levels. Some are in  the thick of the battle fighting with weapons, while others are not. Their skill set requires them to be in a behind the scenes role. This allows them to be in a camp that has running water and possibly a bathroom. Are they any less a part of the fight??? NO!  Some  have the ability to use the internet and call home while some are in the field with no access... does that make them less important?? NO!   It takes a strong and solid base to allow the spear to fight. I only hope that spouses and members of our forces can remember that... there is not one single more important Marine than the next. Everyone has a job to do and as a collective they are mighty, but as a singular entity they are weak.
I say this because.... if you are that spouse wanting to wear a badge of honor because your husband is in "the thick of it" go ahead.. it is not that glorious of a badge  ... most of our husbands on the grunt side have "been there done that".... we spouses are hard to impress. I am proud of those spouse who have a loved one in the hardened battle... I am proud of you for bearing the hardest deployment of your life.... I am proud of you.... do you hear me.... now move on and be happy he is surrounded by a large entity of highly skilled people that have his back. My husband is one of them... he has your husbands back and trust me... I have yours... can we now quit comparing the have and have nots of  the deployment. Talk freely about how this is hard for you, I will listen, I will hug... but in return you must be willing to hear that I do talk to my husband, he does have access...and you have to be happy for me. We are both dealing with a deployment regardless of length or location of our spouse, this unites us.  Let us support one another and not compare. I can recall being in your shoes and if I can not ... I can listen with utter love and support for you.

 
disclaimer..... no there is not a person I am referring to here... but it is a topic that has come up quite often lately and this was my spin on it.

 Bill-
 I love that you can call and email me. I love you!!! I miss you!
Mister is waiting for your return, please know that if  you take too long there could other furry additions to the household. The kids are begging me and I am a sucker.. you are the one that usually has my back when I say no...hmmm...

Military spouse survival into phase two... my list of accomplishments,....Day 316+

Phase two of  the spousal survival in a deployment. I have reached this milestone, here is proof:
I have mailed a package.
I have cried and hit rock bottom.
I survived my rock bottom...at least that one! (we all know you may have several moments like those)
I have had a meeting with teachers.
I have fixed household items.
I have screamed at my kids and they still love me.
I have started to fall asleep at night before 1:00am.
I have gotten up early to get the kids off to school and to date they have not been late! (remember I hate mornings)
I have completed the final steps for Bills life insurance.
I have managed to get all my kids to all events... ok maybe not all on time.. but hey they were there.
I have celebrated a birthday without Bill and my child was happy.. not sad because Daddy was not here.
I have managed a rental house issue by myself. 
I have gotten sick and managed all the daily tasks.
My kids have been sick and I have managed all the daily tasks. ( I think it is harder when they are sick than when I am)
I have pushed back that fear of the unknown so far..that now I eat...I eat a lot!
I have embraced being lonely and it no longer haunts me.
I no longer cry in the shower.... I only break down when the doorbell rings late at night.
I have watched friends say farewell to their loved ones... and I did not cry.. I did not internalize and dredge up my farewell.
I have made it to my doctors appointment and .... well... I am at home...so that means...........................
I have remained sane enough to not be institutionalized.... I know several of you may beg to differ... thanks!

What I have yet to do... but seeing as how autopilot of phase two is working..this should be easy right?

I have not buried a pet.... yes Mister is still kicking.. we do poke him occasionally just to be sure he is breathing.
I have not filed our taxes.
I have not watched my neighbors rejoice when their husbands arrive home... this will be joyous.... but also a reminder that mine is not amongst them.
I have not packaged another box up yet..... I have a big issue with sending mail... not sure what that block is... but I know it is completely emotional and unfounded.
I have not had a girls night out.... this does not include Bunco... I am talking about a night out that you can tie one on and just cut loose with that friend .. you know the one friend whom you trust enough to see you tie one on.... not sure if waterworks will come... but she is ready in case they do. thank you Shannon for planning this one.. I can not wait!



I am sure I have left items off the have done and also the have yet to do... but hey it is 830am and I am only on my 1st cup of coffee. Did you truly expect it to be perfect?


Bill-
Hoping all is well with you. Hoping you have not stubbed your toe on big boulders late at night while trying to find the god awful port a potty. Will be sending bandaids and thick rubber soled slippers....ok... maybe I will,  when I send another box.. please do not hold your breath!!!! 
I would now like to see this so called tent/bunk room you live in. Are you sure you are not living it large at a four seasons? I believe you said you eat out every meal... this would mean you are at an all inclusive resort right?

