I am not a mean mom..... I have tried looking scary, I have tride bribery... Day 301+

I know I have talked about my parenting skills and how the mean mom is here... well I am thinking I am not so mean.
Over the weekend my oldest says to me "Mom, I am out of money, I only have $5.00 left." To which I reply, "Where did your money go?"  You see my son pays for nothing. He has not been shopping, he hates to do that. He goes to school, he goes to golf, he goes to soccer... then he heads home and hangs out here. What on earth can he be spending money on? I quickly think, Oh crap... is he buying things online... not a rational thought, he has no credit or debit card. I do not think they have made a computer with the ability to slide a dollar bill into it yet. On further discussion he points out that he gets food everyday at the snack shop at the golf course....hello you are there from 3-5pm... I have dinner here at the house and you eat second of it every night. Do you have a intestinal worm? He also points out that he has been paying for his haircuts...hmm... Okay I am guilty I have had him use his own cash twice, I never carry any and well he has cash because it usually comes from me when I pay him for babysitting. I think why not just have him pay and then I can OWE him.... I am not so good at paying him back. Note to my friends... you have to keep me honest. It is not like I am not going to pay, it truly is that I forget. He does say that his Dad had him pay as well before he left. This makes my head slightly tilt to the left. This is not like Bill, he is more apt to have cash or take the time to go to the ATM at the barber shop... hello he usually had his haircut at the same time. Do I think a white lie is going on... absolutely. I did send an email to Bill for verification and yep.. my husband did pay each time. I am now slightly ticked that my son tried to swindle more money from me..but proud because that was just smart. Play the parents against each other and come on, one is in Afghanistan. I did let him read the email his Dad sent in regards to my question and he just shrugged. Now I have a he said, he said situation going on. Do I trust my husbands recollection or my sons. Come on I can not remember to pay things back, is it possible that while my husband was mentally preparing for his year deployment that maybe just maybe he had to borrow money too? We are forty and my son is only fourteen... I know my memory was much better then.

What did I do you ask....... I gave him a twenty and said..call it even and no more borrowing from us. See not so mean!!! Sorry honey, I think you have an amazing brain but I was put in a situation and needed the easy way out.
Now my solution to my kid blowing all his money on food is this. I tell him that I buy tons of food every week. If he is that hungry take some with him for a snack. Spending his on food is ridiculous and not real smart. I also say that I will pay him $20 a week to do his chores..... we have tried in the past to set up allowance and seeing as how I never have cash.. it did not work out so well. I know of others who have bank accounts for their kids and they have an automatic transfer set up.. that is great...but I have mentioned to my kids that they are part of this house and living here comes with responsibilities that I should not have to pay them for. They should be doing these chores as a member of the household. I point out that I buy them what they need and even what they want as a token of my appreciation. My kids do not go without, trust me on this. If I had to pay them and then they had to buy their own items.... it would take them quite too long to save enough to actually buy things that I currently get them. Trust me... what they want is never cheap and I am the one getting screwed here. I am okay with that..please just do not make me give you cash!!!  Are my kids spoiled, yes! Are they brats, NO! I think I have balanced this equation out well.

Back to Sal...  I am now bribing him to actually do his chores. His room is a pit and his bathroom truly makes a truck stop look clean. How hard is it to keep a room clean especially one the size of a closet. The deal with the $20 is this... If  I  have to tell him at all during the week to do his chores... he loses his cash. I explained it by saying that if he had a job and his boss constantly told him what to do, he would be fired. I can't exactly fire him,  but I can not pay him. I think I am so smart .... I now he will fail... he is horrible at cleaning. Yep... this started on Sunday... on Tuesday I asked him if he thinks I should pay him this week... he looked at me and said probably not. I then asked if I could go in his room to see how well he has done.. he says... you might not want to look!!! I have never seen his room as bad as it is..... guess bribing him made him just get lazier and more dirty.
I am looking for caution tape... if you have any please send my way I need to quarantine his room.

Bill-
No worries on the home front.  The only person potentially needing help is your son. I am not scary enough to get him to do his chores, I even tried using money to bribe him. We have no worries..our bank account will continue to grow... he truly will never be paid!
Stay safe in RI... feel free to take pics of less fortunate individuals and how they live... so maybe I can guilt our son into cleaning!

What we share!! Day 303+

I am cruising right along with this deployment... I am blessed with the fact that my husband is fortunate to call home frequently.. I hate to say this.. but sometimes it is too frequent. I love ya honey, but seriously it has been 62 days thus far and you have not figured out the time zone difference. You know how hectic life is in this house during the morning rush to school, after school sport dash, dinner time, and bedtime..... seriously.... why is it that that is the only time you can call??????  I do not mean to sound ungrateful.. I know several wives whom get little contact... but I am not in their shoes... I am wearing mine today and this is my problem. I think Bill has a form of radar that he is able to pick up on when life is crazy here and that is when he must call. I  must be sending him some form of brain wave during high stress and or conversations about him.... what else could it be??  Here is my example.... yesterday I was out to lunch with friends for a birthday celebration...yes we started to talk about our men.. this is what we do! I had just mentioned that my hubby would not put up with something and that he had a pair.... at that moment my phone rings and it is Bill... right on cue when discussing his pair! The conversation at the table was starting to go a bit crazy and slightly dirty and of course Bill did hear a snippet... now I know he said goodbye completely red faced and wanting out of the conversation.... even miles away our men really do not want to know what we talk about. Later in the evening we reconnected again and his first question to me was..... How in the hell did that come up??? I only laughed and proceeded to mortify him with the conversation that almost had us peeing in our pants. Yes.... I love the girls I was with.. thanks for making me laugh and making me forget just how serious life is for a moment. Thanks for helping me embarrass my husband from afar... This is my tactic.. the longer he stays away the more embarrassing stories I can share without him defending himself. I think that that alone would make him want to come home sooner and safe.

Bill-
Hurry home.. I have a large repertoire I can pull from in regards to embarrassing moments and crazy thoughts. I usually just replay these things with you..but since I can not readily do so, my neighbors and friends will benefit!!!
Take care... keep helmet and flak on with gun in hand. You may need them to fend off the brain waves I send!

Friends.............Day 308+

WOW!!!
I must say that friends are a huge part of my life. My friends mean the world to me. As a military spouse we not only endure spousal separations but friendship separations.  These separations from our friends have us crying with moves and then celebrating because we realize a friend from years ago is moving back with us. We make new friends and  we cherish our lifetime friends. We hope with each move that we encounter women whom will encourage us, love us and make us laugh. I have been blessed with meeting and becoming friends with some of the most amazing women. They have all been a blessing and each one has brought something different to the friendship. Each of them have a quality that I only hope to emulate.

Over the last couple of weeks, friends from the past have reached out and reconnected with me. I miss these friends and I miss the time in which we were close. It was great to see you Ms. M.... you look great and it did not seem like 5 years had past!!! Sorry you could not make it to my home Ms. A... I will invade you this summer!  Yes... for my friends reading this..should you be near my home and not stop in even if just to say Hi... me and my clan of crazy kids will invade you.. we will crash on your living room floor. So, should you not want chaos.. just stop by.
No... my friends who now think this a game and plan on being near me and not stopping,  just to get me to visit....NO!!! That is not how it works.


I am blessed with great woman.. you all have made me who I am today and I thank each and every one of you.

Bill-
I am thinking that when you call and ask for soap and tell me you are out of it..  that could be a problem.... it does take up to 4 weeks or so for a pkg... Hello...STINKY!!!!
Thank goodness you are sleeping alone!

Stay safe and being a horrible smelling Marine is one way to fend off the enemy.