Day 364+

Today was the official start of being a single parent for the next year.
So far, It is looking up. I do think I should be thankful to God though, he did have my back this morning and over the last two days. Yes, I said he. In my minds eye,  God is a man! I will explain why he had my back. It snowed a lot here in NC over the last two days, which is odd. I can only believe it was God granting my kids and me more time with Bill. He had to have heard our hearts weeping for more time.. more hugs... more kisses.... just more. We got it.. we got it in the form of snow and ice. Coastal NC was shut down including the base. We were able to hang out and watch movies, play games, play in the snow and just be a family. Yesterday when Bill left, we got to hang out with him until the bus pulled away with no care to teachers or schoolwork. Could I truly ask for more... yes and I was blessed with it. God and Bill both know I hate mornings...I truly hate them. I am not meant to wake up before  7am and I am not meant to be happy prior to 7am. I am meant to sleep. I am a night owl and therefore I require later mornings. I am going to have to adjust this morning thing now that Bill is not home. Bill was the one who woke at 5am to wake up my older boys. He was the one in charge of making lunches. Now that falls on me,  God was kind enough to allow me to gracefully except this by giving my kids a 2 hour delay and therefore allowing me my 7am wake-up. THANK YOU LORD it truly is the small things in life!

My kids did great this morning and I hope they continue their ways through this evening. I do take my life day by day and can only hope for repeats in the days ahead. They all got dressed and ate breakfast without me having to tell them to do so 100 times. Sal made it to school and did not forget anything, he tends to forget a lot. I volunteered in Cami's class and my day went as any other Wednesday should go.


I did not cry openly today. Ok, so a small tear escaped when I looked over in my room an noticed Bill had left his green cammies laying on the cedar chest. Yes.. I did go smell them. Yes... they smell like Bill and that is when a tear escaped me. I miss him already. I then moved quickly into my bubble and decided that I should not be sad, I should be upset that by goodness he did not put away his laundry. What was he thinking???? Does he not realize just how this would upset me. Maybe he left them out....to see if I put them away! I now have a new goal.... to NOT put his laundry away and let it sit on my cedar chest for the year. :) I think I might be good at this game.  I wonder what else he has left for me to find?