Bubble intact.. check ! Day 357+

I am not sure what I was thinking last evening. No that is not true,  I know what started my thinking.  A neighbor had asked where Bill was and when I mentioned where... his comment was oh yeah, things are getting started there!! Hello... need I finish that comment? This is truly when it started, my mind started to hum but I was busy. I still had kids to feed, practice to get them to, bedtime rituals etc..Once the kids were in bed and  the house was quiet, it hit me, Bill is away for quite awhile. There are a million things I can do but why. I am queen procrastinator and my curiosity was now peaked. So instead of keeping busy, I wandered the internet. HMMMM... this is a warning to all my military spouse friends...STAY AWAY from Google, keep your fingers busy on FB or other non news sites. Whatever you do, do not type in the location of where your spouse is. The information you receive may not be what you have placed in your mind. My bubble of denial and safe haven was rocked last evening. I was reading new articles albeit some were from last year...but crap my bubble was staring to really weaken. I then got linked into a blog by a military widow...UGH!!! I guess I was trying to pop my bubble and get on with this separation. Now don't get me wrong here...the blog I read was by an amazing woman. No fault to her, but I should not have been reading this.
I fault only myself for last evening. I broke rule #4 of military spouse code of survival. I watched/read news articles about my husbands location.  What was I thinking. We all know that to survive you must ignore the news outlets. You must stick your head in the sand. Now, there are some that want this informatin and fair well with it during a deployment. I am not one of those. I believe in the saying that ignorance is bliss.
So today, I am clearing my mind and blowing my bubble bigger. I need it and I almost popped it on week one.

So with that, I am going to hold my spine straight and move forward. I am going to ignore the news and fight hard to not let my fingers wander on google. If you have any information about where or what my husband is doing....great, please do not tell me. I will wait to hear about it from him. When I hear it from him, my bubble stays intact. He is talking to me,  therefore he is safe and that is what I hold onto.

In defense of my neighbor, he truly only made a passing statement and had no idea what the impact would be to me. Heck, I had no idea what the impact would be. I do not fault him... he is a great neighbor and a dear friend. He was just chatting with me and I needed to chat. I thank my lucky stars for the neighbors I have and know that without them I would not fair so well.

Stay safe Bill.. remember to wear your flak and your helmet at all times. I do not care how silly you look being the only one wearing it to bed!!!!!