OK, so now that I am officially up and running and doing this blog thing. I ask all of you readers to understand this about me. I am not your typical person. I am a very strong willed being and I speak what I think and a lot of the time that may be politically incorrect, hurtful, and just down right truthful. I have a huge heart and I guard it well. I get hurt a lot but I will not show it. I will not allow you, the person that hurt me to see it. My intentions are never mean or hurtful, but because of my inability to process inside my head, sometimes the things I say come out wrong and well they sound mean and hurtful. I work very hard at not doing this to anyone I care about and even to perfect strangers. I tend to get along better with men because they are not as emotionally driven as women (sorry ladies). Men hear what I say and take it at face value, nothing said with any hidden agenda or meaning. Women on the other hand, well sorry we are an emotional sort and not all of you but a lot of women twist what you say and project their own ideas and thoughts to it. So... if what I said just offended you, I will apologize this one and only time... I am sorry.
Yes, I do have some wonderful women friends... because they love me for me and understand this part of me. To them...THANK YOU AND I LOVE YOU!
That being said please if you read my blog and try to internalize how you think I should or might be feeling, don't. Those feelings you are placing on me are not mine, they are yours. I will tell you how I feel when I want to and I will try very hard to be honest about my emotions. I am not trying to gain your pity. I am not trying to compete with you and your abilities as a military spouse. I know many women whose husband have deployed more often and longer than mine. Deployments are not a measure into a man or a family, they are the means to an end. To the end of a war. To those who have sacrificed more often than I, I stand beside you proud to call you a friend. I stand beside you because that is what I do, that is what we spouses do, we stand beside each other and hold hands. We support in every and any manner in which we can. I write this blog to share, not to compete with you, but to share with friends and family what I am doing and how I am feeling.
I say this because we military spouses tend to not want to vent or complain or "share" with other military spouses if their spouse has been gone longer, if their spouse is going for a shorter period, if they have more kids, if they have no kids, if their spouse is deployed out of a combat area, if their spouse is in a hot zone. You get the idea right, we wear , for a better term, battle scars... These are just scars and we all have them and we should be able to share regardless of how many or how few. I am going to own this deployment and what it means to ME and my family. I want you, my fellow friends and military spouses to continue to share with me. I want you military spouses to own your separation as well. Do not compare ours, they are completely different because we are, the only common variable is that we married men/women who devoted their lives to our country. You are entitled to feel how you feel and entitled to complain whenever you need to. I am no better and no worse than anyone and I want the freedom to speak, to speak without comparing battle scars. Lord knows, I plan on speaking a lot! I enjoy hearing about your husband and your family, so continue to do so. Vent if he is home or if he is away. Don't not talk to me about your family because it is whole right now. That is the worst thing you can do, treat me differently.
No Pity needed and No Judging allowed!!!! I am doing my best, it may not be what you would feel or do, but it is mine. I am owning every bit of it!!!
With all that said, I want to thank all of you for your kind words of encouragement and your prayers. I ask that you pray for Bill and for all the troops safety until they are home in the arms of loved ones.
O Almighty and merciful God, who has commissioned your angels to guide and protect us, may they be our companions from our setting out until our return. Clothe us with their invisible protection; keep from us all danger of collision, of fire, of explosion, of falling; and finally,having preserved us from all evil, and especially from sin, guide us to our heavenly home. Through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen
Bill, my absolutely amazing and handsome husband has left for a one year plus tour to Afghanistan with RCT8. He is a Marine, a dad and a husband. This blog is for me, his wife to share the trials of being a military spouse.
Amen ;-)
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