It is the small things that make your heart stop ..Day 319+

You all know you have done it.. you all have enjoyed that crazy rush when you were young and you ran up to a friends door late at night not to actually talk with them but to DING DONG DITCH them. You giggled, you ran, you hid... you had a blast doing it.
I am now that parent who hates ding dong ditching. I find it to be mean and unthoughtful. I say this because to a military spouse whose husband is deployed, it is. This is how it feels on the other side of the door. It is 11pm or later, and you are beginning to tire. You have just sent an email to your husband telling him how much you miss him and worry about his safety.  You have checked on the kids and they are all sound asleep.  The doorbell rings... instant fear creeps in to your head and your heart drops to your stomach. You slowly walk to the door not wanting to open it up, not wanting to see who is on the other side. You know your kids are in and safe. You know that no one should be ringing the bell so late unless....... unless it is for some horrible reason, this could be the notification about your husbands life.

No matter how much I keep myself protected by my bubble, no matter how much I pretend..... the fear of that notification stays buried deep in my mind until I get to hold Bill again, until I get to touch him, smell him and see his smile. 
That being said.... I hate ding dong ditchers... I appeal to every parent out there to explain the fear that this game places on ones heart late at night. It could be notification of a loved ones death, it could be the boogeyman.... these are the only two options the pre deployment brief prepared me for!
I beg of you all to remind these pranksters, as fun as it is and as exhilarating the rush may be... the heartache and fear they have invoked on the other side of the door is unmeasurable. Their friend whom they think they are doing it to...does not even hear it, for he is asleep and dreaming. The parent, however, will not sleep that night or any night until they hear from their spouse. For some, this could be weeks and others may only wait a day or two.

I am not going to sit idly by and allow this to keep happening and after a great suggestion by a friend......... beware! She suggested that I alter my doorbell so it has the ability to give a jolt or two. Not enough to place permanent harm to someone but enough to make them not want to press it again.  The pranksters, the bogeyman and the CACO (casualty assistance calls officer aka person notifying you of a death... the real bogeyman) all deserve a shock or two. My heart will have already had one if they arrive. To my friends and neighbors, please knock.... I would hate that my doorbell shocked you!

Bill-
Stay safe... thus far I have kept the bogeyman at bay. I am calling housing on Monday to see if they can offer me some assistance with my doorbell project. I know you worry about my safety when I begin working with electrical power.
Be sure to NOT ring the doorbell when you come home!!!!

The parents...aka granparents leave tomorrow .. Day 321+

My parents leave tomorrow after 10 glorious days of having help. My dad was up early with the kids... I hate mornings. He made the kids their lunches and always prefaced it with, "you know kids when I leave you are back to doing this yourself, do not expect your mom to."  Gotta love that my dad knows me well. He would greet me quietly every morning... basically he would nod until after I had my first cup of coffee. Gotta love him for knowing me well.
My mom played games with the kids and helped them do their homework every night. I did not have to sit and hear phonetic sounds emulating out of my daughter as she tried to sound out words she did not know. This requires patience and on some days when I am just done.... this can be a task. My mom made homemade chicken soup and beef stew....yum!!  My parents took us out for dinner twice, this is a treat and one I love!
Based on what I have said above.. I was pampered for 10 whole days.. I had someone taking care of the kids in the mornings and someone taking care of them in the evenings. I sure hope I do not go through parent withdrawal like I did Bill withdrawal. It is a good thing I have the whole weekend of running around with soccer and basketball and cheer to remind me of how hectic my life is.

Thank you mom and dad.... I have loved every minute. Thank you Dad for doing chores off the honey do list... wait...I think Bill should be saying thanks for that one.

Bill-
No worries, as much as I loved having my parents here to help.... I am not packing up and moving to Florida quite yet.  I will be here waiting for your return. I only ask that you do not resort to the "thunder bottles".  I refuse to allow that into my home upon your return. Be careful and stay safe.... let me know if dietary fiber is needed in your quest for the small things in life.

Parent meeting with the teachers... this is a rant!!! ....Day 321+

I believe I am the most ineffective parent when it comes to teacher conferences, especially when it truly matters. I met with my freshman's honor teachers yesterday to discuss his grade and to ask for them to assist me in his learning. I find it sad that I had to ask, but I believe that these two teachers are the ones that we all hated in school. You know the ones, they find one pet and that is the only A they give. I believe they grade harshly with the understanding that if a child wants a B...they will eat, sleep and dream only their subject. The learning I received from teachers such as this was..... that life is unfair, you do things to please another regardless of your belief, you struggle for no reason in a class that will mean absolutely nothing in 10 years (remember my rule of 10s).
I believe that these teachers do not have any child's best interest at heart and I believe that they are great at saying one thing and then reacting another. Maybe they can read my blog and fail me and my writing style. Maybe they will read my blog and do an inner search on how they teach. Maybe they will read my blog and remember what it was like to be in a class like theirs. Maybe they will find the truth about being an educator... that it should be about the student learning, it should be about helping a student, it should be about mentoring young minds.....not about proving how smart they are and how inept we parents are.

