There are days when...........I question why I am okay with the career choice my husband has made. I question why I follow him every 3 years to a new location. I question why I have given up my career goals for his. I question why..... a lot when he is not home AND then I make a list ...
Here are only a few reasons to the questions above....
1. He loves ..... to his core!!
2. He is honest... to a fault.
3. He has an immense amount of integrity.
4. He believes in God and places him above all else... yes even if he does not attend mass... he believes.
5. He is strong... yes honey you have one hot bod! LOL
6. He believes in his job and loves his country.. he loves the Corps and loves his job
7. He would die for his fellow Marines... I hate this but it truly makes me proud....
8. He is noble
9. He is my best friend
10. He is humble.... if only I could emulate this as you do.
11. He is not jealous
12. He is forgiving
13. He is an amazing father
13. He is mine!!!!!!!!
This list is only a few of the attributes of my husband... I am sure if I was not working on day 55 of single motherhood I could come up with more... but hey I never said he was perfect!!!
Bill-
You are my split apart- my soul mate-........... stay safe.. wear your helmet and flak and by all means DO NOT LEAVE THE CAMP!!!!
Bill, my absolutely amazing and handsome husband has left for a one year plus tour to Afghanistan with RCT8. He is a Marine, a dad and a husband. This blog is for me, his wife to share the trials of being a military spouse.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Sunday, March 6, 2011
the have's and have not's...............day 312+
In the military there are several different jobs. The Marines call them MOS's... I call them jobs. This is where you specialize into a particular job field. You can be a cook, a lawyer, a mechanic, a pilot, or a grunt just to name a few. The military is a large corporation and like all corporations they have levels of employees with different skill sets. All of these skill sets are needed to make this corporation run smoothly, the problem is that sometimes our Marines and their spouses forget this basic concept.
There are men and women in Afghanistan that are fighting for our countries safety and security on different levels. Some are in the thick of the battle fighting with weapons, while others are not. Their skill set requires them to be in a behind the scenes role. This allows them to be in a camp that has running water and possibly a bathroom. Are they any less a part of the fight??? NO! Some have the ability to use the internet and call home while some are in the field with no access... does that make them less important?? NO! It takes a strong and solid base to allow the spear to fight. I only hope that spouses and members of our forces can remember that... there is not one single more important Marine than the next. Everyone has a job to do and as a collective they are mighty, but as a singular entity they are weak.
I say this because.... if you are that spouse wanting to wear a badge of honor because your husband is in "the thick of it" go ahead.. it is not that glorious of a badge ... most of our husbands on the grunt side have "been there done that".... we spouses are hard to impress. I am proud of those spouse who have a loved one in the hardened battle... I am proud of you for bearing the hardest deployment of your life.... I am proud of you.... do you hear me.... now move on and be happy he is surrounded by a large entity of highly skilled people that have his back. My husband is one of them... he has your husbands back and trust me... I have yours... can we now quit comparing the have and have nots of the deployment. Talk freely about how this is hard for you, I will listen, I will hug... but in return you must be willing to hear that I do talk to my husband, he does have access...and you have to be happy for me. We are both dealing with a deployment regardless of length or location of our spouse, this unites us. Let us support one another and not compare. I can recall being in your shoes and if I can not ... I can listen with utter love and support for you.
disclaimer..... no there is not a person I am referring to here... but it is a topic that has come up quite often lately and this was my spin on it.
Bill-
I love that you can call and email me. I love you!!! I miss you!
Mister is waiting for your return, please know that if you take too long there could other furry additions to the household. The kids are begging me and I am a sucker.. you are the one that usually has my back when I say no...hmmm...
There are men and women in Afghanistan that are fighting for our countries safety and security on different levels. Some are in the thick of the battle fighting with weapons, while others are not. Their skill set requires them to be in a behind the scenes role. This allows them to be in a camp that has running water and possibly a bathroom. Are they any less a part of the fight??? NO! Some have the ability to use the internet and call home while some are in the field with no access... does that make them less important?? NO! It takes a strong and solid base to allow the spear to fight. I only hope that spouses and members of our forces can remember that... there is not one single more important Marine than the next. Everyone has a job to do and as a collective they are mighty, but as a singular entity they are weak.
I say this because.... if you are that spouse wanting to wear a badge of honor because your husband is in "the thick of it" go ahead.. it is not that glorious of a badge ... most of our husbands on the grunt side have "been there done that".... we spouses are hard to impress. I am proud of those spouse who have a loved one in the hardened battle... I am proud of you for bearing the hardest deployment of your life.... I am proud of you.... do you hear me.... now move on and be happy he is surrounded by a large entity of highly skilled people that have his back. My husband is one of them... he has your husbands back and trust me... I have yours... can we now quit comparing the have and have nots of the deployment. Talk freely about how this is hard for you, I will listen, I will hug... but in return you must be willing to hear that I do talk to my husband, he does have access...and you have to be happy for me. We are both dealing with a deployment regardless of length or location of our spouse, this unites us. Let us support one another and not compare. I can recall being in your shoes and if I can not ... I can listen with utter love and support for you.
disclaimer..... no there is not a person I am referring to here... but it is a topic that has come up quite often lately and this was my spin on it.
Bill-
I love that you can call and email me. I love you!!! I miss you!
