How do kids cope??? Day 358+

Kids.... they are the most resilient of creatures, they are the smartest of creatures, they are amazing!


My kids thus far have been amazing in dealing with Dad's departure. One week down and no significant outbursts of emotions or fighting (I said significant). They seem to be adjusting well. We talk about Dad the same amount as we did before he left....yes he remains the butt of most jokes around here.  What I did notice is that I checked Bills fb wall and noticed Sam had sent him a cute I miss you message. He is able to communicate with Dad but I found it odd he posted a tag. That is not like Sam, so he must be feeling a form of separation and just dealing with it internally. Hmmmm... I might need to watch a bit more closely to see if other signs get dropped. You see, kids just go, they go with whatever they are given. They respond in turn to how I respond. If I am sad, they are sad. If I am happy and carefree, they are happy and carefree. So, I am putting on the strong front and keeping my fears to myself. Ok...some of you know my fears...we just do not speak about them (I am a bit superstitious).

Sal is dealing well, but I noticed something yesterday. He is making breakfast sandwiches now... this is a kid that only knew how to make french toast or at least only showed that one ability. Breakfast sandwiches are something Bill would do for the kids and me. He always made breakfast for them on the weekends. My lack of cooking was discussed yesterday and well breakfast and me...not a good combination at all. Back to Sal and his cooking....hmmm... he made sandwiches for Sam today. WOW!! I think that is awesome but I also realize that this is how Sal is dealing with Dad being gone. He is fixing comfort food. Fixing something that reminds him of Dad. He is also stepping up and providing comfort to his brother in the form of a sandwich. This makes me both proud and sad at the same time. My oldest is growing up and I am seeing it, he is showing it to me in the simple form of sharing. Sharing a breakfast moment with his brother like they would do with Dad. This is a milestone.... just not a toddler or infant one... and once again, Bill is missing it!

Cami and Tony are doing well, they are quarreling a bit more than usual and the bed wetting is back..UGH!!! This is one form of separation I could do without. I know this one well and remember it from previous deployments and moves. The problem is that the two of them share a room and for some reason have decided to take turns on who should wet the bed (please keep this to yourself, my 3rd grader would be mortified if friends found out). I deal with this form by treating it as I would even if Dad was around. I tell them this is not okay. That they are big kids and need to wake up and use the bathroom. I do not start asking the questions of; are you okay? are you missing dad?  This would only give my kids (smart as they are) a good excuse to use and then they would take complete advantage and realize they can blame every bad action on this. I know my kids are smart and I got this one. Give them nothing to use in their arsenal of excuses including a deployment. Treat them the same and expect them to behave the same. This will get you through. I at least tell myself this is true.
The other thing that the two are doing is quarrleing. I think it stems from Tony thinking he needs to be Cami's keeper. This will not work well, she is too much like me and well.. no one is my keeper! I will need to explain she will be fine and that I got this one. I can handle her so he can just enjoy her.

Day 358 and counting down!!!
Stay safe Bill, we need you home in one piece to cook breakfast and change bed sheets and of course to HUG!