So I originally thought I could blog about the things I went through over the last couple months and keep you all entertained and informed.... yep I had some very high expectations of myself. Needless to say, that won't be happening. So here is the cliff note version of what has happened over the last couple of months.... SUMMER!!!
Summer came and went. I anticipated the kick off of the summer with a visit from Bill during his R&R. It was a great kickoff. I blogged a bit on how R&R went, so lets zip right along.
A traumatic event did occur after Bill left from R&R... my old man Mister... our 20 year old cat died. He died early in the morning with me stroking his fur and praying for him to not suffer any longer. We buried him next to the other cat and placed our dogs ashes alongside him. My oldest was such the man and offered to dig the burial hole for me. He does not realize... ok now he will..... just how huge that offer was. I needed help that day in the form of someone having my back. Bill was not here and as much as I try to not lean on my oldest... I leaned on him that day. He dug a great hole.... Mister is at peace and surrounded by his animal family. He held on to say good - bye to Bill. Now I wonder what animal will be welcomed in my home next...hmmmm...
I took the kids to Florida where I spent two wonderful weeks. Part of the time I was on the beach with my parents and the rest I was at Disney. The beach and time with my parents was wonderful. It always is and I can only hope and pray that in our next chapter of life I get to live near them.
I met my dear friend Shelley and her daughter at Disney. I had the best time at Disney...I only had my younger two kids, Tony and Cami. We had a ball and during all of it.. I did feel a bit guilty. Guilty for having such a good time without Bill. He loves Disney... ok so he will not admit it.. but he does :) The kids get along so well and after a year apart they did not skip a beat. Giggles happened daily and they were exhausted by nights end. I will go back and do that again. I needed this visit with my friend. I needed my non military friend with me... the one who laughs with me, makes me laugh and who just understands me. This is not to say that I do not have other friends who do this for me, but Shelley is well Shelley. Everyone should be so lucky to have her. I love ya girl!!!
Upon returning home high school sports practice had started for my oldest and classic soccer had begun for the other two boys in the family. I was up and running as a soccer mom!!! Whew!! August flew by and school started.
I am sure there is so much more that occurred in there but due to my inability to remember much... it must be lost or currently out to lunch.
Gotta love this second stage of deployment.. I have been coasting and truly it really is flying by!!!!!
Bill-
Life is going fast and I know from your perspective it may not be.. forgive me if I have little time to talk or email... I will try to do better I promise....
I will... but only if I get more pics of you in personal protective gear. I also think I should up the ante to you staying behind a desk.... be very concerned about what I may choose as the next animal member! Go ahead friends and family... give me some ideas of what we should get.
Bill, my absolutely amazing and handsome husband has left for a one year plus tour to Afghanistan with RCT8. He is a Marine, a dad and a husband. This blog is for me, his wife to share the trials of being a military spouse.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Friday, September 9, 2011
Happy Birthday to my love
Today is my loves birthday. Happy Birthday Bill.. I know that even with you miles and miles away you still know that we are with you today and everyday. I love you!
You are an amazing man and a wonderful husband. I have been the luckiest girl alive with you by my side. You are my rock, m love and my soul mate.
I can only hope that today as you celebrate your birthday with your comrades in arms that you know I am at home cherishing every memory we have. I love you and wish you the best birthday ever...ok so not the best..that will happen next year when you are home.. but a good one. :)
Stay safe and wear all your gear.. Come home to us!!!
You are an amazing man and a wonderful husband. I have been the luckiest girl alive with you by my side. You are my rock, m love and my soul mate.
I can only hope that today as you celebrate your birthday with your comrades in arms that you know I am at home cherishing every memory we have. I love you and wish you the best birthday ever...ok so not the best..that will happen next year when you are home.. but a good one. :)
Stay safe and wear all your gear.. Come home to us!!!
Thursday, July 28, 2011
June 12th- 28th....... R&R.
I know it has been a long time since I blogged... but hey I needed to be sane for awhile and keep my hubby safe.... yes I followed opsec rules here. I will be writing the catch up ones as if I had written them during the date posted
My hubby came home for his 2 week R&R ... which stands for rest and relaxation...... lets be honest here.... it is a conjugal visit! Your hubby or wife..... gets blessed with 2 weeks of freedom from the fight if they are deployed for 12 months or greater. I call it a conjugal visit because come on.... we are adults and it has been 6 months since I saw him... you seriously think that there is much else on his mind. I also like to equate a deployment to prison. He is told what to do, he is in meager accommodations, he eats when the chow hall is open, he gets limited access to the computers to email, he has even more limited access to a phone, there are not tv's to watch, he works unbearable hours in sweltering heat. Do you think this sounds a bit like a prison labor camp?? So he was sent home for his conjugal visit two days after my 40th birthday. What a great belated present.
Now back to him being blessed with his freedom for 2 weeks. I say they are blessed because it is a double edge sword for the family at home. It is all the excitement of a home coming without actually being a homecoming. You must enjoy 2 weeks and only 2 weeks with them and then with open arms, filled hearts and yes sorrow.... let them go again. I knew that this would be an emotionally hard thing to overcome. There is no time to prepare yourself for them to leave AGAIN. You can prepare for them to come home and you get your hair done, you make sure you have the right outfit to pick them up in, you get butterflies awaiting their arrival and yet deep inside you know that they are leaving again just too soon. I allowed myself to be open to the hurt that letting Bill leave again would cause me. I will cherish the family time and the beach time we had during his 2 weeks. I would not trade it for anything in the world. I needed my "Bill cup" filled. I was becoming somewhat of a witch and he is the one person who calms me, who keeps me even, who fills my heart. So, I would not trade the 2 weeks for anything. It was worth the sorrow and the hurt of letting him go again.