Mister is waiting for your return, please know that if you take too long there could other furry additions to the household. The kids are begging me and I am a sucker.. you are the one that usually has my back when I say no...hmmm...
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Military spouse survival into phase two... my list of accomplishments,....Day 316+
Phase two of the spousal survival in a deployment. I have reached this milestone, here is proof:
I have mailed a package.
I have cried and hit rock bottom.
I survived my rock bottom...at least that one! (we all know you may have several moments like those)
I have had a meeting with teachers.
I have fixed household items.
I have screamed at my kids and they still love me.
I have started to fall asleep at night before 1:00am.
I have gotten up early to get the kids off to school and to date they have not been late! (remember I hate mornings)
I have completed the final steps for Bills life insurance.
I have managed to get all my kids to all events... ok maybe not all on time.. but hey they were there.
I have celebrated a birthday without Bill and my child was happy.. not sad because Daddy was not here.
I have managed a rental house issue by myself.
I have gotten sick and managed all the daily tasks.
My kids have been sick and I have managed all the daily tasks. ( I think it is harder when they are sick than when I am)
I have pushed back that fear of the unknown so far..that now I eat...I eat a lot!
I have embraced being lonely and it no longer haunts me.
I no longer cry in the shower.... I only break down when the doorbell rings late at night.
I have watched friends say farewell to their loved ones... and I did not cry.. I did not internalize and dredge up my farewell.
I have made it to my doctors appointment and .... well... I am at home...so that means...........................
I have remained sane enough to not be institutionalized.... I know several of you may beg to differ... thanks!
What I have yet to do... but seeing as how autopilot of phase two is working..this should be easy right?
I have not buried a pet.... yes Mister is still kicking.. we do poke him occasionally just to be sure he is breathing.
I have not filed our taxes.
I have not watched my neighbors rejoice when their husbands arrive home... this will be joyous.... but also a reminder that mine is not amongst them.
I have not packaged another box up yet..... I have a big issue with sending mail... not sure what that block is... but I know it is completely emotional and unfounded.
I have not had a girls night out.... this does not include Bunco... I am talking about a night out that you can tie one on and just cut loose with that friend .. you know the one friend whom you trust enough to see you tie one on.... not sure if waterworks will come... but she is ready in case they do. thank you Shannon for planning this one.. I can not wait!
I am sure I have left items off the have done and also the have yet to do... but hey it is 830am and I am only on my 1st cup of coffee. Did you truly expect it to be perfect?
Bill-
Hoping all is well with you. Hoping you have not stubbed your toe on big boulders late at night while trying to find the god awful port a potty. Will be sending bandaids and thick rubber soled slippers....ok... maybe I will, when I send another box.. please do not hold your breath!!!!
I would now like to see this so called tent/bunk room you live in. Are you sure you are not living it large at a four seasons? I believe you said you eat out every meal... this would mean you are at an all inclusive resort right?
I have mailed a package.
I have cried and hit rock bottom.
I survived my rock bottom...at least that one! (we all know you may have several moments like those)
I have had a meeting with teachers.
I have fixed household items.
I have screamed at my kids and they still love me.
I have started to fall asleep at night before 1:00am.
I have gotten up early to get the kids off to school and to date they have not been late! (remember I hate mornings)
I have completed the final steps for Bills life insurance.
I have managed to get all my kids to all events... ok maybe not all on time.. but hey they were there.
I have celebrated a birthday without Bill and my child was happy.. not sad because Daddy was not here.
I have managed a rental house issue by myself.
I have gotten sick and managed all the daily tasks.
My kids have been sick and I have managed all the daily tasks. ( I think it is harder when they are sick than when I am)
I have pushed back that fear of the unknown so far..that now I eat...I eat a lot!
I have embraced being lonely and it no longer haunts me.
I no longer cry in the shower.... I only break down when the doorbell rings late at night.
I have watched friends say farewell to their loved ones... and I did not cry.. I did not internalize and dredge up my farewell.
I have made it to my doctors appointment and .... well... I am at home...so that means...........................
I have remained sane enough to not be institutionalized.... I know several of you may beg to differ... thanks!
What I have yet to do... but seeing as how autopilot of phase two is working..this should be easy right?
I have not buried a pet.... yes Mister is still kicking.. we do poke him occasionally just to be sure he is breathing.
I have not filed our taxes.
I have not watched my neighbors rejoice when their husbands arrive home... this will be joyous.... but also a reminder that mine is not amongst them.
I have not packaged another box up yet..... I have a big issue with sending mail... not sure what that block is... but I know it is completely emotional and unfounded.
I have not had a girls night out.... this does not include Bunco... I am talking about a night out that you can tie one on and just cut loose with that friend .. you know the one friend whom you trust enough to see you tie one on.... not sure if waterworks will come... but she is ready in case they do. thank you Shannon for planning this one.. I can not wait!
I am sure I have left items off the have done and also the have yet to do... but hey it is 830am and I am only on my 1st cup of coffee. Did you truly expect it to be perfect?
Bill-
Hoping all is well with you. Hoping you have not stubbed your toe on big boulders late at night while trying to find the god awful port a potty. Will be sending bandaids and thick rubber soled slippers....ok... maybe I will, when I send another box.. please do not hold your breath!!!!
I would now like to see this so called tent/bunk room you live in. Are you sure you are not living it large at a four seasons? I believe you said you eat out every meal... this would mean you are at an all inclusive resort right?
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