I know several of you Lejeune parents have encountered these two teachers... I know several have negative feelings. I truly have no negative feelings...I just want them to teach my son. I want them to truly want to see him excel. I want them to love their jobs...and if they do not then they should move on. This truly applies to all teachers...if you dislike what you do, you are doing a disservice to Americas youth!!! 


I was playing by the rules. I was sitting back waiting and watching you and trying to stay off your back like you asked in our first meeting. Now I am now going to be overly involved in my freshmans homework.. which I believe is a bad tactic seeing as how he has 4 years to figure things out before he heads to college. Thank you honors teachers for not assisting him in his growth in regards to personal time management, thank you for not taking the added interest in a child and allowing him to slip, thank you for pointing out it was my fault...I should have kept up on grade speed (online grade and assignment page), thank you for not taking that extra step with a child, thank you for not following through with what I asked on week 2 (I asked for you to help me help him stay on task and focused). I would have thought I need not spell out to you that an email when he has 3 late assignments would be nice.... I swear you asked me to step away from grade speed  and allow him time to manage his grade as a whole... I did my part and now his grade has suffered.
Thank you ...Thank you... Thank you.....

I have now decided that the DODEA school system has significant flaws.. I am not sure how I get them changed, but I will take any and all suggestions. I am willing to start the petition in regards to honors classes not being weighted. I am done watching children whom are intelligent and strive to better themselves by taking the harder course sit behind another whom took the easy class in regards to class rank. I am done with your thinking that kids are equal in grades in regards to honors class v. basic English or whatever subject.  I am done with your way of thinking that a college will see beyond the GPA and notice a honors course.There are several academic scholarships that require an 4.0 and above GPA and now our children will not be able to apply courtesy of your standard.  I am done with you thinking it is okay... I am just done.

I am also done with DODEA standards in regards to sports.... at what point did you lose sight of a well rounded child.  When did someone think that hiring a coach yearly would help the transient children of your school? How is it okay for our sports to not have daily practices and yet the coach does not lose pay for the day? Who said athletics ever worsened a child's behavior or mentality? Did you lose sight of how great a child's application for both college and scholarships looks when you see that they were part of extra curriculars. Did you lose sight that we have some great athletes among us and they are at a dis service when you provide nothing for them in regards to coaching and training. They may not receive an academic scholarship... so why are we not trying to enable those who can the opportunity to achieve an athletic one. At the high school level you should be allocating monies for any and all areas that can enable our children the opportunity for a higher level education. This does not always come in the form of only book education, it can come in the form of sports and in the arts. Wake up.... allow our high schools to be well rounded like you say you want our kids!!!!


I am willing to call and send emails daily to those in positions that can assess teaching styles that are ineffective and are causing our children to suffer. If you know where I should start..please let me know.
I have found a cause... trust me there are many.. .but one that is worth my fight is when it pertains to my kids.


Disclaimer:::  Some of the best teachers my kids have had are DODEA teachers. I truly love them for taking that extra step with all of their students, especially with mine. Thank you all.. you know who you are.
In regards to the teachers in my rant... I believe you both are wonderful teachers in your area of expertise.. I am hoping that you will now take that extra step in your teaching and show how much you care about your profession and your kids.

Phase two of a deployment......Day 323+...

It has arrived. I am now on phase two of this deployment.. I truly am not sure how many phases there are but hey I figure I should celebrate moving on from phase one. You know the phase of uncertainty, mixed emotions, guilt and chaos.  I am now on autopilot. My kids are now on autopilot. We all have a silent understanding of what we are supposed to do and what will be tolerated. I like this phase thus far. I could do without some lingering episodes from phase one...such as my dishwasher!!!!  Seriously, how hard is it for housing to arrive when they say they will. I just want them to just look at it. Do they not realize for me to be complete I MUST have a dishwasher... I guess my new dishwasher will be all the rage in the WW (Winston/Wavell) hood. Yes, be jealous... it is not a whirlpool, it is not a Maytag, it is not a Jenn-air...it is SAL!!!!!!!!
He is available weekdays after 8pm. Let me know what your address is and I will send him right over. You will love how clean and shiny your dishes and glassware become. He is even talented enough to hum while cleaning and there is no extra charge for that entertainment. This chore, is the silent expectation.... too bad he did not get the memo...for now it seems to be Grandpa............what will I do when he leaves ?


Bill-
Hold on to the fort in Afghanistan...I believe that housing is trying to make me feel your pain by having me hand wash dishes....UGH!!! You know how much I love camping and I fear that soon I will have to resort to that style of living. Happy you are safe and that the men around you are as well.
Stay safe and for the love of GOD.... clean your desk....

to my readers.... ....hint...hint.... canned air and dusters would be a rage ..... I think these would be great pkg items!