Now to describe the 2 weeks... well it is great. There truly are no words to describe how amazingly wonderful those 2 weeks were. I think I have to leave it at that. The kids loved having Dad home and more importantly loved having "vacation dad" home. This is the dad that because he knows he only has 2 weeks to cherish with the kids... anything goes and there is no parenting from him. Yep, I got to be the parent... he got to be "fun" Dad. I truly could have used a bit of a parental break but nope... it was not to be had. Bill was in complete lack of parenting mode. I would think this is similar to a divorced family with a Dad being the fun one during his one weekend a month.
The kids being who they are completely took advantage of the situation and now being almost August, I almost have them back to the kids I had beaten them into...(yes just joking I did not beat them) but you get the idea right?
Bill and I did get some time to ourselves in the evenings and to be completely honest here.... it is not always the sex you miss the most. For me just being held by him, smelling him, feeling safe in his arms.... now that is what I miss the most. Being held by a man's strong arms and feeling loved... yep that is it for me.
I stated that I allowed myself to feel and knew his leaving would hurt more. It is because most of us wives, we start to build a wall on our emotions prior to a deployment, but when you only have 2 weeks there is no time to waste nor time to push them away. I just opened my heart and felt the love and yes.. filled my Bill cup. That being said, for nights before he left, I stared at him as he slept and wept. I wept tears of love and fear. Fear of letting him go back to the fight when he is laying there safe and unhurt. I believe he only caught me once. I just could not hide my emotions and for me.... that was HUGE! I will say that he did hold me and like I said before that is what I miss the most. Glad my tears got me what I needed. :)
The kids like before were troopers when it was time to say goodbye. No tears were shed by them and they moved on like the champions they are. You have got to love the resiliency of a military child. I drove him to the airport, smiling and doing my best to NOT cry. We sat in the airport holding hands awaiting for his plane to board. I left the airport with a very heavy heart, I sat in my car and cried as I watched his plane leave.
Now my countdown can truly begin.... we have 6 more months until I can welcome him home.
Bill- stay safe on your travels back in country and know that I await your return.
My hubby came home for his 2 week R&R ... which stands for rest and relaxation...... lets be honest here.... it is a conjugal visit! Your hubby or wife..... gets blessed with 2 weeks of freedom from the fight if they are deployed for 12 months or greater. I call it a conjugal visit because come on.... we are adults and it has been 6 months since I saw him... you seriously think that there is much else on his mind. I also like to equate a deployment to prison. He is told what to do, he is in meager accommodations, he eats when the chow hall is open, he gets limited access to the computers to email, he has even more limited access to a phone, there are not tv's to watch, he works unbearable hours in sweltering heat. Do you think this sounds a bit like a prison labor camp?? So he was sent home for his conjugal visit two days after my 40th birthday. What a great belated present.
Now back to him being blessed with his freedom for 2 weeks. I say they are blessed because it is a double edge sword for the family at home. It is all the excitement of a home coming without actually being a homecoming. You must enjoy 2 weeks and only 2 weeks with them and then with open arms, filled hearts and yes sorrow.... let them go again. I knew that this would be an emotionally hard thing to overcome. There is no time to prepare yourself for them to leave AGAIN. You can prepare for them to come home and you get your hair done, you make sure you have the right outfit to pick them up in, you get butterflies awaiting their arrival and yet deep inside you know that they are leaving again just too soon. I allowed myself to be open to the hurt that letting Bill leave again would cause me. I will cherish the family time and the beach time we had during his 2 weeks. I would not trade it for anything in the world. I needed my "Bill cup" filled. I was becoming somewhat of a witch and he is the one person who calms me, who keeps me even, who fills my heart. So, I would not trade the 2 weeks for anything. It was worth the sorrow and the hurt of letting him go again.
Now to describe the 2 weeks... well it is great. There truly are no words to describe how amazingly wonderful those 2 weeks were. I think I have to leave it at that. The kids loved having Dad home and more importantly loved having "vacation dad" home. This is the dad that because he knows he only has 2 weeks to cherish with the kids... anything goes and there is no parenting from him. Yep, I got to be the parent... he got to be "fun" Dad. I truly could have used a bit of a parental break but nope... it was not to be had. Bill was in complete lack of parenting mode. I would think this is similar to a divorced family with a Dad being the fun one during his one weekend a month.
The kids being who they are completely took advantage of the situation and now being almost August, I almost have them back to the kids I had beaten them into...(yes just joking I did not beat them) but you get the idea right?
Bill and I did get some time to ourselves in the evenings and to be completely honest here.... it is not always the sex you miss the most. For me just being held by him, smelling him, feeling safe in his arms.... now that is what I miss the most. Being held by a man's strong arms and feeling loved... yep that is it for me.
I stated that I allowed myself to feel and knew his leaving would hurt more. It is because most of us wives, we start to build a wall on our emotions prior to a deployment, but when you only have 2 weeks there is no time to waste nor time to push them away. I just opened my heart and felt the love and yes.. filled my Bill cup. That being said, for nights before he left, I stared at him as he slept and wept. I wept tears of love and fear. Fear of letting him go back to the fight when he is laying there safe and unhurt. I believe he only caught me once. I just could not hide my emotions and for me.... that was HUGE! I will say that he did hold me and like I said before that is what I miss the most. Glad my tears got me what I needed. :)
The kids like before were troopers when it was time to say goodbye. No tears were shed by them and they moved on like the champions they are. You have got to love the resiliency of a military child. I drove him to the airport, smiling and doing my best to NOT cry. We sat in the airport holding hands awaiting for his plane to board. I left the airport with a very heavy heart, I sat in my car and cried as I watched his plane leave.
Now my countdown can truly begin.... we have 6 more months until I can welcome him home.
Bill- stay safe on your travels back in country and know that I await your return.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)